20 years old
lacking a box spring and bed frame
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 11:23 AM UTC
I eat when I'm depressed
I'm depressed a lot
I eat when I'm anxious
I'm anxious a lot
I eat a lot
The new stretch marks on the corner of where my arm meets my shoulder scream
"THIS BODY CONSUMES A LOT OF FOOD"
And I hate myself for it
And I want to hide
And that's cliche
But the feeling of worthlessness only comes from misogynistic beauty standards being shoved down my throat from since I was little
But my brain doesn't care where that feeling comes from
My brain tells me to eat
or to throw up after I eat
or to run because I ate too much
and then eat some more
I would probably die from shock if I told myself I was beautiful
And, since I don't want to die
right now
I'll just eat and hate myself for it
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 26, 2017 at 8:12 PM UTC
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach right before you skydive?
Yeah, me neither
But, I'm assuming that feeling feels something like the way my stomach has been feeling the past few months
I guess some people like that feeling though
The adrenaline rush right before you fall
I bet they would feel differently in a situation lacking the dauntless sky dive after the feeling in their stomach arrives
Just an upset tummy is not as appealing, I would say
And that's how I feel.
I feel like I should be jumping out of a plane, swimming with menacing creatures of the sea, or climbing a mountain.
But the latter doesn't happen.
It never happens
The feeling marks it's territory with it's little flag and footprints on my stomach but then it never leaves
And nothing ever follows the feeling
Nothing exciting
Nothing to look forward to
Just an upset tummy
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 2:00 PM UTC
The weather is warmer
More skin is shown
More comments are made
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 11:54 AM UTC
I was afraid to tell you again.
It's been so long
I've made progress
...I couldn't stop it
So, you don't know
The distance between you and me makes it easy to hide
But everyone else knows
They notice the discolored pigmentation on my wrists
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 11:49 AM UTC
hi im an introvert often mistaken for an extravert
i prefer listening
let me observe
i dont mind sitting with myself
notice that im not alone
i have me
and my thoughts
and this soft blanket of calm
dont take my blanket from me please
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 7:58 PM UTC
Depression has decided to suffocate me occasionally and I need a break
I can't go to class if I can't breathe
I can't socialize if I can't breathe
I can't feel joy if I can't breathe
But Depression doesn't listen to me
Depression doesn't mind seeing me in pain
Depression feeds off of my self loathing
Depression is really quite rude to me
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 25, 2017 at 2:09 PM UTC
I'm embarrassed to tell you
It's not something I'm proud of
I burn because it makes me feel better
until it doesn't
I know you don't get it
It's okay
I've been alone this whole time anyways
Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 3:22 PM UTC
How dare you?
How dare you make me feel...
...like this
when I smell your aftershave on a stranger
Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 10:23 AM UTC
Would I recognize you
If I saw you again
Would you smile
Say hello
Remember me?
"Ashleigh, right?"
Would I blush
I'm sure I would blush
"Noah, right?
Fumble over my words
Wanting more than the moment we had in that silver box
The elevator doors opened
And I will never see you again
Unless you were meant to open more
For me
And you would ask me,
"Could I call you sometime?"
You, with the strawberry cheeks
Shyly
"Of course"
Favorite pen on hand
His hand
Noah
The boy on the 4th floor I will probably never see again
Sincerely, the girl on the 4th floor you will hopefully see again
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 4:17 PM UTC