Words resonate within
Sounding the drum of a heart I didn’t know existed
Dreams keep me sleeping; hush now,
You’re only dreaming
I sigh
I yearn for a live that which I wish to live
this isn’t it
Jul 7, 2017
Jul 7, 2017 at 5:21 AM UTC
I once knew my father so well
He fought back tears as we spoke of Heaven and Hell
He watched me swim in the backyard in a kitty pool
I thought he was great and sometimes, even cool
I love my father
I lost my dad some years ago
Not to death, only to alcohol and sorrow
I'm not sure who he is now
I know only that it is not likely he will return
I love my father
He showed me what it's like to really live life on this Earth
No material things really mattered
Only love, friendship, and family, until it all shattered
I see the glossy-ness of your eyes as you pop the tab of another beer
It all grew from the root of fear
You didn't mean to lose it all
Only to have a great climb before the fall
I love you, father
My dad taught me patience
Picking him up out of a bathtub, my fear latent
Anger prevails
Arms flail
A relationship so frail
The seams busted, and I screamed and shouted
You never doubted me
I love you, father
I've forgiven you too many times to count
I never showed resentment, only annoyance
I admit, not dismiss
I broke boundaries and treated you with disrespect
You don't deserve it when you're at your best
But that still leaves all the rest
I love my father
I'm angry, but not blindly so
I give my all for him only to dispose
My dad's a drunk
But I've come to accept
I know he loves me, so that's all I'll continue to expect
I love you, father
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
I grit my teeth; I love sins
I keep my own fate furled
Beneath the stars and bars, I wait to begin
I hate this world that which we live in
I bleed inside, I rot upon a shelf
Me, my life and body, taint the pure
I completely hate myself
For a rest I yearn
Create for me a cure
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 2:54 PM UTC
I'm tired of these misconceptions
The expectation for perfection
Everyone is pointed in the wrong direction
I'm not perfect, but soon you'll begin to see
That perfect is not the thing to be
Because what is inside is the only explanation you could ever need
Inconceivable mysteries hidden in the minds of young children
They are the ones that see but do not expect perfection
Innocence is what's inside
And that's the beauty of it, you see
In their beautiful, untainted minds
Perfection is an idea that exists in everything
Everything big, everything small
Children see the beauty in it all
Why can't we see from the eyes of children?
That innocence is lost in the older generation
We've seen the horror and pain
Again and again
We've got so caught up in drama and evil, that we no longer see the beauty and perfection
It's a sad, sad thing that this world is coming to
But children, they see right through
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 1:10 PM UTC
If my wish were your command
What would I wish for?
A new life, a new past, a new family, a new body?
I wouldn't wish, no, not for a thing
Because without what has happened to me, I would not be the same
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 1:05 PM UTC
Oh who am I kidding, life doesn't work that way
There are no happy endings or prince charmings
More like heartbreak and self-harming
You cut your wrists just to see them bleed
It's such a rush, the blade becomes your noble steed
you watch the blood flow down the drain
Along with your hopes and dreams of love and fame
You feel the life draining out of you
But no, oh no, you don't want it to end
even though your dog is your only friend,
even though you've been depressed for more days than you can count
Deep down you still had hope that someway, somehow you'd amount
To something
The black spots are clouding your vision
You panic, you cry,
And you realize that you don't want to die
You pray to God, begging to survive
Promising to do anything, in exchange for a second chance at life
But life, you see, is not a game
When it's your time to go, you go:
No excuses and hopefully no pain
All you see now is blackness
It's taking you under, out of consciousness
Your life doesn't flash before your eyes
You don't see the "light"
You're lost, alone
And now...
You're gone
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 11:16 PM UTC
you never realize how significant a moment is until it becomes a memory
good or bad, memories mark significance
like the time you snuck out of your best friend's house
you got stuck in the window and laughed so hard you peed your pants
or the time you got out of the hospital
the start of your life living with your sister
at first, it was the best thing that could've happened
until your happiness, once again, blackened
and when you moved to your father's,
the blackness began to diminish into pure white joy
so many memories are stored in your brain
so much happiness and so much pain
like the day you wreck you mother's car
compared to that day, you've come so far
or the day your nephew Sammy was born
you thought seeing your sister give birth would be the most awkward thing in the world
but when you saw his head, suddenly he was the only thing in the world
you have friends and family who care about you so much
you're 16 years old, 17 in three months
one year closer to 18 doesn't seem like much
but soon you'll realize that your life is about to change
someday you'll look back on this poem
and when you do, hopefully you'll realize that your 16-year-old self wasn't all that broken
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 11:03 PM UTC
Poetry,
What does that truly mean?
I once knew a boy who would write poems and send them to me.
For this boy writing is not just a dream,
If you looked beneath his surface, ink is what he'd bleed,
From the knowledge obtained from the books he likes to read.
When you say he's lost in the silly words,
Well in his mind he's finally free.
And when he smiles, it ignites some kind of fire in me.
His eyes, they mesmerize
A shocking blue more beautiful than the sky.
For him I'd die and for him I write.
I think I finally know what poetry really means,
And I think I understand now what this boy means to me.
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 10:43 PM UTC
You are the chlorine, stinging my eyes
You are the one I most despise
If people were rain, you'd be acidic
The thought of you makes me sick
But
You are the blood flowing through my veins
You are the one my heart claims
If people were rain you'd fall in the warm summer air
The way you make me feel... well that's not fair
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 1:22 PM UTC