I look in the mirror I see regret.
I see all the things I could reset.
I see the good and I see the bad.
Confused messed up and mad.
I know now how it all went wrong.
Its all my fault I wasn't very strong.
I wanted to do what was right.
In my own mind there was a fight.
I don't know how to say goodbye.
It seems so easy until you try.
Love is to deep, I can not let go.
You taught me love, that I know.
Didn't know I was the luckiest man.
To have such an amazing life planed.
I ******* up I didn't know what I had.
Now here I am a broken single Dad.
A. Emmi
01/25/19
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 1:56 AM UTC
Humans creators of time.
Superior in our own mind.
Entitled we dictate it all.
Simple minded we will fall.
Inevitable self destruction.
Nature is our only instruction.
Yet we seek complications.
Creating more frustrations.
Solving problems we created.
Divided we abide dissipated.
Guilty as can be we dispute.
Leaving majority in destitute.
Capable of so much more.
We decide to fight, wage war.
Declare nonsense on mankind.
Thousands of years spent blind.
A. Emmi 01/23/19
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 11:24 PM UTC
Mindset.
Every next choice could be a new start.
Time has no definition in our heart.
A man made tool to guide us along.
Never deciding what's right or wrong.
The choice to change is only within.
We can choose to smile or to grin.
Perception lies in our consciousness.
Choose a life of positivity not regress.
A battle it is if your broken and torn.
Scars run deep beat down and worn.
We can live in the past full of regret.
Or we can look ahead a clear mindset.
Some of our pain is from our own hand.
Some sought us out unwanted unplanned.
Life deals out everyone a different hand.
Its up to us to take control take command.
A.Emmi 01/01/19
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 12:47 AM UTC
Dear Dad.
Its been eighteen years since I seen you last.
Since I seen you smile or heard you laugh.
My best friend, for the short time we had.
My mentor, my hero, my Dad.
How have I been since you went away?
So many things, so much to say.
I met the woman of my dreams.
It didn't work out, that's life it seems.
We had a daughter a little red head.
Love at first sight, just like you said.
Her name is Abigail, she looks a lot like you.
Ill give her my best in everything I do.
I wish you were here to see her grow.
To give her the wisdom that you know.
Don't worry she has an amazing Grandpa.
She loves him dearly, she calls him Guh.
I've had some good times, and my share of bad.
Life's been one hell of a ride, without you Dad.
I miss our long talks, your unbiased advice.
Your never ending love, hard work, and sacrifice.
What I wouldn't give for just one more day.
To tell you everything I want to say.
I hope you would be proud of the man I've become.
All the hardships, and struggles I have overcome.
Now I will look forward, I'm sure I will be fine..
Trying to be a better man one day at a time.
I miss you always, ill never forget this day.
December 30th. When my Dad went away.
A. Emmi 12/30/18
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 1:49 PM UTC
Goodbye.
Sometimes in life we must let go.
Cast aside the burden we know.
Transcend existence, transform.
Find Balance within the firestorm.
Begin the puzzle one corner at a time.
Fill in the pieces, slowly you will climb.
The past is behind you, miss it you will.
A life lesson learned, a covered landfill.
I'll give the love I have before it's gone.
A picture I'm drawing not yet drawn.
A good man I am, I've done some wrong.
Does that defy my whole life's song?
Ahead I shall look, It's the only choice left.
No matter how distraught or depressed.
I thought I had forever, life changes course.
Forever missed, you're my greatest remorse.
I finally say goodbye, and farewell.
Hope life treats you fair and well.
A.Emmi. 12/19/2018
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 12:17 PM UTC
In the sunset I see you fading away.
Moon rise gives hope to another day.
Cool breeze dry's tears from my cheek.
A broken down soul torn and weak.
Hopeful dreams fulfill my head.
Every night while I lay in bed.
Wishing thoughts of times gone by.
Wishing thoughts of you and I.
Memories so vivid and so pure.
Of a love that once needed no cure.
Years of good times all washed away.
On that fateful January Sunday.
Now I stand alone trying to repair.
My heart swollen my mind in despair.
I find it hard to move on with my life.
I miss you so much....my beautiful wife.
A.Emmi 06/30/18
Jun 30, 2018
Jun 30, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
A new day will arrive.
Even without you here.
Please always know.
I hold you near.
I think of you often.
Thoughts of past.
Thoughts of love.
These thoughts last.
From the beginning.
Love at first sight.
I miss your laugh.
I miss holding you tight.
Days go by I still remain.
Trudging on my own.
I seek true happiness.
On this long road alone.
A.Emmi 06/29/18
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 29, 2018 at 10:23 AM UTC
Forgive me for I am forever flawed.
Born scared, chewed up, and mauled.
A gift I was given, the gift of life.
But something was taken, a sacrifice.
I am different than most, a brain malfunction.
I do not come with papers, or instruction.
I must navigate alone in a sea of existence.
Doing what is right with patience, and persistence.
I once did not understand that I was this way.
For I was just a pawn in life, just here to play.
But now I know, and with a heavy heart.
I am forced to reboot, give in, and restart.
Forgive me for I am not your average man.
I was born with gods will, and a different plan.
I have climbed to the highest peak and survived.
I have hit rock bottom and never compromised.
A.Emmi 06/19/18
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 7:34 PM UTC
Heart beats rythem erratic
Hope is blind eyes static
Forever is never far away
Sleepless nights here to stay
Late evenings early morns
Halos brighter than devil horns
Hunger present eating a chore
Lacking affection love adore
Confusion settles hard to think
Grabbing life.....shall not sink
Future is present now is here
Tomorrow gone will not fear
Bargain I will strive I must
Wipe myself off shake out the dust
Slowly pace living low
Taking time to let myself grow
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 12:38 PM UTC
Past memories inflicting pain.
What more do I have to gain.
Living a life of lies indulging sin.
Waving off all friends and kin.
Living life reclusive in fear.
cant see anyone nor hear.
Buried under a fortress of gloom.
Looking out a window of doom.
Indecisive of my future path.
All consuming grave and wrath.
So alone no outlook of tomorrow.
Sulking in my own pain and sorrow.
Remembering past to hard to bare.
How much more ware and tear?
Days go by as I await the night.
Patiently waiting for no sunlight.
A.Emmi 05/20/18
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 9:17 AM UTC