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bugs
19/Gender Fluid/Tennessee Give to earn
Shinning sun Wet clothes Childhood fun Concrete close Warm sun Breeze serene Simple fun Trees so green Silly sun Silly girl Innocent fun Pure pearl
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Sep 7, 2025
Sep 7, 2025 at 10:22 PM UTC
Warm Concrete
I’ve grown a little older, but not without splinters. Not without nights where I bartered my worth for a hit of approval, a whisper of God, a hand that didn’t shake when it touched me. I grew up in the shadows, learning to read faces like maps— trying to find home in someone else’s eyes because I didn’t know how to live inside my own skin. I mistook silence for safety. Pain for prophecy. Love for anything that didn’t leave. I folded myself into shapes that fit the holes in other people. I called it salvation. I called it belonging. But it was rot with perfume, familiar like the cluttered rooms of my childhood— loud with everything no one would say. I searched in holy books, pill bottles, broken mouths, and empty beds— tried to baptize my wounds with anything but myself. And when I couldn't find love, I tried to earn it. Starve for it. Bleed for it. Be small and sweet and un-scary enough to be worthy of it. But all the while— quiet as breath— you were waiting. The version of me I buried deep. The one who knew how to sing before the world taught her shame. And now— now I touch the mirror like it’s a wound and a window. And I whisper to the girl I was, to the ghost still pacing the halls of my chest: You are the unconditional love you’ve been searching for your whole life. And it was never in them. Never in Him. Never in hunger, or hiding.
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Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 1:45 AM UTC
In every mirror but my own
We've never met And yet, I can see the sun in your hair It reminds me of my mother. We've never met And yet, when we take a breath of air It is in sync with one another. We've never met And yet, I can hear your laugh like a sweet pear It is just like my big brother. We've never met And yet, I know you because you know me Human and raw and alive. We've never met And yet, I fear for your life It is nothing like mine. We've never met And I'm hoping your still alive; It is war-ravanged, your home, in Gaza.
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May 10, 2025
May 10, 2025 at 10:43 PM UTC
Untitled
I can see the flicker of the digits Right there, in the light of your eyes My senses heighten and my chest tightens Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits Then everything is fine as we laugh You cook bacon, eggs and pancakes I watch Nascar not because I want to But because it was with you Oh how I wanted to be a daddy's girl The morning passed and afternoon came Leaving any hopes I had as a faint memory I read the digits 00 : 00 You're throwing around blame It hits everyone until their covered in shame The fear is what gets me until I'm standing; staring You always hated when I did that My eyes following your red face and quick movements I watch as hinges pry away, plates shatter and your mouth calls "brat" Now I can understand why you are But I will never forgive what you made me A frightened girl with the concept of self worth so far You filled me with hate, shame and self blame Now I can understand why you are My feelings are so unstable until they spill An angry girl with little control so far I am your daughter and my life is a landfill I can see the flicker of the digits in my mirror Right there, in the light of my eyes My senses heighten and my chest tightens Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits Then everything is fine as I laugh Knowing it's all just all a matter of time Old habits die hard; my self sabotage I shouldn't be wasting away my prime The afternoon passed and night came I can no longer dream of a better tomorrow I read the digits 00 : 00 I cover myself with blame and shame Just like dad taught me Are you proud of me now? We're so alike and so different We're the bombs in our home
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May 3, 2025
May 3, 2025 at 3:39 PM UTC
The bomb in my home (unedited)
I can see the flicker of the digits Right there, in the light of your eyes My senses heighten and my chest tightens Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits Then everything is fine as we laugh You cook bacon, eggs and pancakes I watch Nascar not because I want to But because it was with you Oh how I wanted to be a daddy's girl The morning passed and afternoon came Leaving any hopes I had as a faint memory I read the digits 00 : 00 You're throwing around blame It hits everyone until their covered in shame The fear is what gets me until I'm standing; staring You always hated when I did that My eyes following your red face and quick movements I watch as hinges pry away, plates shatter and your mouth calls "brat" Now I can understand why you are But I will never forgive what you made me A frightened girl with the concept of self worth so far You filled me with hate, shame and self blame Now I can understand why you are My feelings are so unstable until they spill An angry girl with little control so far I am your daughter and my life is a landfill I can see the flicker of the digits in my mirror Right there, in the light of my eyes My senses heighten and my chest tightens Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits Then everything is fine as I laugh Knowing it's all just all a matter of time Old habits die hard; my self sabotage I shouldn't be wasting away my prime The afternoon passed and night came I can no longer dream of a better tomorrow I read the digits 00 : 00 I cover myself with blame and shame Just like dad taught me Are you proud of me now? We're so alike and so different We're the bombs in our home
Continue reading...
44
In the dark, I shall remain hopeful. In the hardest arc, I shall remain soulful. For the moon will return; Shinning it's beautiful light. For the sun does burn, Throughout every night.
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Apr 30, 2025
Apr 30, 2025 at 11:48 PM UTC
Moth
I am the moon Woman and attune I am the sun Man and one I am the lost Wandering around I am the recovered Safe and sound I am the aggressor Baring teeth I am the victim Bleeding my soul I am everything And nothing at all I am loved I am hated I am human Only the sun and the moon Can see me so beautifully For when their lips touch They are everything to see And yet so utterly blinding
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Apr 26, 2025
Apr 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM UTC
Eclipse (free verse)
Wake up and I swallow Instagram reels and dry pills to help feel less hollow Bite into tender flesh sip on my blood coffee their pain is still so fresh New phone every new year six marketable colors screams fall on a deaf ear My hair begins, thins out checking all the labels ingredients I do doubt All we do is consume no matter what the cost dead families, no tomb Wake up and listen in They don't care about us Money hungry eat skin
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Nov 21, 2023
Nov 21, 2023 at 12:48 AM UTC
CONSUME
They call my name and I fall Falling, Falling yes Falling It has me feeling quite tall You call my name and I fall Falling, falling, yes Falling I shrink to the ground, feeling small And hey deadname I hate your stupid guts You ruined everything and anything there's no one else to blame And oh my God I'm sorry for fixing your mistakes I didn't know you'd mind so much Now people look at me differently They seem to pray to you God "Change her" they ask of you intently spewing hate and judgement gently It only hurts if it has sharp edges Sugar coated pills I take daily And hey deadname I hate your stupid guts You ruined everything and anything there's no one else to blame And oh my God I'm sorry for fixing your mistakes I didn't know you'd mind so much Colors cover my body and brain Sticky thoughts, sticky hands But I'm the one to blame I treat the sickness you gave Without your sugar coated drug acceptance is what I crave
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Aug 22, 2022
Aug 22, 2022 at 5:11 PM UTC
Deadname
I always thought diplomas should be golden Or maybe the papers that hold high ACT scores For years you study and stress and hold in All for these papers to decide your open doors I know some who put their worth on it Like this test is everything they are and will be For a time, I believed that too I must admit Truth is, I am not smart on paper and where does that leave me? I spent to much time thinking I was dumb I am a highly intelligent being just not on what they test for My life can’t rest on test scores because I’d succumb My feet would slip into the depths stuck underneath society’s floor
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Apr 12, 2022
Apr 12, 2022 at 1:57 PM UTC
Society's Score