angeliceyestiredoflies
I'm a 16 year old, female, high-schooler and a proud kiwi( a New Zealander.) I got into spoken word/poetry last year and I got into song-writing and wrote my first song when I was 10. I'm really into the performing arts and musical theatre. I love nature and have recently got into photography. I listen to mostly alternative music and my favourite band is currently imagine dragons. I'm also a little bit of a bookworm. And yeah... that's a little bit about me.
I'm sick of feeling nothing but tired of feeling everything.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
and next time before i give someone my all,
maybe i should ask them if they even want it.
because if there's one thing that i know,
it's that you sure didn't.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
I first met GRIM when i was eleven,
but he'd been following me my whole life,
waiting for the right moment to strike
and wearing a black cloak to pass the time.
When GRIM got bored he would give me his cloak, coming out of the dark and into the light to shadow me in black.
GRIM got me thinking about life,
about death,
the only way to escape was to run and hide in my bed.
But when i awoke from my careless slumber, GRIM was always right there keeping me hostage.
GRIM taught me to be alone,
he taught me fine was my middle name,
white lie,
after white lie,
reality,
lonely,
the only thing i'd ever know.
Soon GRIM decided it was time for a new friend,
Nerve,
He introduced Nerve so i couldn't articulate my words,
Nerve told everyone to go away,
speaking for me,
puppet and puppeteer.
Nerve made me stay up all night,
writing things i'd never finish,
with every project i fell more behind,
GRIM would strangle me so i couldn't breathe,
let alone speak.
Nerve and GRIM made sure i only had to moods **** and okay. Low Highs and Low lows. They convinced me i was okay. But my okay was and is still not okay.
****
I can't do this anymore.
I remember...
the days when GRIM would send me into a a pattern of down hill spiralling,
Eat,
Shower,
Sleep,
Eat,
Shower,
SLEEP,
EAT,
SHOWER.
The only way i could truly escape was to leave the land. But... i meet a new friend,
annie...
annie always said the sun would come out tomorrow but the sun never came...
The rain came with the thunder and the thunder brought the hurricanes,
hurricanes,
tornadoes,
buckling my knees,
deoxynate me,
starving,
don't breathe,
its the only escape.
annie was a good friend,
she charmed me with her optimsim and motivation,
giving me a shining mirror so i could see the future i'd been dreaming of,
annie left,
now all i see in her mirror is GRIM.
so the pattern goes...
Sleep...
FOREVER.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 2:05 AM UTC
within a prison-like classroom.
i learnt the writer used
"i "
to express his or her's feeling of unimportance.
i promise you.
i've been texting my i's in lowercase letters ever since.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
I refuse to let
anyone
treat me like garbage
anymore.
I don't deserve to be constantly belittled
by someone that claims to be my best friend.
I've spent too long getting sick
trying to appease your rollercoaster emotions.
Make me the bad guy all you want.
The only difference between
being on your bad side
and
being on your good side
is whether or not you smile
after insulting me.
Make me the bad guy all you want.
But no one only attracts bad people.
when your friends keep leaving,
the only common denominator is you.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 3:38 AM UTC
I'd pull the stars from the sky,
I'd take the bullet,
I'll be your reverse dementor removing the bad instead of the good,
I'd stay up all night,
I'd cross rivers,
Mountains,
Hills,
Valley's.
I'd thrive,
I'd live,
I'd die for you.
I'd remain unhappy if it gave your life purpose,
I'd walk in your shoes,
I'd take any happiness i have and implant it in your mind.
I'd walk over hot coles,
Ice,
Shattered glass,
Shattered dreams,
Shattered love,
To make you see that i love you more than anything in the world and would do anything to see you live, but i can't do that dead, so i guess you've given me purpose too.
I can't offer you the world but i'll give you more love than you ever dreamed,
It might smother you,
It might empower you,
You might not return it,
But if it sparks the match you need to go on, it makes it worth the risk.
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 7:57 AM UTC
I should let you know instead i'll let you go.
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 5:28 AM UTC
I think i'll miss the sunsets that i'll leave behind,
But i won't miss the fighting or the tears i couldn't cry.
I think I'll miss the road trips and the laughter late at night,
But i won't miss pain from the love i'll never find.
I think i'll miss the singing and the last minute coffee,
But i won't miss the loathing or feeling out of place.
I think i'll miss the way the sun shined even when it blinded mine eye
But i won't miss the words my father battered into me like a baker burning bread.
I think i'll miss stepping into character and the way it felt to be someone else
But i won't miss the complete collapse at the removal of the mask.
I miss the flowers,
I'll miss the life i had planned,
But i won't miss trying to o.d. unsuccessfully or reaching out for help only to not be taken seriously.
See i was just the kind of girl who lived in box, sticking out, pull me up, leave me to rot.
See i was just the kind of girl who lived in coma, only to be waken when you need a donor.
To spill my heart to your charity selflessly, only wanting in return your company, but when i needed them, they just pulled a runner, they thought they only needed me, but i need them too. But i only existed when they needed me to listen cause their was no one there but me.
I think i'd miss a lot though i don't want to live much i'll just live through you and maybe that will be enough.
I'll miss you cause i needed you too. I love you. <3
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
*Dear forest leaves , Do you tell your trees
your "I love you's" before
you drop from the branch ?
Do you tell them "I'll miss
you" before you fall silently
to the ground. Do you ever
look back before touching
gentle earth's damp soil.
Do you make love to the tree
before you wonder off wild
and free dancing on the forest
floor as the winds move you
from the right to the left ?
Do you forest leaves ? If yes ,
then tell me your story
passionately* ~
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 3:59 AM UTC