I loved him more than was allowed
More than whatever was acceptable.
And though I tried to suppress it,
I had no shame in this love.
Should I ever feel guilty
For learning how to love so genuinely?
So selflessly?
Few times had I done it before.
I do believe I loved you.
I do believe I did.
Aug 26, 2022
Aug 26, 2022 at 3:50 AM UTC
My greatest fear
Is that you will find your own
In my love for you.
That I could some way, some how
Love you too much,
That you no longer know
How to receive it.
And then what shall become of me?
For what else do I know,
Than to love you?
I love you.
I love you.
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 24, 2019 at 12:21 AM UTC
I despise you and my love for you,
For a love like this can not be true.
Infatuated by you,
As I should no longer be,
Yet I would die for you,
You just as my friend.
I resent you and everything that you are,
Every kiss I want to place on each of your scars,
The things that I hate,
Have me dreaming at night,
And it is only you
I will have at life's end.
I refuse to believe our love could be real,
Everything I know, everything I feel,
Could it all be true?
Or is it just a game?
I love you, my darling,
I can not pretend.
I can not find a thing that keeps you in my heart,
But I know that nothing could ever keep us apart.
I love you, like heaven,
Like what I could not see,
You are my world,
Until our bones descend.
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 1:28 AM UTC
Fall into these arms,
My darling.
Rest your head on my chest.
Never mind the words you spoke
That hurt me so,
I am aware of only your pain.
Under my breath
I repeat the prayer
For God to take it from you
And lay it on my shoulders,
To allow you silence of mind
For just a few moments.
Close your eyes now,
My sweetest.
There is no one left.
Just you and I
In a night of still darkness.
Fall asleep now
On my breast
And be still,
Be still,
As I breathe you in
And you breath in I,
In a long-waited quiet calm,
With nothing but two hearts beating,
And one broken soul.
May 21, 2017
May 21, 2017 at 2:59 AM UTC
Was loving you
Intended to be
The thing
To make me happy?
Or was it only
A reassurance
That I
Was still able
To feel?
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC
I waited in agony
For years to be yours.
I waited in pain
For the day I could love you
Without loving from a distance.
But no one told me
That loving you
Would hurt just as badly
As when I could not.
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017 at 12:30 PM UTC
You hurt me
More than you realize,
And I love you
More than you will ever know.
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 10:53 PM UTC
I love you.
With all of my being I love you.
To take a bullet for you,
I would not hesitate.
My only request would be
To please aim for the brain
And not the heart,
So that my heart remains in tact
To continue loving you
For as long as the sky stretches
And as deeply as the ocean rests.
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 6:07 PM UTC
I love the way the sun rises
And peaks through my curtains,
Casting sharp figures of light on my ceiling,
For it reminds me
Of the flecks of white
That fill the gaps of blue
In your eyes.
The sun pouring through my window
Guarantees that you are the first thought
To cross my mind
In the early morning.
It promises that every day
Before I even rise,
I have thought of you
And your mirroring freckles
On either side of your face
Right above your lips,
And of the chip on your tooth
That reveals itself each time you laugh
Making me thankful
That I have found the one
I want to share my life with
And the one I want to fall asleep to
Every night.
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 3:54 PM UTC
Leave me.
Please leave me.
Because I could never leave you.
But I know
That as long as we are together
I will only ever keep hurting you.
I love you.
Jon, I love you so much.
I wake up, and I think of you
Before I even think about breathing.
I would die for you
Without hesitation.
I really do mean that.
But every day I wake up
And I resent myself more and more
For the many ways
That I have hurt you.
Hurting you
Was the very last thing
I ever intended to do.
I would die before
I ever intended to hurt you.
And yet I have done it.
And continue to do it.
I don't deserve you.
I can't even pretend to deserve you.
Please.
Please leave me
Before I ever hurt you again.
Oh my sweetest,
I have never loved anyone
The way I love you.
Mar 5, 2017
Mar 5, 2017 at 8:25 PM UTC