Burning black the past fades back
And I'm stuck here in my youth
The skin is charred, the breads gone hard
but there's no more oil to use
All my sons are falling out
It's never sunny anymore
Bleeding thumbs from shooting guns
The price tag of your proof
The waters cold, and so you hold
Your arms close into you
All these days since I've seen you
You've grown your hair out to the floor
And in the morning windless dew
You whisper softly through the door
Saying
I ain't your man
I ain't your friend
I ain't your man
I ain't a friend
I ain't your man
I ain't your friend
I ain't your man
I ain't a friend
Jun 1, 2023
Jun 1, 2023 at 12:23 AM UTC
I despise myself for not being someone you could love.
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 1:12 AM UTC
Go ahead
hold me a little longer
than usual.
You say to me,
without using any
words at all,
"it should have been me,
its still me."
Like i don't already see
those sky blue eyes
every time i close my own.
Because we're still holding
on to god knows what.
Because it is you
and it will always be you.
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 1:11 AM UTC
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 1:10 AM UTC
The drops of rain cascade down
The cold downpour reflects my pain
Like the sky was crying for me
And as I gaze out my window
I see the familiar grey skies
As my heart sees the imagery
Of which I cast upon myself
Except, I realize
Soon
The rain will stop, the skies will clear
And I'll still be here
Waiting for my grey skies to go blue
May 22, 2019
May 22, 2019 at 12:30 AM UTC
The hum begins
I take a breath in
And with the air, in comes the sensation
Electrostatic fills my body
I bear back, as the reaching sounds hit me
The riff begins and the sensations hit
A plethora of lifetimes and universes roll past
I can almost look out and grab the sound with my fingers
The feelings in my stomach begin to bubble
The harmony progresses,
and the tones of a guitar takes hold with the substances
The chorus approaches
A feeling from the pit of my gut hits me
My heart is clicking in sync
My breathing becomes primal
Solely a sensation at this point
As the drive from a hi-hat groove floats me into my wall
Back sinking into the give from my introspection
It’s almost ********
The ****** approaches, the falsetto waves reach an apex
I feel the world surround me and I slip into a daze
The walls have taken me in
I’m not in my room anymore
I’m on the next overtone
And as the conclusion approaches
I come down
My view of what the world held
Is gone
I open my eyes
Record scratched
And I again remember
Her
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC