These days i brush my teeth early,
I look at myself in the mirror,
But I can’t see clearly.
My eyes look bloodshot and black,
But I feel the best and worst i’ve felt.
Jul 23, 2023
Jul 23, 2023 at 1:25 AM UTC
one little spider fell on my leg
I smacked him off then I said
"Did you nibble?
Did you bite?"
he said no
just kissed you goodnight
:)
Jul 23, 2023
Jul 23, 2023 at 1:25 AM UTC
geese soar
as if they
have nothing
to wor ry about
they just
fly in
the shape
of a
V
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 8:44 AM UTC
eyes are dripping like gutters after the rain
hands are shaking like an addict's
breaths are short and fast like someone who ran a race
mind is stu-stu-stuck like a br-broken record
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 8:38 AM UTC
breathe. in. out.
what do you see?
computer-ruler-pen-calculator. sticky note. sticky note.
desk.
bag. chair.
what else do you see?
person-person--person---person----person.
who?
i don't know.
where are you?
does it matter?
who are you?
i forgot.
what are you?
disassociating.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 2:44 PM UTC
one hundred days and nights
i want to spend with you
my love, my friend,
i want nothing more
than to see you grow
and become the man
i always knew you could be
right now it seems pointless
that you're stuck inside this loop
but don't fret, my friend, as t is helping you.
one hundred poems and songs
i grant and give to you
as you are my love
and my world belongs to you
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 8:57 AM UTC
ask yourself
this one
question?
who do you love?
the sun, the sky?
perhaps the trees
fill you with joy.
maybe it's your
baby sister's
laugh as she plays
make-believe.
who do you love?
not the people,
nor the animals,
but what about the
feelings in the air?
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 8:51 AM UTC
while I may no longer show signs of exhaustion
it is good to note that I am filled with desperation
to sleep, or even better, leave for hibernation
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 8:46 AM UTC
He didn't like my smile, he liked my mouth. He wanted me to use my mouth to his advantage and he wanted me to make him feel good. He would do anything for it, he pinned me down. I was sweating and I was afraid. He took me to the lake and tried again there. I ran home in the rain, which was a 45 minute walk without a jacket.
I met another. His girlfriend wanted to be my friend but didn't know how he felt about me. She yelled at him and made him think he needed to give her more. More money, more kisses, more speech. She figured out he loved me. Him and I talked often, he told me what he wanted from me. I slept over, and I knew what was coming but I didn't care. If someone loves me, I loved them back because that's the way my stupid brain works. I should have known that he didn't like my smile, he liked my thighs. We got what we wanted but I stopped him when it became too much. The next day he told his girl a lie that made him seem to forget what really happened, which I later told his girl but she didn't belive me. Nobody did. I was trying to break them up because he liked me and I told him that his girl was abusing him but no, women can't be abusers.
I lost friends because they didn't believe me because I am just like that, making up stories so people will feel bad for me, because I'm not allowed to have my own opinions even though my being trans lets me see the struggles of both men and women.
Nightmares and frights and getting away from myself because I know that when people see me, they see me as weak and usable and a good way to get off once or twice. I'm vulnerable.
They didn't like my smile, they liked my body.
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
My nightmares of that evening in January
rerun in my mind like an overplayed television series.
rerun in my mind like a broken record.
rerun in my mind like an intrusive thought.
rerun in my mind like an itch that won't go away.
rerun in my mind
rerun in my mind
rerun
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 8:47 PM UTC