I woke up this morning with the strongest urge to message my brother
And I all I could think to say was, I love you so so much..
There's this fire that is inside me, almost completely burning me up
Anger, hurt, resentment, tension, anguish
And yet I can't give any of it up..
I want to yell and scream and tell him of my pain but i digress...
I repress all of this violence inside and succumb to the sadness which is all that's left
To wake with this thought is something I surely did not expect
For the last few months my life has been a wreck
Constantly shaking, with panicked breaths
I could find no comfort in where I laid my head
All. Because. Of. Him.
I was strangled in my own home by the uncertainty of his character
I was withered and had been beaten
Completely had gave up
But today my love was strong and needed an outlet
I wished only to hug him and give his hair a rub
I wished only to laugh and feel his touch
He used to be my savior, the knight in shining armor
Big brother protect me from all there is to harm me..
I needed you as a young one and there you always were
but now I find I've grown and no longer feel secure
This is just a long big rant, my feelings are unending
I just hope that someday the love I have can save you, they way it did for me
I hope to have you forever, my brother whom I need..
This cloud which has settled roughly over our roof gives me chills me day by day
These needles, and that foil a constant throw away..
My heart still steadily beating for some sort of reprieve, I find my self longing for the way our home used to be..
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 2:58 PM UTC
So here I sit,
Where we have sat,
So here I live
Where we did once,
So here it is,
I'm ready and willing
I make my spot right here and get real comfortable,
For I know it will be quite sometime before I decide to visit again
And with that thought reverberating in my head
I find myself settling into the depths
Of what we call our past
It wraps and curls around me,
hugs me tight
keeps me safe
helps me cope
I wonder what your laugh would sound like in my ears while
We sit here side by side,
The proximity alone, the chance to touch you
Sends shivers running down my spine,
But up from the ground I look to search for you
and the shivers all but run cold
As I start to shake, I fear the wake
that your death has had on my soul
No longer are you next to me
Where we have sat so many times before
No longer will you look to me
With questions I would die to answer
Only for you
No longer can we make Easter,
with baskets of fun
No longer can we make Christmas
with presents under the tree
No longer can we make Halloween
with no you and no me
So here I sit
Where we have sat
And here I cry to make my bed
Upon sheets which you have never laid..
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 2:32 PM UTC
You were on your way
I watched you kiss the stars
And I heard them say
They were taking you away
A beauty unsurpassed sacrificed by sky
Sent you there to lie
In the heavens high
A million blind stares still looking for a trace
Just to catch a glimpse of your silhouetted face
From the sun their feeble sight goes
With the vibrant color of a rose
So your holy soul we imbue
With this such mornings view
Your soul still sits upon the horizon
Angel you had made your way
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 2:32 PM UTC
I have crossed the universe
To lands you can not stay
Sauntered through the dreams of midnight
And crossed the corridors of day
I watched the stars hang their heads
As morning came to be
She tucked them away into their beds
And extinguished their misery
I took the shot with Virgo
She truely is my queen
I left her shorlty after
To smoke on dragon wings
Lightning streaks the sky
When new addictions are born
And if you drift to close
Your life will be absorbed
Not sure if I can leave
Anytime real soon
But if you catch me down
Fix me to the moon.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 2:27 PM UTC
Emotions like the fall of Rome
Sadness sits high upon the throne
Glory, grander, that slowly fade
Melancholy into the sunlight bade
From the shadows in which it hid
To rear its prideful head again
And under the coliseum lie
Life before childhood died
So discontent a simple notion
Sorrow is a lowly emotion
And aqueducts lead unto my eyes
Water flows with no reprise
For the ones who understand
The life that hangs from golden strand
Simply reverberating with discord
For into my back the knife did bore
Et tu, Brute?
Is all that can be said
Now lie my happiness dead
The ides of March so have come about
Leaving in heart and soul no doubt
That the pillars fell to rest
And joy was put to death
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 2:21 PM UTC
In a time not so long ago
When I had no hope,
Steam raising from a gleaming stream
In the middle of lavish mountains so serene,
The golden water rolled into a pond
And how it happened I do not know,
There I stood knee deep in the waters of tomorrow
I took slow steps not to disturb
the calm waters there that lie
I laid at the cool waters edge motionless as if dead
The water danced with the wind
I wished that the splendidness would never end
A gray stone in the middle of the pond, alone
Remembrance of the world, beauty all around that no one knows
The sun a redder glow, leaped across the waters low
The majestic trees caught the sun, and long did it seem to hold them
The light could not get away, there it sat and long it stayed
A place where uplifting winds forgot
No sorrow could ever be brought
A shrine to us from god, the kingly trees slowly nod
Birds from the heavens drift down to drink
The water gently ripples about their beaks
Leaves lay at rest upon the earths breast
Still and undisturbed for so long it seems to me
Only angels dance upon ground so soft
Humans find beauty and then get lost
The sun began to sink, and the waters slowly recede
Up a waterfall it traveled
I stood and ran after
but soft leaves had turned to gravel
The moon began to rise, as did the less happy skies
Ran and hid did the trees, now only houses
lay gathererd in front of me
All beauty must sleep, and sleep it did
But how I wish it would come again
In my bed I did lay long, the sounds of the forest in my head a song
And as I faded from reality I caught a glimpse
Of the golden stream of reverence
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 2:15 PM UTC
I leaned into you,
closed my eyes,
and kissed your cheek
Thinking quietly that
you
mean
the
world
to
me.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 1:55 PM UTC
And these strong
arms
encircling
my
waist,
Have carried me
through
time
to
a
safer place,
Where leisurely laying is not a sin,
Where skin to skin is not forbidden,
Where i can rest my head,
Against
the
lull
of
your
heart,
And never have to wonder,
where you are.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 1:44 PM UTC
I take my spot,
Anticipating this moment.
You watch me from the left,
My hands spring forth quickly.
Wouldn't you know it.
Bits and pieces,
Bits and pieces,
Broken away,
No longer whole.
A smile on my face,
Which can't be controlled.
Softly with the tips of my fingers,
Making sure I don't miss much..
I create a little blanket,
To wrap up all this fun.
With a flick of my tongue,
Back and forth,
Back and forth,
I'll seal it off.
Then burn all along it,
And even the ends too.
Now it's ready to hit,
So that's just what we'll do.
Tip to my mouth,
Spark to the front.
Inhale real deep,
Off this blue haze blunt.
The expansion hits me,
My lungs bend under the pressure!
My mind is at ease though,
Whispering it's pleasure!
The cloud pours out forth from me,
To dance around the room.
And to the left I pass it,
For you to consume.
Your out stretched hand meets mine,
You laugh,
Inhale,
Then smile and hold.
You tell me you're proud,
You picked a girl who could roll.
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 12:14 PM UTC
Beware the pale horse
Who rides at dawn
From the wells of sorrow
His gait was drawn
Across the plains of snow
Unto the barren field
Ceaseless can he be
He can't afford to yeild
The benifactor thus unknown
To fabricate our faith
Shall carry upon his back
All that has to wait
The still pond lies
Its whipers are obscene
The pale horse is comming
This you can believe
He's passed the ancient grove
Before we knew of love
He's rode across the meddows
And waded through the mud
With a weary head he watched
And kept the toll
With blind eyes of age
Barer of the soul
Nov 25, 2012
Nov 25, 2012 at 4:03 PM UTC