I opened up recently, and it feels
amazing.
This is the first time I can think of that I've turned to poetry out of happiness rather than anguish.
I just went back and read every poem I had ever written.
My conclusions were thus:
The thing that hurt me and caused me pain was never who I was, but rather the fear that people would see the real me.
Now, I have shown myself to all the important people, and life has gotten so much better.
I knew I couldn't be
closed
forever,
but I never expected openness to feel this good.
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 4:09 PM UTC
My sexuality isn't something you get to determine.
Nor something you get to judge me for.
Nor something you get to passive-aggressively hate on.
My sexuality is, however, something wonderful.
It is fluid.
It is something I am discovering uninhibitedly.
*There is no need to define it.*
Plus, trying to define it is what has caused
me untold anguish in the past anyway.
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 3:26 PM UTC
It's rather peculiar how quickly people open up to me, given how much I keep bottled inside myself.
Thoroughly torturing myself with contemplation, I try to break through the mental barrier of who I am daily.
Years of norms that are anything but inclusive or supporting keep me held back, confused and feeling alone.
Someday soon I will be me. Someday soon they will see me.
I will not be
closed
forever.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
I need
my faith in life restored,
to know I can go on.
I've discovered who I am,
but fear has kept it hidden.
How will they treat me?
What will they say?
And perhaps more importantly,
will I ever want to take it all back?
These questions and others plague me perpetually
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 9:51 PM UTC
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Just keep saying it.
It is OKAY.
The world will not end,
and you probably won't fail anyway.
Even if you did, there is always a backup plan.
Barring a backup plan, the world will keep spinning.
and...
in the catastrophically unlikely event that
our little planet stops going 'round,
you will no longer be.
That's a comforting thought, really.
That if anything were that bad, we wouldn't have to endure it.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
The world spins and rushes around us,
everyone with their own agenda.
At times I hunger for silence.
Then other times I question the nature of silence,
and whether it is silence I truly yearn for or not.
I come to realize it is not silence I want, but peace.
Some tranquility, some slowness.
Some public silence.
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014 at 10:28 PM UTC
Today I realized people are meant to share.
I'm not speaking of a physical sharing,
but rather a sharing rooted in caring.
You see today my friend needed me,
she had lost her job and had to vent.
Two and a half hours later,
after hearing all the woes life had gave her,
we both were happier than we'd been.
Conversation, collaboration, communion, and caring.
We aren't meant to tackle life alone.
Jul 19, 2014
Jul 19, 2014 at 2:55 AM UTC
It's been a while.
I've been bottling.
Bottling up all of my emotions because life got better and fewer had to be dealt with...
But I am still me, I can see.
Written into the lines of this old, online poetry
are feels that I can't explain, can't describe;
but can only know.
Reading back my words brings waves of emotion,
disconnected from time and place;
able to stand on their own
as a sort of expression.
Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014 at 7:47 PM UTC
Love is friendship set on fire
Nothing dimmer nothing brighter
Always rising ever higher
Than the one falling
Falling in love isn't easy
It may even be somewhat teas-ey
Please refrain from being queasy
Because you hear her calling
Calling in that lovely way
Makes you feel about to sway
To one above you need to pray
To keep yourself from bawling
Bawling for the improbability
Casting aside responsibility
Breaking the impossibility
That you could feel as I
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013 at 2:57 AM UTC
Is it possible
that maybe, just maybe
you might feel the same way
about me
as I do
about You?
Am I crazy
to think that
You and I could actually be?
Well that is my dilemma,
seems to always be my dilemma.
I should stop
over-analyzing everything you say.
And simply act.
Let's just talk
Let's talk about life
and love
or maybe not.
Talking about love with you
might be awkward
But on the other hand
maybe awkward is
exactly what we need?
Maybe awkward can change
into something less
frightening.
I can talk through my
chest collapsing,
and my heart stopping.
I've done it before.
It's just like talking
about any other nerve racking subject, right?
After all, I’ve been told
that "anything can happen"
and "anything can be"
Countless poets before me
have declared, stated, or otherwise said
how everything is feasible
In this world of endless possibility,
So with that in mind,
and my mind hopefully far behind,
I will follow my heart.
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013 at 2:48 AM UTC