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awkward-4-you
My high school ramblings.
Poems1
Followers5
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I remember waking up very early the next morning, maybe three hours after I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. I tiptoed through the house, careful not to wake anybody up, even the guy who kept telling you to drink even though you very kindly asked him to stop. I'm not sure if you ended up drinking, I forgot most of what happened that night, but I remember shouting from the tire swing that I loved you and that I loved you and that I loved you. I found where you were sleeping, relieved to find no body next to yours, and calmly placed a hand on your forehead. You stirred, before gently grabbing my hand as it pulled away. Eyes still closed, you asked me how I felt. I feel okay, nothing appears to be broken. You said nothing and went back to sleep. I said nothing and sat there for a long while. I watched your chest rise and fall with each breathe, and I loved you and I loved you and I loved you. After a time I stepped outside to smoke a thought, and the thought I smoked was not of you or of the night before but of my mother. She told me, after I brought home my first date, two months into my freshmen year of high school, that just because I desire somebody's love, does not mean I deserve it. I loved you and I loved you and I loved you but I did not deserve your love.
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awkward-4-you
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 2:00 AM UTC
jeremy-duff
Remember That Time At Eric's When Tony Said That I Said That I Loved You? Well, Tony Was Telling The Truth.
I remember waking up very early the next morning, maybe three hours after I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. I tiptoed through the house, careful not to wake anybody up, even the guy who kept telling you to drink even though you very kindly asked him to stop. I'm not sure if you ended up drinking, I forgot most of what happened that night, but I remember shouting from the tire swing that I loved you and that I loved you and that I loved you. I found where you were sleeping, relieved to find no body next to yours, and calmly placed a hand on your forehead. You stirred, before gently grabbing my hand as it pulled away. Eyes still closed, you asked me how I felt. I feel okay, nothing appears to be broken. You said nothing and went back to sleep. I said nothing and sat there for a long while. I watched your chest rise and fall with each breathe, and I loved you and I loved you and I loved you. After a time I stepped outside to smoke a thought, and the thought I smoked was not of you or of the night before but of my mother. She told me, after I brought home my first date, two months into my freshmen year of high school, that just because I desire somebody's love, does not mean I deserve it. I loved you and I loved you and I loved you but I did not deserve your love.
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. I wish I didn’t find a way to **** up every relationship I ever had. I wish I had never kissed John Doe when he was high and had a girlfriend, and all the many times we did it sober. I wish I hadn’t told him I had feelings for him, and just waited. I wish I still didn’t cry over the kisses he left on my skin over four months ago. I wish that I had had the chance to scream all my angry feelings at him. I wish my face and neck didn’t go hot with anger every time I look or think of him. I wish I hadn’t slapped him, or slept with him. I wish I had the courage to walk up to him and hug him. And just hold him for a few minutes. I WISH I COULD SCREAM “YOU ******* PROMISED” OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL MY THROAT IS RAW AND MY EYES ARE EMPTY OF TEARS. I wish he knew how much he hurts me every time I see those eyes. I wish with all my might that I could hit rewind and start my whole life over, with all the knowledge I have now. Because my heart hurts and my mind is bored.
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Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 12:39 AM UTC
awkward-4-you
John Doe
. I wish I didn’t find a way to **** up every relationship I ever had. I wish I had never kissed John Doe when he was high and had a girlfriend, and all the many times we did it sober. I wish I hadn’t told him I had feelings for him, and just waited. I wish I still didn’t cry over the kisses he left on my skin over four months ago. I wish that I had had the chance to scream all my angry feelings at him. I wish my face and neck didn’t go hot with anger every time I look or think of him. I wish I hadn’t slapped him, or slept with him. I wish I had the courage to walk up to him and hug him. And just hold him for a few minutes. I WISH I COULD SCREAM “YOU ******* PROMISED” OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL MY THROAT IS RAW AND MY EYES ARE EMPTY OF TEARS. I wish he knew how much he hurts me every time I see those eyes. I wish with all my might that I could hit rewind and start my whole life over, with all the knowledge I have now. Because my heart hurts and my mind is bored.
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