i think this is fate, how we ended up meeting halfway. when i entered your bedroom for the first time my heart couldnt stop telling me ive seen this place. ive seen your face, ive seen your soul, this is de ja vu we have done this all before. i have looked for you in every love ive ever known. i have been searching for so long. i had given up and let my heart turn to stone, but then here you are. with your blue kyanite irises. i fall into your bed & fall into you & cease to worry about what time it is. what time is it? everything has gone silent. i am a constant contradiction, a tangling of wires. i am a god ****** forrest fire & i turn to ashes everything i touch. yet here you are in the midst of the flames feeding the fire & at the same time soaking it up. this is love. this is fate. i have seen this all before thats how i know none of this is fake.
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 6:18 PM UTC
Darling, you think deeply. You hold onto the wrongdoings of others so you can convince yourself you do no harm. Its quite the opposite love. Your hands are stained with blood as are mine. Your wrists run red and leave trails of white, all healed but still staring up at you in reminder of a time you wanted to feel numb. When you've run out of excuses why you haven't come back to me yet, just come, and I will be here.
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 7:55 PM UTC
If you're going to take her from me, there are a few things you should know.
She likes her drinks with straws, even when she's not wearing any lipstick.
She is stubborn about the way she holds someones hands, it's funny.
She likes to be held close with no space in between never loosely draped over.
She will curse your name and wish you away but she's really only asking you to come back and stay.
When she thrashes in her sleep at night, its the demons chasing her again.
You have to gently wake her and tell her she's safe and tuck her back in.
Her love is better than crank.
I remember kissing her and feeling spunt for days and days and days.
And God **** it if you're going to take her from me for all that it's worth, just stay.
Because I didn't and that was my biggest ******* mistake.
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 16, 2015 at 6:36 PM UTC
even life in all it's grandeur
simply can not mask
the overwhelming feeling
of hopelessness that washes over me
when I think of
you
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 16, 2015 at 3:38 AM UTC
& I think if you could flip through every page in my notebook from the last couple years, you'd see.
You'd see just how dreadful it is to be me.
How can you expect me to be perfect when I'm still in shambles from the past two lovers?
I can see that youre trying your best to glue me back together, but it's useless.
& so am I.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 2:43 AM UTC
There were moments when I didn't have anyone else. Not even myself, but I had you.
There were hours when the sunlight would burn the day away & I couldn't survive the cold of night.
There were days when I had nothing to say yet all the right words would flow from your lips like ocean waves.
There were weeks when my bones were stiffening & the sight of my scars were sickening.
There were months when I didn't care for watching myself bleed & a blade was non existent to me.
Through all the moments, hours, days, weeks & months I haven't even had a whole year with you but I know its you that I want.
& if I could count back every second & turn back the clocks I'd do it all over again with you, from rock bottom to the very top.
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 3:05 AM UTC
I am so anxious and paranoid that you'll leave me
I'll never hold another pair of hands if you do
If I can't die I won't be able to endure the emotions that devour me when I see you
All I do is sit in this cardboard box of a room & let the rain rot away the roof
& When memories, photographs, letters & words are all that remain
There is no hiding the truth
I am endlessly, unconditionally, helplessly in love with you
I never knew what it felt like to lose composure & then you said its over
Then, I knew
The reality of the situation hit me in the stomach like a ton of bricks
& Here I am on my knees again, beaten & bruised
Begging for you, like I always do
Like it makes any difference in the way you'll look at me afterwards
Like it makes any difference at all, I live to please you
My brain is rotting like the roof on this cardboard box of a room
My heart is stopping because I feel like I'm losing you
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 4:04 AM UTC
you turned everything around
like starry days & sunny nights
like I'm leaving footprints on clouds
& the sidewalk is in the sky
the birds learned how to breathe underwater
& all the fish learned how to fly
everything is anything but normal
& I need to make things right
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 2:32 AM UTC
I think that just the right amount of sunlight
can make anything look beautiful
that is, if you have the eyes for it
& lately im not sure anymore
I dont know if I belong here or there
I dont feel like I belong anywhere
besides in your arms
& back to the point I began with
the right amount of sunlight
came in this morning through the blinds
& shined itself right across your beautiful face
I got to watch you before you were even awake
Ive never found it so easy to smile
I wondered what im worth to you today
would you search for me, would you **** would you pay?
because for you, I would walk to the ends of the earth
there isnt anything in the universe that youre worth
because baby,
youre priceless.
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013 at 4:22 AM UTC
Its the small things. Like the way I catch myself staring at you the same way a child stares at something unfamiliar & strange. I could use the same words to describe you & they would reign true but in all reality there are no words deserving of describing the love I have for you.
Its the small things like the way I just noticed that February is right around the corner. This could be my second chance to rekindle the flame I tried to make (in the rain) when I was too far away. But until then I'll keep you warmly wrapped in every sweater I own. The ones that you keep strewn about your room. & if your room wasn't messy & scattered (like my brain) it wouldn't feel like home.
Baby its the small things like the way you sleep by my side on Friday nights & how I've got your portrait framed & hanging in my mind. Its starting to get colder now & I'm just figuring out that the only thing that matters is you & I. The world around us is irrelevant & played out. I could take you away, let me take you to a place where
Its all the small things that make you see, you & I, that's a forever thing.
(letters to her)
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 3:46 AM UTC