You are my worst heartbreak,
the one I talk about the most;
The one I didn’t have,
but wish I hadn’t lost.
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 12:45 PM UTC
I lost count of the nights you waste just reconnecting the stars
and retracing the steps you took that led you to where you are now.
You are here, with me.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you are here, with me.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you are crying,
and you are here, with me.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and never have I wanted to
dig your flesh so badly, to see if you still had it in you.
To see if you’re still as strong as the woman who
dismembered me that night I saw her crack a smile.
Never have I wanted to fall apart.
But now, you crave for love like the flowers
I carelessly planted in our backyard,
"you’re the worst gardener," you said.
and you were right.
Still, you loved me just the same;
you loved me all too well.
you loved loving more than the gods
loved reminding me to be gentle and kind.
I tried loving you just as much.
I really did.
But now, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning
and you are here with me and you are crying,
like an empty vessel waiting,
wanting to be filled.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning,
and you are here with me,
and you are crying,
and you are empty,
forgive me.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:31 AM UTC
Hello, Summer
you kiss my tears away,
just to leave me for the day.
Hello, Summer
the way you held my hand;
your thumb circling mine,
and all our little trip
from one train station to another;
and theater number six;
how could I not fall for those eyes?
Hello, Summer
if you love me, please tell me;
if you don’t, don’t give me reasons
to stay.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
Build my hopes up—
taller than those
buildings that set
themselves apart
from the sky;
And when I see you
in the morning, I would
tell you I love you;
I would tell you
how I've fallen so hard
from the tower you've
built entirely for me
that I could barely stand
on my own, and that
your cure would be
the only thing I need
in this world where
cures would often count
as a step closer
to one’s death;
and you would refuse,
like how you always do.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
Stop. Stop it right there.
It’s for the best that you’re not here at all.
It’s for the best that you won’t call me anymore.
It’s for the best that distance would grow like
flowers in between our souls.
You see, I fell for you,
the moment you said my name.
How could you not have seen that?
How could you not have figured it out?
From that moment, and from this very moment,
right here, where we stand;
And the in-between, from the reckless kisses
you planted like time bombs ticking against my skin;
I’ve mistaken them for flowers and light feathers;
they seemed so innocent as your blank stares,
but never have I been so wrong.
And the drunken poetry I left bare before you?
Like my skin you thought you rightfully owned?
How could you not have fallen for my honest words?
And then somebody told me, but not soon enough;
you kissed another girl, but this time
the kisses weren't time bombs, with the intention
of destructing a heavy heart;
This time, with her, the kisses were gentle;
They were pure. And knowing you,
you don’t always speak the truth.
And then you asked me last night,
"Do you love me?" I said no,
not at all; well, I love you, yes.
But I love everyone.
That makes us both liars, then.
So stop, please, stop it right there,
How many lies do you have
hidden like sharp blades
beneath your tongue?
Because I already ran out of excuses
not to love you in the morning,
And I might not make it through the night.
At least let me make it through the night.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:29 AM UTC
I wish I scraped my knees for the times I would care,
for the times I would wonder if you’re already home,
safe and sound, just watching your favorite show.
I wish my nose bled for the the times I would miss you,
when I check my phone or my email, hoping you’d ask
how I've been doing, when you barely care at all.
I wish I get wounded for the times my heart would
skip a beat whenever you say hello,
whenever you ask me to hang out with you,
whenever you hold my hand, whenever you kiss me,
whenever you look me in the eyes, and tell me
you love me, because we both know what it means.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
That word haunts me all the time, you see.
Like an unwanted visitor banging at my door
at 2 o’clock in the morning.
And the truth is, my head has gotten
the hang of it; it mastered every ounce of hurt
until it got used to the sound of your heart
beating for another, a broken symphony,
the saddest serenade.
but my heart hasn't.
It keeps on coming back to you,
no matter how often you break me.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:28 AM UTC
Darling, I know,
I’m nowhere near perfection,
I’m as far from it as
the stars are from the sea—
I break my bones,
I even scrape my knees—
But still, would you be
kind enough to hang with me?
Darling, I’m nowhere
near happy, I’m as sad as the songs
I’ve been playing endlessly;
But still, would you be kind enough
to be lonely for a while, along with me?
Darling, you could be cruel,
leave me in the morning
without any warning;
But for tonight,
just stay with me.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:26 AM UTC
I guess I’ll never know
what makes the three letters
of your name seem so special
that they make my heart
skip numerous beats
whenever I see them
all around me—
carved on trees,
posted on walls,
I’d act as if it was a call-
that somewhere, somehow,
you miss my aching soul.
And I’d carefully write you down,
spilling ink on any paper—
as if you were a prayer
I’ll never learn to speak.
All you are
is what makes me
want you more,
all you are
is radical.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:26 AM UTC
If you were a flower
I wouldn’t mind staring at you
from time to time, and watch
you grow, and maybe
shed a few petals;
for I know you’ll still
remain as lovely as can be.
If you were a flower
I wouldn’t pick you up
and see you slowly die
in my arms; I would let you
be, just like how your
smile was made for
the world to see—
"here I am, here I am,
you belong with me.”
If you were a flower
and if I were a butterfly;
I’d stay away, as far as
possible; for I know
I wouldn't be bold enough
to come closer,
nearer, nearer;
to know if you would need me
just as badly as I need you.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:25 AM UTC
I thought if I remembered you often,
I’d get you out of my system-
like how the trees shed their leaves
once autumn arrives right at my doorstep;
But never have I been so wrong in my life.
I looked at the mirror this morning to find you
still clinging to my frame as if you were a part of me;
your fingers still caressing my hair,
your smell still hanging in the air;
your lips still pressed against mine;
your smile's still imprinted at the back of my mind.
a thousand miles away, you haunt me still.
you’re still everywhere.
leave me alone.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 6:25 AM UTC