she was always
mediocre
from the minute she was born.
absolutely average in every way.
she was the middle child
always trying to mediate
big brother and little sister
stuck in the middle.
she loved the theatre
yet she was always a small role
always in the show, never a lead,
perfectly average.
smart, but not first in her class
just above
average.
average build, average athlete,
average personality,
average person.
and as she set expectations for herself,
her average-ness
crushed her
and she wanted to be
Perfect.
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 26, 2017 at 8:56 PM UTC
i will not
t
e
a
r
myself
a p a r t
to make someone else
WHOLE
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 9:12 PM UTC
as plants grew,
and life blossomed,
I was stuck in winter.
left with the misty nights
and no feeling left in my
toes
fingers
or heart,
I was stuck in winter.
watching a warm spring celebrate
my faraway
sun.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 9:12 PM UTC
the twinkling lights around my head dance.
all my worries are faded and gone --
i sit here thinking of a good expance
that i cannot seem to look upon.
my heart is longing for a new sounding
of a drum that seems to be too distant.
i am still hopeful that it is astounding,
without hope sanity is nonexistent.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 6:03 PM UTC
-Dear God..
Can you hear my prayers..
Or will my words be swallowed in the snow..
I always feared suffering in your endless inferno..
I can almost hear the screams of the afterlife..
Torture is the ultimate cost of sin..
-To you..Mighty Zeus..I pray..
With trailes of blood and tears on my cheeks..
Your presence fills my lonely days..
Your crystal-draped whispers give me a hint of safety..
Hell is only temporary..eternal is Heaven..
Tartrus is the devine punishment..
To the ones who refuse submission..
And Hades..is the land of lost souls..
-Tell me..Great Odin..
Can you hear the agonized screams of your loyal slaves?
Can you see them waging wars in your name?
Raising the black flags of destruction?
Or are you too busy sipping your precious nectar?
Our silence is not the answer..
We shall ascend to your Asgard..We shall break your throne..
Remember..Great Odin..
Ragnarok approaches!
Divinity is only temporary..eternal is Valhallah..
And injustice is a sin..punishable by death..
-Forgive me..Amun-Ra
I fear the darkness that is you..
I kneel before your divine image..
I tremble at the sound of your voice..
Redeem me..of the evil that is you
From the wrath embracing my entity..
And reward me..with your resonating light..
Blood..is the cost of forgiveness..
-Dear God..hear me..
Whoever you are..
Whatever name you may hold..
I beseech your wisdom..
They see you in statues..in Heaven..in death..
I see you in the verses of the Bible..
The hymns of the angels..
The warmth of melody..
The scent of parchment..the softness of silk..
I see you in the parades of death..to our sacrificed martyrs..
I see you in her braids..her voice..
The dance we had..
You're the beats of my cold heart..
I ask no forgiveness..but I seek inception..
A chance to start over..
To fall in love once more..
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC
I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,
On a white heal-all, holding up a moth
Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth—
Assorted characters of death and blight
Mixed ready to begin the morning right,
Like the ingredients of a witches’ broth—
A snow-drop spider, a flower like a froth,
And dead wings carried like a paper kite.
What had that flower to do with being white,
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?
What but design of darkness to appall?—
If design govern in a thing so small.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 12:35 PM UTC
He would declare and could himself believe
That the birds there in all the garden round
From having heard the daylong voice of Eve
Had added to their own an oversound,
Her tone of meaning but without the words.
Admittedly an eloquence so soft
Could only have had an influence on birds
When call or laughter carried it aloft.
Be that as may be, she was in their song.
Moreover her voice upon their voices crossed
Had now persisted in the woods so long
That probably it never would be lost.
Never again would birds’ song be the same.
And to do that to birds was why she came.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 12:28 PM UTC
There sandy seems the golden sky
And golden seems the sandy plain.
No habitation meets the eye
Unless in the horizon rim,
Some halfway up the limestone wall,
That spot of black is not a stain
Or shadow, but a cavern hole,
Where someone used to climb and crawl
To rest from his besetting fears.
I see the callus on his soul
The disappearing last of him
And of his race starvation slim,
Oh years ago—ten thousand years.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 12:27 PM UTC
Light spreads darkly downwards from the high
Clusters of lights over empty chairs
That face each other, coloured differently.
Through open doors, the dining-room declares
A larger loneliness of knives and glass
And silence laid like carpet. A porter reads
An unsold evening paper. Hours pass,
And all the salesmen have gone back to Leeds,
Leaving full ashtrays in the Conference Room.
In shoeless corridors, the lights burn. How
Isolated, like a fort, it is -
The headed paper, made for writing home
(If home existed) letters of exile: Now
Night comes on. Waves fold behind villages.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 12:22 PM UTC
His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.
Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...
...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.
His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 12:16 PM UTC