I remember
Wine in solo cups.
lights in May
and smoky breeze.
bodies sliding
in the cold wet
with Lights
in the sky.
Dreamlike,
Druglike.
I remember
sweet, burning
water
down
my
throat.
Fire
falls into
the pit.
Dreamlike,
Drunklike.
I remember
darkness in the
light.
Light in
Nakedness
and soft embrace.
Dreamlike,
Fading.
I remember
kindred spirits
together in
fragmentation.
Dreamlike,
Gone.
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 11:37 AM UTC
push it down until it isn't there
blocked out
blacked out
like those years
2.5
bodies hard and sweaty in the dark
hands and tongues
reaching
searching
2.5
forget and never forgiven
but somehow you do
specks of blue
across my chest
2.5
light the night for us
betrayal
but not betrayed
for not one; but two
2.5
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 9:58 AM UTC
The smell of gasoline and sulfur
fill the emptiness
of the night
that changed me
forever.
Was it ever
that you cared?
Ever cared
that I bled,
just as you never did?
The hand stings my face,
just as
the gun pistol whipped you
to an early grave.
The grave
that you dug
yourself,
dug with hands
so guilty
they could
stain the night.
Could it be?
That
We are the same,
a part of you
is in
a part of me?
Let it never be
that I ever
walk a mile
in your shoes,
for you have had me
running from you
my whole life.
You talk
with your fists,
not with your lips
and
I won’t take it
any longer.
I deserve better than this.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:51 PM UTC
There is a war raging inside you.
A secret genocide;
an internal homicide;
a battle you cannot win.
Where are your allies?
They have all left you
as you spin further down
the drain.
They left you
because
you have left yourself.
As you look into the mirror,
you see a stranger;
I see someone I once knew.
I don’t know you
and
neither do you.
All that is left
is the shell of a man;
sharper than glass,
harder than diamond,
absolutely sepulchral,
and hollow to the core.
I have touched you
and the glass began to crack.
And I can’t help
but wonder
if this was my fault;
your downward spiral.
It’s only a matter of time
before you break
and leave me
to pick up the
pieces.
Is this really worth it?
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:47 PM UTC
I feel the craving
as the smoke fills the room;
it brings me back to January nights;
nights of foggy perception.
and as the smoke climbs into my lungs
it brings me back to
nights with you.
You lit the fire
close to my face
and took
the pain away,
but not long before
you brought it back
again.
I long to taste the sweet smoke
and erase you from my memory.
erase everything,
just for a moment.
I long
for zen
for everything to be okay
again.
I hope I remember to forget,
I hope to forget I remember.
All the bad,
all the good.
Inhale,
hold it in,
and breath you out.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:47 PM UTC
The darkness envelopes me,
as I trek into the forest alone.
I will take this journey
to find myself
away from you,
away from everyone else.
I will embrace the darkness
for no other will
take me into their arms.
In darkness,
I need no light,
I need no guide.
My light,
my guide,
is myself.
I will cut my own thorns away,
I will help myself up from my falls.
I will find my own way
without you.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:46 PM UTC
After all that we’ve been through,
I thought we were okay again.
I thought that it was a change
for the better.
Night
after
Night
had come
and
I missed you
less
and
less.
Suspicions haunted me
dauntingly,
day
after
day.
and each time
I blocked them
they didn’t matter;
you didn’t matter.
I no longer craved
your embrace,
but you gave it
anyway.
I no longer needed you,
but you gave yourself
anyway.
Sunlight came,
and morning broke,
and you took it away.
You pretend
under false pretense,
and lie through
your teeth.
You clench them
and demand it’s me,
not you.
The truth is,
it’s always been
you.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:41 PM UTC
And the mourning dove breaks the dawn of winter’s fall.
It’s call echoes and whispers in the trees,
Rings back into my ears and touches my soul.
The touch of your skin renders my heart and makes me start to forget.
The fire we lit warmed our hearts,
But burned the forest down.
Some things we can’t forget,
Some things we can never remember
And these things that we’re fighting for
Were never there at all.
And maybe you were never really there for me at all.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:40 PM UTC
The heat of the desert
The steady beat of my heart.
stilled by the frigidness of your
breath.
Breath which never uttered
those forbidden words.
Words that sting like icicles,
Slicing through.
This exhalation which knocked
The fragile wind from my
Calloused chest,
inhaled again
and
took it back.
Now the desert sun beams strong
once more,
do my eyes elude me
Or are they flaccid?
Will the wind
come in whispers
and bring the numbness
of the cold back into my lungs?
I can only hope
And anticipate.
Please don’t make me wait
Forever
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 12:39 PM UTC