i expect nothing less
from the steadfast skyscrapers soaring to the heavens;
as they touch the first star they could reach
and reach for dreams they didn't know they even had
in their slumber,
i dwell on these hours and the colors
that paint the skyline before closing my eyes;
then i dream of a more colorful palette
that changes the view, wakes the unliving, and lightens the weight on my shoulders
i expect nothing more
from me
as the nearest star i could touch is my lightbulb,
and the dream i'm reaching for is a whole new canvas;
i'm still yet to figure out if i fit in the picture
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 1:00 AM UTC
i look at the stars
like i'm connecting them
into constellations
to make you a map
in case you got lost
they'd trace over horizons
like faint strobe lights
hovering over rooftops and lamp posts;
treetops and seacoasts,
until they get close
to you
and guide you back home
to me
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 7:50 AM UTC
hello!
i'm here
i'm still here
here?
hollow!
i feel
i can feel
i can't feel
empty
hallow!
i,
the average actress
the drama
the script
the standing ovation
the tears
the backstage,
am empty
...
hello!
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 6:21 AM UTC
plot twist:
the earth is flat
everything is in 2D
and so are the people
we're stripped down
into nothing
but points and lines
as the universe depicts
what we can be
but not who we are
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 11:16 AM UTC
Ignite, spark, ablaze
Ignite, spark, ablaze
Ignite, spark, ablaze
Ignite the glowing ember from the spaces between my ribcage,
Burn the butterflies and set me on fire
Spark the curiosity you kindled in my brain,
As it is encompassed by the thought train
Carrying a cargo of irrevocable desire
Ablaze is my heart beating rhythmically,
Synchronously each time your name comes into mind
I have always been told not to play with fire
But I left that advice behind
When I learned that it shed light and a new beginning,
Opened the doors of opportunity;
Gave warmth and safety,
Maybe, it would be easy
If fire did not ***** the tips of your fingers when you come too close;
If fire did not leave marks on your skin,
But… my patience is wearing thin
And I don’t think I can stop you –
I don’t think I want you to
So I let you engulf me in your fire once more
Until I fade into the ashes you will always ignore
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 8:47 AM UTC
This is my story. These are the memories that remain etched in my brain, and made my pen struggle to keep up with what is left in my heart. This is me with my pride down to the soles of my feet, and my tough skin peeled off layer by layer until I am nothing but honest. I am unveiling myself raw and vulnerable like the scars I was left with, and the wounds I am enduring because I have chosen not to plaster an old band aid on something so hard to heal. This was me at my worst.
It began last 2014, while I was in the middle of my usual academic chaos, home responsibilities, and other stressful things. That one day felt like the beginning of the end for me. It became the prologue of a novel that had me hooked ever since my eyes first laid on the first word. Cancer.
Saying the word felt like tasting something so bitter; something like poison. The aftertaste resided in my tongue no matter how I much I try to smile. I always knew what it was but never how it felt like. It had always been that dramatic plot twist in books or movies that I never gave too much thought of, or that incurable disease that a lot of people die from. Was it wrong of me not to expect that she was next in line?
Chapter 2015, she asked me if she had gotten thinner. It was weeks after her chemotherapy.
I answered with, “No, you look okay.”
She did not like it when I lie, and I knew that she knew I did.
I could only imagine how hard it must have been, to be stripped off of something that made her used to feel more like woman rather than someone dying. She could have cried. She could have told me how painful it was for her. But she didn’t. Even though she saw me through my lies, she just smiled and asked me how I was in school.
Chapter 2016, she asked me if I was sad to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve alone. Again.
I answered with, “No, it’s okay,” as the sound of fireworks crackling and my dog barking emerged in the background.
She did not want to show her face during our calls anymore. It was only her voice that accompanied me while I was in denial of my lonely disposition. It was her same voice that quivered through my phone’s receiver and told me that Death had found solace in her bones and started to **** them slowly part by part. But despite how utterly impossible it was at that time, she assured me that she would come home soon.
Chapter 2017, I told her to get well soon when she told me she had a fever for a few days from then.
She answered with, “Thank you, I’ll be okay.”
And as if it weren’t enough, Death also decided to clamber inside her brain.
It was then decided that she’ll be flying back here in the Philippines. If life was easier, I would have seen her at home when I just arrived from school. But it wasn’t, so I had to skip school and meet her at the hospital.
I stayed with her as much as I could. I tried to make things easier for her so she could recover faster. She often stressed about the smallest things because she wanted everything to go perfectly. I often told her to tell me or my dad if she was uncomfortable or in pain because I wanted her to feel okay. I wanted her to be the real okay, and not the ones we used to lie about.
On the first day of October, I knew that the One up there heard me because now, she is okay. It was not what I meant at first, but I’m okay with it.
That was not and will not be the end of my story. That was not me trying to ask for sympathy or attention. That was me sending a message out to all of you, to hold on to whatever and whoever you have with you right now. If you’re not in good terms, settle it. If you’re holding back something you’ve always wanted to say, say it. And if ever things don’t work out like they planned, I want you to know that it will not be the ending of your story if you don’t let it be.
That was me at my worst. But I’m thankful for it, because it made me become the best I could be today and hopefully for more days to come. I know I will have more of these dramatic plot twists in the upcoming chapters, but once I get through all of them just like I did the first time, I know that she’ll be proud, like she always has been of me.
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 8:54 AM UTC
I love your stories,
your bright eyes and lucid dreaming;
your realism, despite believing in more days on your fingers
or a memory that lingers
without having to remember how warm your hands were
before they grew foreign and cold
Every day I watched the sun peak and cower behind concrete jungles,
I have witnessed every color that the sky could offer,
but it grew duller and duller,
and for a moment, my eyes were not any different
compared to the weeping clouds above me
So who was it to blame?
For me to see you die every day;
for you to suffer like a sinner
when you have done anything but
because you are the prettiest flower
pure and iridescent
from past until present
and maybe that’s why you were picked first
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 11:51 PM UTC
b l i n k,
b l i n k,
b l i n k,
watch the waves and the shore
reunite like star-crossed lovers;
them and their interlocking fingers
before the ocean and the others could keep them apart
t h i n k,
t h i n k,
t h i n k,
of the times you yearned to be free
and embraced by the ripples you hear in your sleep;
where the sun didn’t scorch your skin as much as it should be
because it was nice for once;
because everything felt 'nice' for once
and then you would start asking for more
more of the sun,
more of the ocean;
more of the 'nice'
but what is nice may not be nice at all
your utmost peak may become your greatest downfall
but let me tell you that
you may have more of the sun;
you may have more than you think,
and you may have more of the sea
but don’t you ever
s i n k,
s i n k,
s i n k
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 7, 2017 at 9:37 PM UTC
•...•...•...•
i want to hold you,
although the roses are dead
and the love is too
•...•...•...•
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 4:03 AM UTC