i should've known that when he said he hated the rain,
he was going to hurt me just like you did
Oct 24, 2016
Oct 24, 2016 at 12:04 AM UTC
at some point in time you saved my life.
you thought I was worth something and you promised you'd help me.
a few months later,
I feel your calloused hands on top of my own; helping me holding a gun below my chin
I see your shadow behind my body;
creeping into my skin and taking over any light that had once existed
I hear your soothing voice and steady heartbeat;
I'm home right? you always promised you'd be my home.
but you're killing me now
why are you killing me?
I tried to let go of that gun long ago but now
you're sitting here sending me sweet nothings,
easing my mind so i'll pull that **** trigger
everything changed between us months ago,
all you do now is hover in front of me,
like a ghost plotting revenge against it's murderer
*you said "I love you too **** much."*
I'm screaming,
everything is becoming dark
and the pain has become too much
so you pull the trigger.
you're yelling "this is it.
*this is the last ******* time."*
you had your eyes closed
you said "i never loved you, I never even tried to."
Jun 28, 2016
Jun 28, 2016 at 2:46 AM UTC
im looking for ways to forget you
but all I want to do is ******* text you
Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 4:43 PM UTC
It's so easy for my friends to say that I should hate you.
The only reasons coming to their minds are
because you hurt me
because you lied
because you left
You've never hit me or beat me. But your words sure do have a right hook that has left more bruises than any hands could. The colors purple and blue have made a permanent home on my body. But no one ever saw them because they weren't visible to the naked eye. You knew they were there though, you knew and you kept hurting me
You said i love you like flipping on a light switch. It was something convenient for yourself and you knew how it turned me on. If only i had known you were lying.
I placed my heart in your hands thinking it was safe. But i what didn't know was that the reason they were so warm was because they were already a home to someone else. I didn't know. So i placed it neatly against your calloused palms and kissed it goodbye. It should have been safe with you. But i wasn't entirely worried until i saw you turn and run for the nearest exit. And i didn't break down until i saw who was waiting for you behind the door. You two took my heart like you'd struck gold; you never looked back.
They say i should hate you,
for hundreds of reasons.
But the twisted thing is, i've only ever come up with thousands explaining why i should still love you.
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 12:17 AM UTC
If my father apologized,
key word being if
because there is no when...
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i love you and i know i don't say it ever but i really ******* do. you make me so proud and i can't believe you're my daughter. i get to watch you grow up, who in their right mind wouldn't want to be part of that?
i'm sorry.
i'm never there for you and we don't spend any time together and i always seem to be yelling. i've just been so tired and i'm not around all that much but, i still love you more than anything. have i said that yet?
i'm sorry.
i say i'm giving you thick skin but after i found out you wanted to die i knew my words were the things killing you. you're not a disgrace or an embarrassment and no, i don't regret you being born. i had been drinking when i said that. how could i regret you when i love you as much as i do? i should really start saying that more, huh?
i love you
i love you
i love you
i'm so sorry
if my father apologized,
key word being if
because i'm smart enough to know there will never be a when;
i hope it would sound something like that...
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 12:58 PM UTC
I've always heard that real love is putting someone else's happiness before your own
I've also heard that it's the most painful kind of love to feel;
it's hard and rough
this love reminds me of your hands in some weird way,
you saw calloused messes at the same time I saw a home for my heart
my heart and I moved in together you see
and it wasn't the roomiest of places but it was the first place I've lived in that actually felt like a real home
your happiness on the other hand was never in the same place as mine
we could sit around for hours and while I found comfort in staring into your eyes, you found ways to compare mine to your coffee
I saw my future in you
but you saw an escape route from all the pain you've been feeling from being alone too much
we were never in love,
oh no,
but we definitely could have been
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 1:01 PM UTC
I remember when I saw you hurt
I also remember how it hurt me to see you in such pain
And not the crimson streams and purples and blues etched on your skin, hurt
the kind of hurt that you thought only you felt.
But the thing is,
I understood.
I understood your pain more than I understood the back of my own **** hand
More often than not, I regret touching people because I ruin everything I touch and you were already broken enough
But for some unknown reason,
I touched you and you looked at me with only love in your eyes,
and you told me ever since we met, you began to hurt a little less
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:47 PM UTC
she left yesterday
said it would make the pain go away
because you see, she had been feeling that way for a while.
her antidepressants couldn't keep up
and her parents' negative comments were just too much.
so she made her choice
always saying that if it were to happen; it was what's best for her
she didn't even leave me a ******* note
or send me a text message
i hate myself because i never thought too much into it; we both would joke about it for ***** sake.
but no one ever ******* said that that joke would become my reality
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 12:23 AM UTC
old friendships are restarting
and people are forgiving those who actually hurt them but you cant even glance my ******* way when i walk by
i know you said it was over
but i thought after a while
your heart would ache like mine does and you'd miss me back.
its been two months
and you still haven't come around.
did you even love me?
i ******* loved you more than i thought was possible
did you even want me?
are you doing okay without me?
because i cant sleep knowing you aren't in my life anymore but it sure as hell seems like you've been sleeping better without me around
and i want to scream in your face when i see you and i want to say **** you" as much as i can
but every time work up the courage to say anything
i see you with someone new
and you laugh
and you look happy
i guess thats all i really ever wanted;
for you to be happy
but i didn't think that wanting your happiness meant cutting me out of your life
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 12:21 AM UTC