I can't wait
until looking in the mirror makes me smile
instead of cower away in shame
that my face
this vessel that carries me
gives me warmth
yet I hurt her so much
but she keeps me going
it's not fair that I treat her this way
but I can't bring myself to love her
and cherish her like I should
They said it would heal with time
but does time really heal?
or are they just trying to put a limit on how much I can wallow?
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020 at 6:53 PM UTC
staring off at the blank walls that surround me
I don't think I'll ever recover
from the nights I spent sobbing
staining the pillow with the makeup thats been left on my face for days
I don't even care anymore
the pent up rage
the anger
the disparity
I want it to leave
leave behind the empty vessel that once held a pure soul
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 6:44 PM UTC
tears stained red
god, I wish I was dead
I long to tear myself apart
to no longer be a being
I wish to disappear
into the void
for my body to become an empty vessel
for my soul to be freed
I wish for the thoughts to stop
I wish I could stop hurting myself
slicing my skin open for some sort of feeling
I wish it would stop.
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 11:48 PM UTC
the marks on my skin
scars, you say?
no
these are not scars
not battle scars to me
for me, they tell me a story,
one that gets told time and time again
because each time the story slips
it must be rewritten
retold
reborn
In some states of mind, these could be battle scars
but that is another's perception
every mark to the skin
every broken piece
every cell split open
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 7:20 PM UTC
Dazed minds
Tear stained cheeks
The result
of a broken heart
a broken mind
The ones you love
It's never enough for them
I just can't win, can I?
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 11:15 AM UTC
That feeling
Before the first sob escapes:
Body shakes
trembles
the lump in the throat
the suffocation
the complete
and utter despair
face scrunches
eyes ******* shut
the muffled noise
like everything around you disappears
And all you are left with is the sadness and bitter thought that you have no one
and you seem to never
l
e
t
it
g
o
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 9:15 AM UTC
You never know
the true meaning of grief
until you witness
someone you love
disappear.
The light of your life
suddenly is gone
and shifts your world to dark
and you're stuck
because you were never prepared for the dark
but life is like that
and sadly you had to be the light that disappeared
-to granny; I love and miss you dearly, and I hope you are not in any more pain, wherever you are.
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 5, 2018 at 8:38 PM UTC
Why is it
that you cross my mind
even when I thought I had
gotten over you
those old feelings
seem to resurface
even when I tried to suppress them
Something about you
reels them back in
leaving me broken inside
because I know
I could never have you
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 7:47 PM UTC
As much as I hate
this pain inside
I'm like a drug addict:
Even if I try to stop
I always fall back
Relapse
come back for more
for that feeling
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 7:44 PM UTC
the sweet taste lingers
I can still feel you on the tips of my fingers
I can't get you out of my mind
you're all I seem to find
even after all this time
I still find myself coming back to you
like a heinous crime
but I never reach your field of view
even if I wanted too
you would never see me
for I just can't find the words
so I end up blue
while thinking of you
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 8:39 PM UTC