my eyes grow paler each day,
ive watched enough time pass,
two orbs, complete with a sky,
forests, creeks, and mountains,
the life contained within the body
was stored in the soil, behind our
eyes, there is a day that I hope to come,
I just need another day.
attached, captivated even, by
rosescaled gums, it isn't bone,
it's pulp, rattling in your mouth,
ricocheting off one another;
with all of this kinetic energy,
one could move a landscape,
the forests are your intestines,
plural and cavernous, every tree
is a member of one body
One body, lost at sea, never seemed
to find the peace that it set out to see
These are just two pieces of my body,
why do they remember everything?
Aug 12, 2023
Aug 12, 2023 at 3:33 AM UTC
people speak to hear themselves think,
there are no more conversations,
no more characters to play
I am an actor wearing out my grief
between the lines that barricades fatigue,
I cannot be tired if I wish to produce,
such is the waking nightmare of grief,
which renders feeling a commodity, a production
profitable in utility, as if “use” ever was real
with my ancestors as guardian angels, I am guaranteed to fall
into addiction, whether it be coffee and its ability to temporarily
halt grief, or when it’s midday and life wanes as if it were framed,
As if empowerment of the businesses through the destruction of my body
justifies the tears forming the empty warzones of childhood memory,
My writing is power and the corruption of
inner-peace, invaluable until the end,
indivisible until I’m bleeding out, begging for mercy
My tears, damp with grief, can finally crash
into the earth
Another labor of love gone unpaid
Aug 9, 2023
Aug 9, 2023 at 8:59 PM UTC
imagine that you're space music
fast asleep, amidst a gentle swarm of piano keys:
A twisting void of everything you know
I, We forgot to give these words intentions
because dreams started to unravel us,
these open sores in outer space bleed a dream:
connect to the world using the diseases in our brain, spill onto the world
a chemical that does not fade across lightyears, not a poison, but I am blue in the face
from screaming at myself in my bathroom mirror, the “I” that does not dream, but
chokes me all the same.
re- asphyxiation
the voice that comes out of my throat regurgitates symbols that sound pretty,
but are only reflections of meaning, so that every word must be sick to its stomach, throwing
up, because the other I hasn’t forgiven me yet
do you ever feel like
your non-apparent body
reduces your state of being?
I feel like a ‘would’ chip.
my body reduced to half a heart, blood of thorns,
On my “knees” doing “back-breaking” work that requires me
to perform an autopsy on myself. Instead,
I curb-stomp it against the sidewalk and clench my jaw,
wondering how to dream a little bigger.
I’m not murderer, though you might charge me with heresy as I stick “my” fingers down
my throat, the middle and index, and bring back the dead from still-born memories drifting
through Space.
by never living in the first place, imagining that I is alive is simple;
pain seeps into my skin from the bile that I’ve slathered myself in.
If I were on earth, it would hurt more.
My writing takes up Space,
Allows me to breathe again,
convincing me that I am not just keys,
but an orchestra, a sound symphony
other times, it deludes
me into trying to make any noise at all
in the vacuum of what “I think”.
I can't keep exploding
for another million years,
when will this half-life end?
lost in a body I can't remember,
dreaming took the weight off of answering
to questions that appear timeless
I’ve always dreamed of being human. At every Birthday party I didn’t have because no one
would come, every time I cried myself to sleep, every time someone died and came back,
“I” thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be better in a world without feeling?”
Everything has already exploded,
now, I am the last to go
What would writing be but the body of everything you wish to dream?
Aug 9, 2023
Aug 9, 2023 at 8:52 PM UTC
my body anti-matters,
a plane of forgotten space parted
at my hips, my jaw dragging behind me
like the trail of tears climbing my sunlight.
fallen into disrepair,
begging God to **** the belief
that I can go on like this
my body weighs in,
"Would you drown for salvation?"
One day, I looked into the mirror, glassy-eyed
Turned my back on my body,
who can't pick his battles,
"You are chapped lips. You are yellow yelling teeth. One day, you're going to wake up,
choking on unexplored territory."
I went to sleep, screaming all the way down.
Where was "I"?
At the very bottom of my throat
was a boy who wasn't me, but what I did.
knuckles-deep in my throat, while yelling
"5 TIMES, 13 TIMES, 22 TIMES WITH NO END IN SIGHT"
he couldn't breathe in the still air,
but he's still waiting for a response.
If only he'd come out when I was there.
instead, he can't smile like he did before.
"He should've drowned in absurdity, shoveling painkillers down his maw with
a glass-half-empty of bile to wash away the tears."
from below, we are both screaming.
This time, my carcass and I agree,
One day I'll be consumed, but I'll savor it.
Dear God, up in heaven,
give me your blessing to eat this boy,
so that he doesn't die a prisoner,
but is consumed all the same.
Aug 9, 2023
Aug 9, 2023 at 8:51 PM UTC
I wake up every morning with a headache,
My mouth, an outlet for the bitterness,
Enthralled by the peeling tragedy that is
Ingesting enough caffeine to forget how to write
I am well-oiled, a glutton of efficiency,
Pour that Venti down my throat, I’ll still be hungry
Last year, Starbucks made $32B from selling gasoline,
Today, the hand of Productivity choked the life out of me.
I am no addict, it’s not one of those drugs,
One day, everything I want to achieve
Will be governed by the dopamine released
When my poems earn their weight in caffeine
20 ounces of labor later and I am tired,
I douse myself so that I can ignite the hearts
of the people becoming automated machines,
Self-driving, Self-Sufficient, and Self-Destructive
Aug 9, 2023
Aug 9, 2023 at 8:50 PM UTC
I do eat people
sometimes, they escape
they knock at the door
impatiently tapping my
the oak wood, their feet
humming a tune
that is completely,
utterly empty
I am locked up in the mad house
and for good reason too
When I let people in,
I close the door
When you step through
the doorway
I
Can't
Wait
any longer.
Sep 10, 2022
Sep 10, 2022 at 5:38 PM UTC
This precious little dream
Stays tucked away in silence
I'm listening to my heart beat
I think its a little slow and jittery
Then something slips out of my pocket
My eyes widen and I go blind
Warmth began to surround me
Heat holds my hand and dives below
It's drowning out my reality
I scream "I'm sorry" and let it go
The locket is on the ground and open
It was never about what you could see
Feb 14, 2022
Feb 14, 2022 at 3:59 AM UTC
I'm crushed under the universe
Caved in by the earth
My thoughts are opaque
The embers rise and awake
My soul is kindled by hate
Disguising waves as siege
and rapture as higher belief
I will take what they breathe
Lungs collapse under pressure
Thoughts escape me entirely
I was lost in a deep sea
Then cinders became steam
Regret built up by ideas
Creating your demise
Where consciousness goes
when it wants to dive
Power at the end of my fingertips
Blood boiling and veins disconnect
String of minds began to intertwine
with everything exhausted but alive
I start to fracture and break
Every fragment began to burn
Their words wrapped my bones
Reality shuddered as rage was born
The ground quaked with fear
Magnitudes driven by resent
The shake of the world
Reminding us how scared it's been
Wrath spun out of me like a storm
Crashing down with thunderous force
My eyes torrential judgement
on all of those who could stand before
Meteors shower from the heavens
Leaving their will rack and ruined
Divine justice came to pass
Pervade with brutal execution
Nov 1, 2021
Nov 1, 2021 at 9:58 PM UTC
It smells like grass
Way above the atmosphere
We're playing on clouds
Its all so clear
Let me see you
Lift me off the ground
All my fears are disappearing
On the Lovers' merry-go-round
Spend the night sky with me
Take my hand, together let's be forever
I'll hold you close, we're a constellation
Every moment is a new sensation
Put your hand on my chest
Can you hear the butterflies
Let the moon shut our eyes
I've never felt so alive
Utter elation
Lead me to salvation
I'm dream walking
My hearts been taken
Look at the time
We've slept into the morning
Watch me decompress
I can breathe in with meaning
The sun is above us now
Our spotlight has come out
Tomorrow is a new day
You should bring over your lips,
We can forget what we were going to say
Goodbye now
I hope I see your smile soon
Before I get ahead of myself
It's not even noon
May 21, 2021
May 21, 2021 at 12:34 AM UTC
I'm a candle
Set me ablaze
It's quiet
I know you'll cave
A drop of water
Plummeting to its death
Shadows scream and chant
Draw your last breath
Step after step
It's not getting closer
One moment I'm here
Sometimes I'm not so sure
I've lost track of time
There was a scream
The voice of an angel
Tearing at the seams
A vision of light
Begs me to decay
It takes two to tango
Only one can be saved
Eyes of fury, the first woman
Wrapped in skin, draped with rage
She choked on words, fell to a crawl
Held me close, told me it's my fault
Towers built of sin fall to pieces
I'm chasing after my lungs
Build me up and watch me die
I'm the butcher of goodbyes
Aspect of chaos stuck in glass
Scented of generations past
I had legs, knew where to stand
Before me was the folly of man
Time after time
He follows his dream
As above, so below
It's not what it seems
May 17, 2021
May 17, 2021 at 12:04 PM UTC