Alone in between the right and the wrongs,
Left, alone in this place of darkness and stone,
Below, I belong with the other things left undone,
Unravelled ingenuity becomes,
Anonymous animosity,
Misogynous monstrosity,
Disingenuous duopoly,
Synonymous, settling finally, with simple simplicity,
Not original nor profound,
There’s already been every sound,
Footprints on supposed unhallowed ground,
And yet we still dig down,
Down, down into the depths to find,
The simple thing that is only mine,
Simple thing,
Simple things are not what they seem,
Easy to say, but hard to mean,
Simple things are only so in dreams,
And probably already passim,
It is really nothing, in fact dead,
Everything worth saying has already been said,
And repeated again and again,
And again we try to abstain,
Refrain from replacing by accident,
Disdain and heckler’s haughty contempt,
You were there,
You were where I did not dare,
Unprepared for the lies and despair,
Unaware of the incompatible compared,
The undemanding and the complicated,
Down in the dark I stand illuminated,
Concentrated, concentrated and fully fabricated,
Automated someone manufactured whilst isolated,
Looking for the simple thing to make it all make sense,
Become alone and lost in a fog of thoughts too dense,
Why do you never drive me far?
Because you’re really not my friends,
So do I either throw caution out the car?
Or do I drive you round the bend?
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:48 PM UTC
Easily led,
Pulling the threads,
Creating a nothing from that things that you’ve said,
Pretty dress,
I can’t confess,
My miserable mistresses making more mess,
Rattle empty heads,
The living look dead,
I take your vacant expression and I do thee wed,
One day you’ll see me in a magazine,
Still unclean if you know what I mean,
It’s all a lie so why question why?
The real truth would make you want to die,
Don’t know why I still want to try,
Don’t care at all and this is goodbye,
Hang up the phone,
Now I’m all alone,
****** black blue,
You’re just confused,
My head is cracked with our wires are fused,
I want to live a lie in a life without you,
But don’t know how, now what I should I do,
One day you’ll see me in the unseen,
Pumped with gasoline that they call the vaccine,
It’s all a lie so why question why?
Proof you want to die,
Truth is the lie,
Get out the car,
Home’s not too far,
So nearly there but somehow I’m in a bar,
Convulsing religiously with this holy disease,
Being besieged behind lock and keys,
One day you’ll see me in a diazepam dream,
Quitting the scene with quitiapine,
It’s all a lie so why question why?
The truth is real and I want to die,
Don’t know why I but I think I can try,
Don’t care at all and this is goodbye
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:46 PM UTC
I don’t know what you think you’ll find,
Open your eyes but close your mind,
What a waste to taste how it feels,
But not eat anything real,
Everything is so rotten and so stale,
Living in a world of lullabies and fairy tales
Darkness erupts from inside,
The light helps it to hide,
Teardrops can’t be cut by knives,
Just an affirmation of being alive,
You’re so cold and so pale,
Living in a world of nightmares and fairy tales
Always something to think about,
Sinking deeper and no way out,
A requisite that just feels so wrong,
A puppet show and I don’t belong,
I blow the wind and you set sail,
Living a world of fantasy and fairy tales
I see the beauty, I feel the pain,
The cold of the sun, the heat of the rain,
The pound of my words and my words in the thunder,
Is what I have all in my head?
