I think it'd be better that way
Maybe I should just do it this time
The reason?
No matter how hard I try,
I'm still not good enough
Not good enough for my friends
Not good enough for my boyfriend
I'm not even good enough for my own family
Maybe my brother won't resent me when I'm gone
Maybe my sister will understand that I was trying to help her
Maybe my boyfriend will realize that there was someone better.
I should just do it
Because no matter how hard I try
I'll never be good enough
To make the people I care about
Happy....
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 4:22 AM UTC
Nothing
That's what I feel like right now
That's what I know I am to many people
Even to those who claim they care
I know that, eventually, to them
I'll be nothing too
People change
I know they do
But what if everyone else changes
And I don't
I'll still be nothing
Or become nothing
To them too
May 18, 2017
May 18, 2017 at 9:32 PM UTC
Can you talk to me please?
I just need someone to listen...
I need help.
See, the scars on my legs are disappearing.
But I need to know... if that's a good thing...
If that's a good thing, then why?
Why do I feel the need to replace them...
with new ones.
Can you tell me why?
Please can you talk to me?
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 1:29 AM UTC
Tell me.
How would you feel if you knew,
That January of last year I wrote a suicide note and nearly acted on it?
I'd like to know how you would feel.
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 27, 2017 at 2:33 AM UTC
I miss you, I really do
But you obviously don't want to talk to me anymore.
So what's the point?
It hurts, it really does
But I still hope for a "Hey how are you?" Every so often.
Sometimes I miss you so much it physically hurts.
But I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me anymore.
I just wish you would.
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 2:21 PM UTC
I think I'm starting to get bad again
I'm playing with my knives again
I like the feeling of the blade on my skin
I almost sure I'm starting to get bad again
I've picked one knife and used it
I've cut into my own skin more than once
Not deep enough to scar though
I'm definitely getting bad again.
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 11:46 PM UTC
I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend from the start. I should have put down the phone and put in the effort to talk to you. I'm sorry you took me to another state for two weeks and it didn't seem like I was paying any attention to you. I did pay attention to you but when I did you were upset with me. I'm sorry that I was so scared of losing her that I nearly lost you. I'm sorry that while I was there it didn't seem like I was having fun because I was on the phone all the time. I really did enjoy being there with you and I'm very happy I got to spend your 18th birthday with. I guess I just wanna say sorry because I let a relationship get in the way of our friendship and I know it was wrong. Most of all I'm sorry that I'm too scared to apologize to you and that I wrote it here instead.
And now
Thank you, thank you for giving me experiences and adventure that I can't have on the island I grew up on. Thank you for being one if my best friends throughout the years we've known each other and putting up with my crap. Thank you for understanding that this other person made me happier than I have been since you've known me. Thank you for being there to comfort me when all I did was cry because I couldn't figure out which boy I had a crush on and thank you for doing it again when the boy I had a crush on couldn't go to prom with me. Thank you for giving me more than one second chance to prove to you that I wanted to stay in your life.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 7:10 PM UTC
So I meet someone new
A new friend
One that isn’t very different from the the friends I have now
But also
One that is vastly different in every way
I made a new friend
One that I cherish with all my heart
A friend that makes me happy
But not just any type of happy
The new friend I made
Is more than just a friend
She’s mine and I’m hers
And I hope this will never end.
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC
I understand that I came out
But only to a few
My sexuality and drinking
Cause me to worry
about what I say
How I phrase things
But it's driving me mad
I love a boy who is off in college
he'll probably have a girlfriend when he comes back
and
I love a girl who moved away
She was happy and I hate her ex.
The main reason i'm going insane
Because deep down
I know that the chance of me calling either of them mine
is slim to none.
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I drank 2-3 cups of coffee a day
Just to stay awake
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I don’t want to sleep.
I just want to stay awake forever.
Or how would you feel on an opposite day. When I just want to stay asleep forever.
I wonder how you would feel if you knew that every time I look at my wrist I want to cut myself
That’s why I wear a jacket everyday
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I want to get drunk every Friday night
That I constantly crave alcohol now
I wonder how you would feel if you were here to see me like this now
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 10:55 PM UTC