Don't make my love in a factory on a cold assembly line
cutting all the corners of my heart just to rush it out on time
Don't sell my love in a fancy store dressed up in the front display
bought and sold and taken home, and in boredom packed away
Don't cast my love on a tv show as violence, fame, or food,
worth nothing more than the ratings brought that decide if it'll be renewed
Instead
Make it under the sun, let the wildlife play and see
let it touch the thoughts of calm the earth has ever dreamed
work through the night, so it can meet the dark
and learn that life is more than a single work of art
Feb 23, 2023
Feb 23, 2023 at 1:10 PM UTC
The first time I loved
reminded me of the first time I smelt lavender
it touched the tip of my nose, so unexpected, yet so soft
drawing me into its source, the purple splendor
That’s how I remember our love, as a violet sky
A sight only present in the sunsets of our dreams
My nose bathed in the aroma
And for the first time, I felt fresh, pure, and clean
but it faded
the sweet scent of your love
and the fainter it became, the harder I tried to reach it
I thought it was the wind carrying it away
And so I followed the breeze
But it was lost, my nose was blind
and the flower was all that remained
comforting, Delicate, vibrant
yet not enough
oh what a fool I was
wanting magic and wasting life
I left the garden
In search of what I lost
Not knowing what I had found
because whether or not I could swim in its aroma
that flower rose to meet me each day, its petals full and its color deep
seeking to bless me with its beauty and grasp me in its care
hoping it would find me there, to protect it, keep it, and honor it
I hate to imagine the sadness, when I could no longer be found
now today, I only wish I knew where I first found it
so I could return
and though I’m sure that the scent would strike my heart again
this time I would stay
for I know now, that on the other side of the smoke screen
true beauty is waiting
I so hope that no one has picked her
yet I would not blame them if they did
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 16, 2019 at 12:44 AM UTC
The first break of thunder that strikes our minds
the once drifting eyes now fixed on the sky
as static attracts the rest from our reach
we lay in flashes of dark, just waiting for peace
but as for myself
I rather prefer that violent crashing sound
than the silence which creeps and nightly abounds
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 2:04 PM UTC
I saw you on the shore, waving back at me from a far
Goodbye my love, goodbye forever
Forever, I thought, what a terrible thing
With tears in my eyes, please don’t let it be
May your love be the lighthouse that guides me home
When I am old and grey, and time has gone
When the chains have fallen from my hands
And freedom has given me hope that I may hold you again
Because our love was never in our faces or in our bodies
It was in our eyes
When I looked into yours, and you looked into mine
We saw beyond ourselves, and became one
This picture of you I carried with me all those years
Was only enough to remind me of your spirit
for every time I looked in the eyes of your painted image
I saw only hazel
and I felt so alone
but now as I live these seconds slow
not knowing when I will go
the picture that became a fleeting mystery
has taken on flesh, and become real once more
and after so long, and such pain
you stand before me on the shore
drawing me in to a face and body I no longer know
with hope and fear I look into your eyes
And again at last I see
The home
and the love
that forever, I’ve known
Jul 29, 2018
Jul 29, 2018 at 3:21 PM UTC
Your words won’t set you free
Nothing that springs forth from this earth can save you
Only grace can save us
The grace we’re all searching for
The reason we watch movies
The reason we play games
The reason we lose ourselves in music
To find ourselves, to find the part of us that calls out
for more, for some adventure, some joy, some fight
Living someone else’s life
Their journey, their dream, their love
Filling ourselves with their story
But the screen always goes dark
The pages run out of words
And the music fades
And for one brief moment in-between all the sound
were left with ourselves
completely alone
completely empty
wishing that we could be
the stories we know
and so, we pretend, invest, and consume
trying to live the life we love and desire
trying to become what we are not
by denying who we are
All this world does is try to distract us
Try to give us another life to live
Away from the ones we hate
And as time passes it all becomes more and more real
the falseness of the lives we live only become more convincing
I’m so tired of living out the lives of other people
so tired of not facing the emptiness
I don’t want to fight it anymore with movies, music and games
I want to become something real
I don’t want to hate work or school or pain
I want to embrace it, fight it, and overcome
Because that’s what they do in the stories we see
They fight the darkness inside themselves and in the world
And that’s what we want to do, why else would we watch them
But were to weak
Too weak and too feeble to stand up for ourselves
And I don’t mean against the bullies at school
I mean the bullies in our minds, the ones that keep us from our dreams
You know that moment after the story ends
Where they live happily ever after
We never get to see that part do we
Because I’m sure everyone that’s made it there
Who’s won the fight and finished the race
they’re all too busy being caught up in the love and the joy
to come back and tell us about it, to come back and teach us
why do we feel so broken and empty after stories of such strong emotion?
