they shatter
just like you did mine
and you threw it into the ocean
and let it be devoured by sharks
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 8:45 PM UTC
i think about you perpetually.
your name floats through my head
your face painted in my dreams
burned into my tears.
but i am certain,
when you lie in bed
you never think about me,
you unfailingly dream of her
of touching her
of loving her
the way i wish you would still love me
if it weren't for my transgressions.
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 3:23 AM UTC
cuddle me
enclasp me
squeeze me
he says.
to keep me forever.
squeeze me
to remember how you feel in this moment-before i’m gone.
squeeze me
to bathe in our love-powerful like the sun.
squeeze me
to paint our sins in your head.
squeeze me
to let our love envelop our minds and bodies intertwined.
and i can’t get enough
squeeze me
he says
so i do.
Mar 8, 2019
Mar 8, 2019 at 7:45 PM UTC
i can't stop.
i can't lose him.
i can't break his heart
i wont.
but i already have
haven't i?
what happens now is uncertain.
but there's no turning back now
nothing will ever be the same.
this is the one thing i am sure of.
so without thinking
i push my sins away for another day to drown myself in them
i step forwards toward my darkness
or my light
i guess that is for me to decide.
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 10:56 PM UTC
sometimes i lay on my bed-facing the stars
thinking.
thinking..
thinking...
until i dont want to think anymore
until i cant think anymore
until i want it to stop
until i want everything to
just
stop.
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 1:05 AM UTC
i am powerless in the way of your pain-
which drives me to a place of insanity.
since i am impotent-i will promise you instead.
i promise to help you smile on your darkest days.
i promise to be your light where all the goodness has vanished.
i promise to find the words when your tongue has been removed.
i promise to stand when your knees give out.
i promise to be your music when your fingers break.
i promise to be the warm body holding you during a nightmare.
i promise to be your heart when yours is shattered.
i promise to be yours.
always,
i promise.
Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 7:52 PM UTC
she told me my writing is sad
too depressing to read
why don't i just write about happy things?
she said i write as though it's always raining outside
and i told her when it rains
it pours
and when the sun and rainbows are out
there is nothing left of my shattered soul to pour
until another rainstorm.
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 12, 2019 at 1:24 AM UTC
i've began to study him
notice the things he says
the little lies which come out of his mouth
instinctual in order to impress
an automatic response.
tells stories about others, but as if he were doing it
but i don’t get mad
i just know i can’t trust him
i take everything he says with a grain of salt
just the little lies
yes i did this-lie
i didn't kiss her first-lie
why can no one be real?
i asked him if he loved himself
he said no.
but this i knew
was not a lie
but i understand his lies are not for me
to be more impressed with him
it is so he can love and impress himself
i wish he could love himself the way i love him
then maybe he would never lie again
maybe
just maybe
or maybe i just live in a stupid fairy tale
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 1:07 AM UTC
my hands begin to shake
my knees begin to quake
how can i do this without you?
my heart starts to break
the tears rush down my face
how can i love without you?
every step i take
i am unsure of the moves i make
how can i live without you?
how can i do anything
without
you?
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 2:07 AM UTC
you pull the strings of my heart until they break
as if cutting the strings to a guitar,
the metal snapping back and cutting your finger
how much longer until you break my neck and body too ?
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:54 AM UTC