Even when being stabbed I didn't run for my life until you screamed at me, angry that my back broke your knife
Now there’s something deep inside me that's broken and if you shake me too hard It might slice me up from the inside out
I need a place to break bottles and a handbook to make it look like I wasn't just crying
When I'm with you I want to be on an airplane so I can use the oxygen mask to keep from losing my breathe
Everyone I used to know has either forgotten that I used to smile or is not in my life because I can’t hold that smile up for them
I want to bottle and sell the feeling I get when I look into a pretty girl's eyes and realize I'll do whatever she asks of me
Because I keep telling myself I’ve seen it all, my eyes are closed to the things I haven’t yet seen
The people around me are very supportive and interesting which would be cool if I didn’t want to be dead always
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 3:49 PM UTC
The promise you made
to love me
means more than
the promise I made
to love myself
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 3:27 PM UTC
The way you love to talk more than
****
makes me want to be the reason
you fall silent as
you hold me
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 3:26 PM UTC
Have you asked yourself
why you hold
that which is gone
if it’s gone
it isn’t real
at least
not to you
but you hold on
knuckles white
like you’ve been bled
halfway to death
as white as
the sleeping moon
you’re missing
the truth like the moon
misses the
singing wolf
why don’t you
bite the hand
that bleeds you
but you’re occupied
picking up broken pieces
searching the globe
for what you
lost
if you find the strewn bits
your hands will be
in pieces
the memories will
have faded with a
harsh stain
an allusion on your eyelids
when you blink
don’t let
your eyes
stop having sight
because you looked
too long
for what is
gone
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 1:07 PM UTC
I screamed at my mother
until my voice hurt
I knew I was crazy
but I was so scared
she looked at me
like I was
her cup of coffee
that had spilled
I’m afraid
I can get in trouble
for being afraid
following the dog days
when you dogged me
in all ways
nothing kept me grounded
I forgot about the earth
heart was electrified
need for sleep unrecognized
I walked towards
who I left for you
hoping that if
I slept with him
you'd hear about it
you’d be jealous
when you called me
button
you were really saying
you couldn’t join two parts
without my help
now you can only
text me when
you’re alone
unlike when
you needed me
to keep your hole
from tearing
apart
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 12:43 PM UTC
I can still see
the tidal wave
pushing past
the kindness
of your eyes
hatred over love,
like
the crashing of a village’s
chapel after
disaster—
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 1:21 AM UTC
Seize the moment
they say
live in the moment
to seize is to take
to take is to steal
I begin pickpocketing
moments for myself
and no one else
getting advice from what can
only be a moment thief
Articles with click-throughs
said I could love myself
three easy steps
ten easy steps
arbitrary quantities
erroneous
because it has taken
thousands of difficult steps
to begin loving myself
and only with the help
of moments from
strangers and tourists
in my town
The moment thief tells me
not to be scared of being scared
It tells me to be proud
of myself
never ashamed
of how I came to find out
the moment thief
does not know
what I do not know
why I like to make
generalizations
about humanity
as a whole
after being hurt by
only one person
The snatcher says to me
living is as easy as not dying
There is no use shoplifting
the only good lives
are in the street
and in the homes
be a cat burglar
ahead of the pack
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 12:59 PM UTC
There is a gnashing of teeth
a grate falling down on my leg
and I react to put my hand in his mouth
remembering the balance
between fight and play
looking out a train window
wondering why the fox
and other animals
cannot ride bicycles
but can run just as fast
the snarling dog that I love
lowers his head and I roll
off of my back to accost him
pinching his neck and
smoothing my hand on his face
as he swings his head back and forth
dancing with another man
for a crowd
as you walk on
the bridge above
tongue falling from his mouth
eyes aware
sparkling
like we are throwing a ball
but I know what he
may have forgotten
games turn into wars
and friends forget
I question my intelligence
when my brain and body
can't work
well enough together
so that I can only rely
on my brain
to think
when my body
has ceased to function
namely in the shower
when I am ready to go to sleep
not when I need it
forgetting
every memory that made a bond
unless you laugh
so I laugh
and he rolls onto his back
my hands fall
rub from his thigh to his stomach
watch his tongue clasp behind the grate
eyes hidden
behind their dams
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
There’s such a heavy
weight on my chest
that when I get
a chance
to take a deep breath
it is a shock of pure
joy through me
and for a few moments
after that
my hands do not shake
and my chest lifts
A deep breath should not
mean this much
to me
it is two lovers
at the airport
taking two
separate breaths
before running
to meet
one nearly crying
down the escalators
from pure joy
the other nearly crying
while they shift
from foot to foot
where the escalator
swallows itself
I feel like I’m
breathing in
ocean air
for the first time
with arms open
in front of the
blanket of pale blue
I feel like
you must have felt
when you
quit smoking
after months
or just the
three day ****
breathing better now
feeling normal now
My hands don’t
shake
my chest is not
so tight
lifting
up
for a few moments
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 4:30 PM UTC
Without warning
being with you
was like writing
with my left hand
making me think
we were
no longer
good together
and you agreed
and you have
always agreed
and you have always
said that you still love me
like I am your favorite book
but you don’t want
to have to
read me
every day
you’d rather
open me up
to look
at the dedication
then put me away
on the shelf
where I sit
next to
the geography books
of all the foreign girls
you have dated
you once
said in a hushed tone
to me
that there was
a language barrier
getting in the way
but opening them up
felt so good
because the
hills of their bellies and thighs
were not too
big
the rivers were
wet
and they liked to
explore your topography too
for hours and hours
in ways
my left hand
could not do
and so I am
your favorite book
that you remember
scenes from
questions from
with a smile
we didn’t work
and you agreed
and you laughed
as you said
we went through a lot
tell me what made it easy
to let me walk away
and stop being your home
but a book on your shelf
was it
the way my right hand
stopped working
and acted
like it was my left
was it that
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 5:21 AM UTC