Not home, not yet.
I made a fool of myself
So you could pretend to be a child again
This, I decided, was sticky.
I looked inside myself and found a stranger
I was unaware of the face
staring at me in the mirror.
I think I hate him.
You just have worked some kind of magic.
Something is majorly wrong with this picture
Because the things worth holding onto,
Wouldn't have let go.
No one knows where words come from
But my lips broke.
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 26, 2017 at 8:05 PM UTC
In high school,
It's all just fun and games
Of who has better aim
And who can get the knife
deeper in your back.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 10:31 PM UTC
I want to know
Trust me, I do
I want to tell you that he broke my heart
I want to tell you that it's worse than before
I need to let you know that I don't believe in love anymore
I wanna cry out that I'm not okay
I'm not sick because it's cold outside,
I'm sick because I've been crying myself to sleep for weeks
I have no one left for me
But mom, I don't want you to worry.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 10:30 PM UTC
The word feels foreign on my tongue
Actions make me run and hide
As if no one could ever love someone
As hideous and ***** as me
That's what you want me to believe
That no one will ever love me for the way I am.
So you sit there and whisper in my ear
It's okay, he can touch you like that, this isn't wrong
But it is
He should treat me better.
For a while,
I told myself that I would figure you out
I would understand why you are the way that you are
I would fix you
But it was never that simple
Sometimes, people hurt people just to hurt them
As if they find pleasure in it
You loved to watch me squirm under your knife.
I always thought you loved me
But now the fog has cleared
And I see that it was lust.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 10:22 PM UTC
I counted the number of times
you weren't there for me
in tally marks on my wrist.
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 10:46 PM UTC
The Stars get tired of hanging.
The Moon doesn't want to rise each night just to fall again.
The Sun gets sad sometimes and doesn't want to shine.
I think there's a place that exists where most of us want to be.
A different universe.
Where imagination runs wild.
You can be you.
No lies.
No masks.
Everything could be perfect.
And that destroys your image of reality.
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 10:41 PM UTC
I fight myself awake every morning,
dragging my lifeless body out of bed
because I am so tired of trying
to deal with the reality that you're gone.
And you're not coming back.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 3:15 PM UTC
These scars won't fade,
They're engraved into my memory
as much as they are in my skin.
They won't go away.
They'll never fade.
Always there to whisper in my ear
of the failure that I've become.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 2:44 PM UTC
I don't know how to describe how I feel but even if I did,
I still don't think you would understand.
But I have to say it anyways.
There's a hole in my heart where you should be.
While walking to any destination, I only long for your presence.
I long for our body's to touch.
I long for your warmth.
I long to fall asleep on your chest to the rhythm of your heartbeat.
I desire to fall asleep and wake up next to you.
I long to hear your voice.
I long to go on a drive with you, blasting country music,
with the windows down, singing at the top of our lungs.
There is no way to explain how you made me feel,
except for saying that you made me feel infinite
and if you have never felt that, you'll never know why I'm broken.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 2:37 PM UTC
If you look up at the stars,
Sometimes you'll see many clusters of stars,
But if you keep looking,
You'll find one star by itself,
Shining bright
With only the light of the moon surrounding it.
That is me.
That is my soul.
In a galaxy full of people,
I stand alone.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 2:30 PM UTC