I wander, I wonder, ponder all asunder,
What I’ve said, paths misled,
A dream that I can break and fail and try again,
Or a world of fairy tales and make pretend
Sell me the secret to be stuck like you,
Tell me to forget and stick like glue,
You don’t see but you’re content,
I opened my eyes and I resent,
Knocking holes in roadblocks and opening Pandora’s Box,
Reset the clocks and the safety rails,
Bring back the world that’s a fairy tale
A puppet show and I don’t belong,
I blow the wind and you set the sail,
Living in a world of fantasy and fairy tales
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:44 PM UTC
I’m not ready for the curtain call,
I’m not ready for the curtain to fall
You’re ready to go,
I’m not ready to let you,
So, I’m holding on to something I don’t know,
Might be wrong but I don’t know what else to do
I wish I could have been your antibodies,
I wish I could have been the author of your story,
I wish I could have been there to say I’m sorry,
I wish I could have been your antibodies
You’re ready to go it alone,
I’m not ready to let you,
Stone, I wish we were made of stone and bone,
My living dead interlude that never moves
I wish I could have been your antibodies,
I wish I could have been the author of your story,
I wish I could have been there to say I’m sorry,
I wish I could have been your antibodies
You danced naked,
In a front of a crowd of empty faces,
Wild and wasted,
But you danced,
And they faded,
You are who you want,
You are who you want us to want you to be,
But now you’re leaving me,
And I’m not ready,
I’m not ready for the curtain call,
I’m not ready for the curtain to fall
I wish I could have been your antibodies,
I wish I could have been the author of your story,
I wish I could have been there to say I’m sorry,
I wish I could have been your antibodies
I wish I could have been your antibodies, but I can’t and I’m so sorry
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:41 PM UTC
Tired kid lets the old paranoia sink in,
I hear your worried words so loud,
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I want it all to stop now but I don’t know how,
New phantom thoughts just don’t know what they’re thinking,
But you still try and you say that you’re proud,
You can say it today but,
From now on that word’s not allowed,
Looking at nothing all night,
Nothing in nowhere and there’s no getting out,
I’m alright, I’m alright,
I’m alright without knowing what it’s all about,
Open up the cupboard doors again,
Got to swallow all my friends then,
Maybe I pretend I haven’t got any,
Left twenty-two years too many,
No I don’t want any birthday cake,
The man on the moon made a mistake,
He can’t take all the steps now he just wants to leap,
Into empty space and I’m trying to sleep,
Boy on the moon with the world at his feet,
With a whole lot of nothing still in-between,
Close your eyes and hold your breath,
Push off the end into quietude in death,
You gave it your best,
I have nothing left,
Stuck in-between, you don’t know what that means,
You’re not where I’ve been,
You’ve not seen what I’ve seen,
I’m not complaining,
No I’m not complaining,
Because it don’t change a **** thing,
About anything
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:38 PM UTC
The ground is cold and hard,
And the times are much the same,
We’ve come from afar,
Now I’m tired of this game
I’ve lost so much on the way,
To carry on seems unfair,
Why should I go back to stay,
When you’re no longer there?
But, when the times are getting dire,
And the light begins to fade,
My legs begin to tire,
And my debts have all be paid,
It’s getting hard to see,
And you’re getting hard to find,
Come lay down beside me,
Come fix my broken mind
Beside the dying fire
The light licks at my eyes,
The embers rise up high,
Is that you in disguise?
Or do the shadows whisper lies?
I know how far I’ve gone,
I know how far I want to go,
I know now that I’m done,
But I wanted you to know
That when the times are getting dire,
And the light begins to fade,
My legs begin to tire,
My debts have all be paid,
It’s getting hard to see,
And you’re getting hard to find,
Come lay beside me,
Come fix my broken mind.
Beside the dying fire
Embrace the heat at last,
Forget all that has been,
To wish away the past,
And erase all that I’ve seen.
I’m ready to watch the dance,
To feel free from all the blame,
I’m ready to see you glance,
See you stare back from the flame
Beside the dying fire
Now that the times have gotten dire,
And the light begins to fade,
You’re getting hard to see
And I’m getting hard to find
My legs begin to tire,
My debts have all be paid
Come lay beside me,
Come fix my broken mind.
Beside my dying fire.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 5:36 PM UTC
There’s an young man sleeping rough close to my home,
He cups his hands up to me, begging just for 20p,
So he can call a girl that he used to know,
But it means nothing to me,
He’s cold and starving, I told him to let her go,
He said no, and I said no.
I always see him singing, of his love and how he won’t give up her,
Even if she’s left him out at sea,
He’s lost his lover, but it means nothing to me.
There’s a young man walking on his way to work alone,
Hands in his pockets, playing with a 20p,
That he needs for nothing, don’t you see,
That that means something to me,
I say I need my baby, I want to tell her I need to come back home,
But he said no.
I can’t stop singing; I’m fed and kept warm by this love of hers,
Even if she’s left me shipwrecked and out at sea,
I’ve not lost my love, not really, and that means something to me.
I walk to work, same way I always do,
I go past where you should be laying, but there’s just an empty cup,
A tattered sign where you should be, saying, ‘I’ve not given up’,
And that means something to me,
I’m so **** sorry, I don’t know if you ever got back home,
I hope so.
A few years later there’s a man waiting on the cliffs of Dover,
Just looking out to sea,
He says he’s lost his lover, and he needs to search where she left me,
But it means nothing to me.
He’s old and shaking, I told him to go back home,
He said no.
He starts crying into a worn out handkerchief,
He walks over to me, begging just for 20p,
And that means something to me.
The young man I once knew, looking for his lover,
Had grown grey all alone, always waiting for that 20p,
For the telescope to find the girl he used to know,
Never gave up hope, but did not know where to go,
And that meant everything to me,
I’m so **** sorry, for not helping you back to land,
I put one hundred 20p’s into his hand.
One hundred 20p’s into the machine later, and finds nothing,
I walk on over to him, give him my last 20p,
And he looks one last time out to sea.
The old man thanks me, for helping after all,
We walk away together, and suddenly there’s a call,
It’s the girl he used to know,
Shouting his name from a boat fighting the tides relentless pull,
She screams I’m so **** sorry, she’s searched the seven seas,
It means everything to me,
To see him get back home.
And I go.
But I’ve not got 20p to get back home.
But that means nothing to me.
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 10:02 AM UTC
I’m indebted,
But didn’t pay anyone a cent,
Gave everything to the imagined and regretted,
Demons in my head
They’re silhouetted,
Shadows echo words I never meant,
You whispered to me, quiet everything that they’ve said,
There’s nothing to fear, there’s no monsters in this bed.
You are the silence in the hurricane inside my mind,
You are the sense of seeing to these broken eyes born blind
Walking beheaded,
With hands in the pockets of the dead,
Lost my mind, I fumbled for the dreaded,
Hold my hand instead
I was ended,
But did not know she was my start,
I meant what I said,
I am giving my whole heart,
That I was breaking when alone,
You can fix it and turn it back from stone,
I’ve been missing; now anywhere you are is where I call home.
You are the silence in the hurricane inside my mind,
You are the sense of seeing to these broken eyes born blind,
You are the electricity that woke my heart from the darkness deep beneath,
You are the words I can’t find, the meaning that I need,
You are the half of me I could not hear in my cyclone,
You are the house I long thought destroyed; now anywhere you are is where I call home.
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 9:59 AM UTC
Welcome to ‘The be all and end all’,
We ask that you end all and that all,
Is that all, Sir?
Always stuck in the loneliest place,
It’s not about where you are,
No offense it’s just your personal space,
Always been an addict of pain,
She says stop being so dramatic,
Sorry it’s just a habit,
Of being hung out to dry in the rain
Now the be all and end all is not all we have now,
The be all and end all won’t ever show you how
Taking my time, the tick-tocks are mine,
And not yours to count,
There’s a monkey sitting on my shoulder,
He’s been to space but can’t get back down,
Always getting looks from the mirror,
Changing is the risk that you take,
A stranger couldn’t look no stranger
There’s got to be something,
Someone, somewhere who can make me feel anything at all,
There’s got to be something,
Someone, somewhere that’s real
Now the be all and end all is not all we have now,
The be all and end all won’t ever show you how,
The be all and end all is not the end,
All the be all and end all’s is not all we have now,
The be all and end all won’t ever show you how,
It all ends at ‘The be all and end all’
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 8:59 PM UTC
What does it mean to be alone?
Truly on your own,
Most of the time,
We are,
You may think me a liar but I’ve got the scars,
To prove it, my storyline
Now I might be right next to you,
But you wouldn’t know, but you do,
We’re adding things up along the way,
We are,
Lucky, lucky to have got this far,
Just give me one more day
Love, I’m happy all alone,
Why won’t you believe me?
Please just don’t you leave me all alone,
I know you’ll deceive me,
So I’m happy alone,
I’m happy alone
It is what it is and we are what we are,
Bladder bursting with **** and lungs choking on tar,
Choking on air that just isn’t there,
It’s just not fair no it’s just not fair,
Getting nowhere with thinking of you,
Least in nowhere there might be something to do,
Or someone to find me lost in thinking of you,
Thinking of you and who knows who
Stupid voices, stupid choices,
Sorry I left you disappointed,
Sorry my life in the void couldn’t be avoided,
Love, I’m happy all alone,
Why won’t you believe me?
I’m happy alone
Fixate on this life I hate,
Things might change for me if only I wait,
I think I hesitated for far too long,
I don’t know where I am anymore but it all feels wrong,
I’m here in nowhere thinking of you,
Thinking of everything that we’ve not been through
But why do I feel so alone?
Truly on my own,
Because most of the time I am,
I’m Adam without Eve in the Garden of Eden,
I know what it is to be alone,
But I’m all alone so you wouldn’t know,
You wouldn’t know and so you don’t go,
Go to my little place where nobody goes
Stupid voices, stupid choices,
Sorry I left you disappointed,
Sorry my life in the void couldn’t be avoided,
Love, I’m happy all alone,
Here I am just thinking of being with you,
But being alone,
And I’m not happy
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 8:47 PM UTC