There's a pit that I've been digging in my chest, trying to find my heart.
I've dug for years but I have finally dug to the bottom of my soul and I've found a festering sore or a heart
A heart that tried, a heart that hurts.
I've dug so much and so fast that I didn't realize I, myself, am the one who made me empty. It's getting hard to live with myself again, I'm empty, I'm lonely, and tired of the hurt from the festering heart I used call mine. I'm tired of dancing to a tune that everyone else hears differently.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 7:07 PM UTC
I see more art in my sights at midnight, than at noon.
I feel more emotions running through my veins at midnight, than at noon.
I hear more music in your voice and more music outside at midnight, than at noon.
I taste more stale air and silent breaths at midnight, than noon.
I don't smell anything more at midnight, than noon.
I am more alive at midnight, than noon because I'm accepting of the fact that I'm alone in a cold cruel world that will never do me justice. I can control the feelings I have when I'm most delirious, I know who's awake and ignoring me, than who's awake and avoiding me. I am more at midnight, than noon because I'm in control of everything crazy once it rests for the night, I don't ever rest. There is no rest for the wicked.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 2:03 AM UTC
The worst part
Of waking up throughout the night
And staying up at the 2A.M mark
Is that it's the loneliest place to reside
Everyone else is asleep living in a dream
And you're stuck with reality
Which is gutting you like a pig
Slitting your wrists
And ripping you limb from limb
It's truly the loneliest place on earth to be.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 5:00 AM UTC
I still pray to a god I don't believe in and ask for him to save me. I cry late at night, and the water is rising. My eyes are sore from to prickling, my heart is sore from the wear. Each tear that leaves my eyes leaves a little bit more of a space to feel empty. I miss feeling whole and I only feel whole when you give me your attention but once you fall asleep, or once we part even temporarily, I feel the bottomless pit of despair. I guess you're a drug; you get me high as a kite and make me feel good and fun and then when the wind does down I fall until the next breeze picks me up. I feel so ******* empty. I've tried pills, alcohol, and smoke to fill the void, nothing sticks. I'm running away from the inevitable demise of myself.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
*** is an itch I can't scratch
I feel the lust coursing through my veins
I feel my nerves cheer at the thought of being touched
I want to be dominated but I also want to dominate I want to roll around each other and experience the look on your face when I make you ***
I'm a strange ****** being I live only in the confines of moans of pleasure and the taste of your tongue against mine is something I've wanted for months
I want to push myself against you and move slowly without a purpose until you feel lust take over you and lay with me so we can feel each other up and feel.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 8:23 PM UTC
I once dated a girl who liked to be choked when we had *** Her adrenaline coursed through her veins as she choked on the air she desperately needed And she liked the ********** not because she needed it but because she knew she didn't need it. I fell in love with her and she ripped my hart from my weak chest and trapped It away in a box. I should have known from the start that she didn't need me, like I needed her.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 9:06 PM UTC
The fact that you're alive brings a smile to my face. I've known you for two days and I feel more in love than I've ever felt in my entire life. You bring tears to my eyes when you talk to me, you're absolute heaven. I feel like your presence in my life is purging all the tears from my eyes pre-fall when I would've gotten morose. These tears tickle my cheeks and run down my jaw and they don't sting like they used to. I hope you stay in my life forever. I feel so intense about you and I am so bewildered that I've been dreaming about you for years
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:02 PM UTC
S. I don't even know you but you've attracted me far beyond rationality. The expression that rests on your face gives me goosebumps. The *** drive I have for you is ridiculous. I want to dive my face between your thighs till my lips go numb. I want to hear how sweet the sound of my name comes when slipped inbetween moans that escape your sweet lips. I want your hand in my head signaling to never stop. I want to hold you I want to dance with you. I want to listen to the eagles with you. I don't even know you and I want to, oh god I want to. I want to stare into your eyes and know that you're all mine and I'm all yours. I want to do ***** teenage things with you, I want to cute couple things with you. We can makeout in the backseat of your parents car while some red hot chili peppers plays, we can argue about why I want you to not go to parties without me alone. I just want you to bad I want to give love hickies along your collar bones I want to kiss your neck and feel your legs around my waist. I want you, S. This is a sex/love note.
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC
Hard to tell of I even exist anymore
I am as invisible as a ghost
I'm only acknowledged when I do damage
Or something you don't appreciate
So I lock myself up in my cage of a room and waste the time that crawls by. You see me as a seed, ready to be put in good dirt to bloom to a rose but what you don't see is I'm a slimy piece of plastic from the trash. I'm a stench you can't wash out, a stench you can't outrun and I'm so sorry for polluting you. Because you really are a seed that is ready to bloom and be admired but I'm nothing. And I'm sorry you dragged me around only to get carpal tunnel and be in pain. If I could is steal your pain. I swim in pain all day, everyday, so it wouldn't be such a hit to me. But the day you left me I received a huge hole in my heart that you ripped and I can't sew it back together again
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 1:04 AM UTC
"If she is important to you, show her!"
I tried. I've grown dark bags under my eyes because I would stay up late to talk to her so she would go to sleep happy. I educated myself so I knew what she liked and knew what she discussed I was so out of touch with society and what was going on until she pushed me to know. She changed me so much by grabbing me by my collar and pulling me around the world. Then one day she got carpal tunnel and left me in the ***** soil to "grow again" but I'll be ****** if I ever do because she saw me as a seed when I am just a piece if trash. It's good she's gone I was stinking her up. She was the true rose of the world. I pray to a god I don't believe in every night that she'll come back. I miss her so ******* much.
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC