had i known
this misery
would cause me
in deep pain
i wouldn’t have loved
anyone
for anyone wouldn’t have loved me
the way i would
Jun 5, 2022
Jun 5, 2022 at 10:00 AM UTC
You we're my sunshine
But then I remembered that the sun doesn't just shine for one person.
Jul 7, 2020
Jul 7, 2020 at 3:52 PM UTC
i.
I intentionally failed to wish you
a happy birthday this year,
though I know significant dates,
hours, moments, people,
by heart.
I still search for you in boys
I mistake for bandages,
the ones with eyes almost
the same shade of your hazels,
lips resounding your laughter,
resembling a wisp of your smile,
But they aren't you.
ii.
Sometimes I pretend you're dead,
because it's less painful
to stop reaching out into voids.
iii.
My mom still blames you
for everything that preceded that year.
Though you probably had no idea what happened
when we stopped talking altogether.
Can you believe it's almost been three years?
iv.
My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away'
Though, I'm pretty sure he knows
it's you.
v.
Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath?
How most everything she wrote
brimmed with melancholy?
How I loved every single word?
Especially that piece
where she talked about expectations
and disappointments.
You'll never know that
up to this day I still think
people are selfish enough to
always, eventually turn into the latter.
Even you.
vi.
It's sad I never got the chance
to tell you about Ted.
How she loved him so much,
she just had to figuratively dive headfirst
into the flames-- burning herself,
what was left of her--
after she found out
he never really loved her
the same way
she loved him
in the first place.
vii.
*truth is,
some of us
never learn to accept
the love we think we deserve.*
viii.
I don't know if you still read my poems
or if you still think about me,
about us, sometimes.
Every time you fall asleep past eleven,
a part of me hopes you do.
because I always remember you--
in birthday candles, red ribbons,
off-tune voice records, golden arches,
concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes,
the last flickers of city lights
softly fading out of the blue.
I remember you
in everything, in everywhere,
in everyone.
It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget.
No matter how much I just want to forget.
I want to forget.
But, how could I?
When forgetting means forsaking
the very memory of you.
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 6:27 AM UTC
"I'm an open book"
She says
Written in
code.
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 16, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
i've run out of poetry,
and now all i'm left with
is gray.
gray surroundings,
gray people.
i'm lost in a world
that's lost in itself.
i can't find the words
to even say what i'm feeling,
because all i see is confusion
staring right back at me.
i'm in a room full of mirrors,
my own reflection
not appearing
because i've lost myself
in the depths of my thoughts.
someone,
please find me,
someone, anyone,
i'm gasping for air
that's not even there.
no one understands,
yet you're all here to listen.
there's only one problem.
i can't find the words-
i've run out of poetry.
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 9:43 AM UTC
tore myself in two
put on a show for you
the taste of your lips
i hunger for one more kiss
a table for two
only one thing left to do,
you.
we're just a bunch of nobodies
partnership of two wannabes
just a great hyperbole
pathetic in actuality
we’re going no where
we’re bound to tear
i love the recklessness of it all
and fall when you call me your baby doll
id gladly throw myself off a cliff for you
perhaps its time to bid my adieus
but wheres the fun in saying my goodbyes
when i could stay, and let you multiply my butterflies
take from me until i can no longer give
until i forget how to live
forget how to live independently
but i need not worry, you promised me an eternity
and so i trust you with my everything
and you will forever be my king
of this soul, of this body
you’re my new hobby
and perhaps it is unhealthy,
but you’re the only one who loves me correctly
and i could care less
so ill stress, obsess, caress
until there is nothing left of us
just a ceramic jar of ash and dust
and our fates and fingers are intertwined
and you’re confined, all and only mine.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 11:02 AM UTC
do you ever re-read my words?
do you ever find yourself
flipping through old pages,
clicking through old poems
just to get a taste of my soul?
i see you sitting there, deep in thought.
are you craving my poetry?
i'm sure you're wishing you could visit me in the galaxies
i made for you,
take a swim in the cerulean waters floating through space.
tell me-- do you still dream in black and white?
or have my words sparked a palette within you,
a painting you'd never seen?
i gave you access to a world once shrouded
in petty ideas of logic,
instead of canyons full of literary masterpieces.
i think you do more than "re-read my words."
i think you become them.
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 3:32 AM UTC
You are simply beyond description.
For a definition is but a collection of words, and those words are just letters working together to tell a story.
But your laugh takes me on an adventure through worlds undiscovered. Your eyes are deep oceans filled with tales of past shipwrecks before you realized that you were the treasure. Your heartbeat is a symphony composed in a melody that only we know.
So while describing you is this fool's errand, I know mere words will never completely capture you.
For words are just letters working together to be beautiful, and you are more beautiful than any group of words can ever hope to be.
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 3:31 AM UTC