Everyday
You remind me
Of why I choose to live tonight
And not die today
You take a breath
And I do too
You take a breath
Exhale, and I taste you
We hold on to things we can’t help and we hate
We hurt at the sight of shame while losing our way
We bury our heads, we bury our dead day after day
But do we ever wonder if there’s another way?
Someday
You’ll find me
At the edge of all my hope
And in my throat not a word to say
For now let’s play
Chase me away
For now we’ll stay
Just one more day
Tomorrow I will still have so much to say to you
and when I die you’ll still try to give your love to me, too
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 2:21 PM UTC
I once laid in a bed similar to this
I had on me then a face of eagerness
A glint of some happy hope
I once went out into an open yard and swam through the sunshine as if it was the first time
I had my first smoke
For the first time I knew a dead person
And I smelled the scent of despair
I grew up, I had doubts, and I never before had felt scared
And I’ve never been more scared than I am now
Because there are rows and rows of things that I can’t find out
That I will never know
That I will never feel or do or see or be
I live a half life soon to expire
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 2:08 PM UTC
how could there ever have been a moment between us
a vast moment of perfect eternity
when you won't even look me in the eyes?
how could i have ever lied to you
and yet still act surprised when
our pathetic excuses for conversations liquify
into pools of chewed up curiosities?
i guess i wonder sometimes maybe we...i don't know, never mind
but sometimes i just hope, you know?
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 31, 2013 at 6:13 AM UTC
Sand fills ‘tween wet toes
Laughter fills the open air
Resting on the beach
The crisp autumn air
Exhales winds of pumpkin spice
Inside I am warm
Winter’s frigid chill
Reduces us to remain
Curled up by the fire
Salty ocean waves
Ebb and flow and swirl around
My heart’s distant shores
Gazing at the waves
Into the sea’s sand-strewn edge
Time starts to crumble
Sick of skipping stones
Dreamers toss rocks in glass rooms
Closer to the stars
The moon never wished
Harder on a shooting star
“Let me shine alone”
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 4:34 AM UTC
You said "stay there,
I will come for you"
"You lied", I said
I would never leave
You died, and came
To me at long last
I tried, my best
But I couldn’t keep the tears back
When you love someone so much
it hurts to ******* breathe
Your bodies coincide
inside, it's the same bad blood you bleed
We sink and then we crumble
we tremble and we tumble
And behind our blurry eyes
we wonder why it took so long to find where we belonged
If you’re missing somebody and
Tonight you have nobody’s hand
If you feel like all that’s left of you is skin, no bones
I will be your body and, I will carry you home
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 2:17 AM UTC
I felt the fear of an incoming hurricane
Fleeing from an old home
I saw nothing but trust me
I felt it all
There’s a tormented heart
Inside all of us
The waves that battered my naked body
Told me of a cold world on the other side
So I buried my feet in the sand
And I braced myself to stand
To listen to all the horrors
That we’ve become
Until my body grew numb
For the longest time I knew only shame
But shame emerged into pain
And spilled into the crevices of regret and longing
It would take a lot to change that course for
The ground we stand on sinks and trembles
It will not last and
I still have not the courage to say I’m sorry
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 1:53 AM UTC
She waited for him for hours
she lost moments of her life for him
and where was he?
he wouldn't say
She hated him for days
she lost sleep out of disgust for him
and how did he sleep?
she'd never know
She wasted away for months
she never regained her taste for cigarette smoke
or the sun beneath her skin
and what was he doing?
he couldn't even remember
But she could never forget...
She remembered her name for years
it came to her in nightmares
She remembered exactly how many tears fell
on her bruised knees from her blue betrayed eyes
She knew he didn't know the hurt
he couldn't imagine what it felt like to die
She knew that he would never know
since "he has no heart... he's not a girl"
And yet, she still found the strength inside herself
the kind of strength that's an endless blue -- a blinding white
the kind that pulsates as it expands and doesn't crackle when it hardens
She found the strength to forgive him because
She was cosmic for a minute
she was held between his arms
and where was he?
exactly where she was
She was small for a second
she was jumping from her lips to his
and what was he doing?
building a paper house inside her chest
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012 at 1:15 AM UTC
I really just want some ideas on where to go with this. Please and thanks!
A winding trail gradually tapered off into the woods
where the trees bit the hazy Autumn dusk,
branches protruding upwards
like the crooked teeth
of an aged jackal.
Fragile creatures,
the likes of birds and small rodents
dart into the dark confines of the daunting forest.
Like fleeting wisps of dry, rolling leaves they flee,
hoping to find shelter beneath the massive expanse of huddled, wilted trees, just in time before the weight of the setting sun
could fall upon their tiny heads and
extinguish the tiny capsule of air
from their little lungs
in the same way
the last flickering silvery and golden
webs of light
were extinguished from the sky,
giving an amiguity to where the horizon ended and the Heavans began.
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 2:23 AM UTC
The funeral was OK
the food afterwards was hardly any better
Dressed up in suits and black,
the stiff and uncomfortable
feeling drifted across me like
the cloud of cigarette smoke
growing outside the front doors
I wasn't prepared to deal
with the situation at hand
I always get the same old
anxieties when I come to these things
I've been to quite a few
Do I say I'm sorry?
or nothing at all?
Do I smile?
or act sad?
We arrived slightly late
so naturally
all eyes on us
...at least for the moment
Avoid eye contact. Keep walking.
Family that I hardly know,
conversations that I don't belong in
the awkwardness set in like
a slow-submerging needle,
beneath my broken skin
the injection drills in deeper
scratching me from my insides,
my hand shaking all the while
as I drive it in myself
The shame when I catch myself
taking too many glances
at the attractive cousin
or some other random gorgeous distant relative
that I never knew I had
The pressure when the immediate family stops to talk
my expression tightens
how do i feel?
my breathing malfunctions
what do i say?
I quickly recover by pointing to a
black and white photograph
purposefully placed amid the rest of the collage
on the tilted white mat board
thank God for those things
The strong men cried
the long-winded women fell silent
a baby was whining during the service
and was promptly
escorted out of the chapel
it is disrespectful, but
with the tension in the room,
who could blame him?
Dec 31, 2011
Dec 31, 2011 at 11:13 AM UTC
I think there's something wrong
with being called to from down the stairs
casually called and
instantly annoyed at the sound of her voice
this time however
she says:
Brandon
...yeah
Aunt Sherri has died
speechless
so far away
13 steps too far
rusted gears, eroded stone
even with legs like these
the message could've been delivered
now the distance has affected gravity
why am i always alone?
Dec 28, 2011
Dec 28, 2011 at 7:09 PM UTC