Whether it ends in love or pain
not because they create that feeling in us
but because they draw out what’s already there
the anger, sadness and the emptiness that we’ve denied
all the junk we’ve thrown in the closet
they only ever open the door to send it bursting forth
littering these hearts of ours that seemed so clean
making us ashamed of all we’ve hidden
only to pick up the pieces and hide them all over again
well I’m tired of hiding everything behind closed doors
this time I’m going to set it loose myself
get rid of what doesn’t belong
go work for what I need
and find what I’ve been looking for
but was too scared to face
become something real
love, fight, struggle
be saved
oh God
please
give me the grace
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 10:40 PM UTC
This grove,
I’ve been here before many times
So green, pure and warmly serene
It feels so right to be here, so good
Yet, somethings missing from this place
I’m sure its been here many times before
But every time I arrive
It seems I’ve just missed it
And all that’s left are the remnants
Footprints in the soft grass
Elegant, effortless, peaceful
The sweet smell in the air
Vibrant, free, joyful
And echoes of a song
pure, clear, and serene
I run hopefully into this grove each day
And when the spirit of this place flows through me
the flowers rise and reach for the sky
so beautiful, so full of life
but when I see she’s gone away
and again, I’m too late
the flowers fall back into the earth
and wait
wait
for that moment
the moment when we both arrive
and all the hope I’ve ever had is met
eye to eye
heart to heart
and soul to soul
the moment when all the mystery, all the waiting
and all the hopeful, missed chances come to truth
the day that I run into this grove and find her there
not leaving, not fading, but staying, remaining
I don’t know what ill say, what ill do or how ill be
But I do know
that all those flowers that only ever rose to fall
they’ll stand up
straight, strong, bright and tall
and they’ll stay.
But it would seem today is not that day
Again her presence slipped past me as I entered this grove
So for now ill just sit here in stillness
gaze at the peaceful way she walked,
breath in the fragrance of the joy she left in the air,
watch the flowers as they rise and fall
and sleep as I listen to the echoes of this song
Ill sit here and bask in these wonderful remnants as they fade
Always returning to wait in hope for that fateful day
And maybe the next time she arrives as I have gone
She’ll sit down
look at the footprints
Smell the air
Watch the flowers
And listen to my song
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 3:23 PM UTC
Sometimes I try to write
But the only word on my lips is love
And I just want to write it a million times over
And then read it twice as many
Not because I’m in love
Or because I long for it
But because for some strange reason
My soul wont stop saying it
And no matter how long and how hard I try
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 10:23 PM UTC
there’s more out there
more to everything
I know it, I feel it, I long for it
To have it and hold it in fullness
Not for just a short second to have it fly away
Like a feather in the wind
The trees are hiding it in their roots
The ocean is hiding it in the waves
The sky is hiding it in the clouds
The earth is hiding it in the mountains
And God is keeping it hidden inside of me
I cant see It but I know its there
For I have felt its fleeting presence
In dreams
Music
Art
What is the emptiness that takes us after we see hear and feel something wonderful
After it ends
I don’t believe in temporary
I don’t believe in a rush that ends
A plant that dies
A beauty that is destroyed
An innocence that is lost
There is something out there
A deep indescribable something
Waiting for me to take hold of it
A constant force that breathes likes my lungs
Beats like my heart
And lives like my soul
An all encompassing
Never ending
Unbreakable
Incomprehensible
Peace
That is what is waiting for me
Oh my soul how it groans
How it pains and aches
How it cries out from within me
Asking for sweet release
Each day growing louder
Stronger
And more painful
all for this
I want more
No, I need more
I need more or I die
I need more or there is no point
I need more or there is no purpose
I need more or there is no sense
No sense to anything I do
I must live a life that is more
And if I do not
Then I am ruin
My passion is lost
And I have failed the call of my heart
Lord, let me be more
Or let me die
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 10:09 PM UTC
I love you like a single drop of rain
The ones on cloudless days
The ones you never expect
Of all the places I could fall
I fell into your hands
And you looked up and wondered
where could that have come from
but I looked down and sighed
where could I ever go
but into your hands
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 9:52 PM UTC
Oh I am tired of soft words
I want to yell and scream and curse
I want my heart on the wind
Not inside my foul chest
All my thoughts and pains
Pressed in, pushed down and falling over
Struggling to find space to rest
like a subway with no exits
the panicked mothers’ child cries for all to hear
with no one kind enough to let her sit
and comfort the innocent cries of her babe
the constant chatter and commotion
of all the people, and all the languages
so many words said
and so few understood
the pushing, shoving and pulling
all for the golden prize that has become the seat
if only to sit and rest
all my thoughts and pains
warring for a place to sit
but there is no place
there are only the doors
the doors which never open
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 9:26 PM UTC