Scary thoughts scratching the inside of my head
Screaming at me you should be dead
Telling me no one will miss my smile
Telling me they won't notice for a while
I try to push the thoughts away
To think of a reason to survive another day
Darkness closing in on me
I have to find a way to be free
I breathe and breathe and count to ten
I hear a friend say it will be ok again
Tears stream out until the ducts run dry
Left with thoughts of wondering why
Tired, exhausted, closing my eyes tight
Wishing for unconsciousness for the night
So tomorrow I can wake and continue my fight
Jun 1, 2019
Jun 1, 2019 at 9:44 PM UTC
My heart is a dark room closing in
Feeling weighed down by the emptiness within
My chest feeling so so tight
Feeling that something just isn't right
Running from what I know to be true
I really have no idea what to do
A loneliness so deep surrounds me
Using my shadows to completely hide me
My face often glistening with my tears
As I try to avoid facing my fears
Filled with anger, jealousy and pain
Trying to find my bubbliness again
This dark space closing in on me
I can escape, I can be free
I know there in my sight
Far away I see the light
It's getting closer and within reach
With every lesson life does teach
Someday soon I know I'll love me...
Then I'll finally see that I am already free
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 10:12 PM UTC
So much anger, so much pain
Feeling the hurt over and over again
So many years running away
Knowing it will catch up someday
Holding tears, waiting for the first note
Bracing for the lyrics he wrote
The first note rings in my ear
And I'm faced with pain and so much fear
A river suddenly flows from my eyes
Hearing only that song and my cries
My breathing is suddenly so fast
Wishing the pain and anger won't last
I feel anger and pain in my chest
I feel it pushing and trying to force out the rest
The pain and anger built up inside
Makes me want to run, want to hide
So much anger for hurting me
So much hatred for using me
So much pain for losing me
So much sorrow for how it had to be
You took so much innocence away
You taught me silence every day
You gave me fear and self hate
Made me weak and sealed my fate
I'm facing my feelings and letting you go
No more hiding, putting on a show
You tried to break me in every way
But i am finally me and I am here to stay
I'm stronger than you will ever be
From your hold, i can now be free
The anger, the hatred the pain wont stay long
It will fade, like the power of a song
And when I'm ready and and to me I'm true
I will...someday forgive you too
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 7:09 PM UTC
There are times we lose our way
Times we don't know what to say
Time we want to break and cry
Times where we wonder why
They say everything happens for a reason
Like a sunrise, a sunset, a season
But at times its too hard to see
When you are filled with pain and misery
Its hard to stay so positive
And search for all the reasons to live
To hold on all to all the good
And see the possibilities that could
But unknown to us all we find our way
To keep pushing on through each day
We each have stuggles of our own
But together no one is alone
Find your strength in family and friends
And with love and support dark times ends
Hold on to the true you
No matter how lost, no matter how blue
You are not alone.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 6:57 PM UTC
For a moment you made me soar
For a moment you showed me what life was for
Every look took my breath away
Every word made me feel a certain way
Our kiss wasn't just a kiss
It was a connection, utter bliss
Every touch was electric and freeing
Every moment creating new dreaming
You helped me truly find and be me
The first time in my life being free
In such a short space of time
I wanted you, i wished you were mine
But here we are
On different paths that are so far
You taught me it doesn't always last
A sunset, a storm, a moment
But rather than not at all, I'm glad it's a past
This really is not the end
I have a new life long friend
A friend, a chance to take
A chance to let go of the ache
You in my life makes me happy
So for now I'll close my heart
Take it off my sleeve
Because in my heart i truly believe
That what's meant to be will be
And some day if im lucky, there will be a you and me
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:14 PM UTC
Life is filled with so much possibilities and dreams
Filed with so much more than it seems
Dancing, a language on its very own
Not always shared, not always known
When a connection forms and two meet as one
Lost in music, everyone else gone
A freedom takes over from deep within
Freedom, happiness, just you two dancin
He takes your hand and then in his embrace
His frame is strong, heat rising in your face
He leads the way and you flow as one
Where a new language has begun
Words are spoken with the look in your eyes
The wonder in the smiles and the awkward goodbyes
For that perfect moment your souls combined
You were so in synch you felt intertwined
The attraction you felt burned in between
For hands to then part, the remainder unseen
You say your thanks and you walk apart
And remember a moment in your heart
So beautiful, so warm, so true
Even if it was only meant for you
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:02 PM UTC