I’m scared I’ll never stop loving you
You’ve long stopped caring, but what if I can’t stop
I’m scared I’ll never outgrow my bad habits
I’ll be grown, a grown woman,
and I won’t stop.
I won’t stop sneaking out in the late
hours of the early morning, shivering
in nothing but your old t-shirt, steadying
my hands enough to light a cigarette, puffing
slowly, reflecting
on the good ole days,
when we were each other's everything, the nicotine
numbing me when I think
about how now, we’re each other's no more.
I won’t stop sitting on the floor, distressed
leaning on the pale empty wall, a single
bottle of scotch, almost slipping
through my numb fingers, sad memories,
regrets,
flashing through my head, I close my
eyes, let my head lean on the wall, think
about what could’ve been.
But is not.
I won’t stop slicing my skin with a
thin razor, my heartbeat
so slow, I’m practically
dead, my mind
racing,
a mile a second.
Disappointment. Failure.
Unwanted. Unloved. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal.
Blood,
running down the sides of my
thighs, so much blood. It won’t stop
bleeding, just like my heart.
I won’t stop loving you.
I won’t stop missing you.
I won’t stop thinking about you. Us. Our love.
Your love was my drug. My tongue tracing
outlines on your skin, drawing
hope for tomorrow, but tasting
nothing but sorrow. We
were each other’s remedy to our own sad
thoughts. You saved me once,
Can you do it again?
(a.f.c)
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 2:40 PM UTC
Something as simple as trust,
Can make a relationship combust.
2/17/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014 at 9:56 AM UTC
But where I am
It's always warm
My soul is sad
Sad like winter
So what I want to know
Is why do I miss the cold?
2/16/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
Winter
is so cold
you're so sad
you feel alone
drink hot cocoa
put on a sweater
go out in the snow
watch the darkness
feel it inside
it's only a season,
but all you want to do,
is cry.
Spring
is the start of something new
everything's bright
everything's fresh
you feel so happy
you feel refreshed
the sun is out
it warms your soul
finally out of
that god **** cold
Summer
is bright and fun
fly a kite
get some sun
go the beach
eat a beach
feel the juices on your chin
go in the water for another swim
stay up late
sleep in later
a new guy,
summer love,
it's almost fatal.
Fall
is full of color
the perfect temperature
relaxing afternoons
drink some tea
cuddle like a cacoon
not too cold
not too hot
go for a run
take a long walk
it's never ending,
the time you're spending..
2/15/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 10:12 AM UTC
Who wants love?
We're all in a race for hate
No peace, no love
Is this supposed to be our fate?
Perfect little kids,
With smiles on their face,
But when they're alone,
Demons fill every space
Please our parents,
please society
Please, make it stop
Demons, cry for me
When will this end?
When our lives are spent?
When there's nothing left,
Except scars on flesh?
2/14/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 10:05 AM UTC
I look to you,
You calm my nerves
Calm within
Calm on the surface
You and me
We signify peace
We represent unity
We are harmony
Together as one
One soul
One mind
When it comes to us,
Everything's fine
2/13/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 10:00 AM UTC
I sat there,
Longing for passion
But your love for me
Comes in rations
I have to gather up my ration points
Like a girl in the depression of war
I can save then for a while and
Get something really big
Or I can spend them here
Or there
It makes me want to spit
I deserve your love
We don’t have to be at war
If I have to work for one more hug,
I might not love you anymore.
2/12/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 13, 2014
Feb 13, 2014 at 1:01 PM UTC
Driving through time,
Reflecting on memories
The flashbacks come
In a spiral of streets
All it takes is a whiff
Of sweet salty air,
To think of that day on the beach,
When love was in the air
Driving through time,
I think of you, It's
Enough to make
Me carsick.
2/11/14
(a.f.c)
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 11, 2014 at 12:47 PM UTC
A slave to the memories
Bound by the ankles
My mind is always overseas
The flashbacks take over me.
What the **** you take me for?
My mind and heart are always at war
You don’t even have a clue
I’m gonna go tie a noose
Hang myself over all my troubles,
Try to save me,
don’t be subtle.
You can cry and you can try,
Hey, don’t stress it,
I’ve already been dead inside.
Ain’t that a kick?
It don’t even matter,
So when my soul starts to shatter,
Don’t act like you didn’t know,
Saig will come and steal your soul.
(a.f.c)
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 10:30 AM UTC
Babe your love Is my strength
Without da babe
Id be a piece of human
Useless tossed around
Like dead skin cells
But you feed me your love so its okay
Feb 6, 2014
Feb 6, 2014 at 1:47 PM UTC