amy-blanchette - Hello Poetry

I told myself not to feel You came out of nowhere, i laughed at the irony of our collision into an awkward yet somehow fitting setting You drew me in on every word every line oozing with sweet sticky promises Promises that you almost give up on No one knows What I want How I feel How I view the world What holds me back But you… You ******* got me Unguarded Unafraid To say how I truly feel Except; when it comes to us I can still feel your hands on my face Inky eyes locked with mine Intertwined, bound, and tied to each other motionless We could have stayed there Forever Yet, we didn’t Weekends turned every other Which then became maybes My body no longer stamped by the passion you left behind My heart no longer topped off by the hopes of seeing you No more countdowns Now I count how long it takes for the next one to break me down Tearing through my heart like a giant Christmas present that no one ends up needing Placed in the corner with the others to be regifted Leaving behind filaments of gift wrap and fancy ribbon, used to hide the well intentioned gift No one wants the gift of a heart these days They want houses, cars, well oiled and machine-like bodies that crawl to them, and classy like a sorority sister at a keg party (who went to Amherst) The heart is overdone The passion that at one time exhumed from our bodies was now beginning to fade into a pitch black abyss All that is left is a few memories of Saturdays well-spent Conversations that went on for hours And a heart that once again, Has been drained and bled dry to stop the very beating that you caused All that’s left is an empty shell One that i’ll pick up, dust off, wash out and pour myself into again… This one ******* hurts

0

Jul 2, 2018

Jul 2, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC

No Feelings...

I told myself not to feel You came out of nowhere, i laughed at the irony of our collision into an awkward yet somehow fitting setting You drew me in on every word every line oozing with sweet sticky promises Promises that you almost give up on No one knows What I want How I feel How I view the world What holds me back But you… You ******* got me Unguarded Unafraid To say how I truly feel Except; when it comes to us I can still feel your hands on my face Inky eyes locked with mine Intertwined, bound, and tied to each other motionless We could have stayed there Forever Yet, we didn’t Weekends turned every other Which then became maybes My body no longer stamped by the passion you left behind My heart no longer topped off by the hopes of seeing you No more countdowns Now I count how long it takes for the next one to break me down Tearing through my heart like a giant Christmas present that no one ends up needing Placed in the corner with the others to be regifted Leaving behind filaments of gift wrap and fancy ribbon, used to hide the well intentioned gift No one wants the gift of a heart these days They want houses, cars, well oiled and machine-like bodies that crawl to them, and classy like a sorority sister at a keg party (who went to Amherst) The heart is overdone The passion that at one time exhumed from our bodies was now beginning to fade into a pitch black abyss All that is left is a few memories of Saturdays well-spent Conversations that went on for hours And a heart that once again, Has been drained and bled dry to stop the very beating that you caused All that’s left is an empty shell One that i’ll pick up, dust off, wash out and pour myself into again… This one ******* hurts

45

Today started the same way Get up Pretend I'm okay Dress up Look happy Happy So happy I can't stop smiling It hurts It hurts to smile It hurts to laugh It hurts to pretend I don't feel No one understands how I feel You make me feel All that I try to block I could talk for hours To you And never end the discussion About Kipling or Plath And the clowns that troll our city in the late night Politics and the Alt-right The naysayers and degenerates How we really feel All that we hide In our day to day All that we are in every way Embrace it all Swallow it all Pretend it doesn't exist As we watch the other fall It's our fault Really We should have known But how could we ignore When it felt like home Our bodies lying intertwined, as if meant to connect like the missing piece to a puzzle My head on your chest, listening to every heartbeat Feeling as if that's exactly where I'm meant to be in that very place and time Your hands interlocked in my tiny hands as you laugh and tell me it's ok They're cute Our legs tied together like twine As our lips press up against one another's With every kiss, you inhale more of me Until I cannot breathe I'm gasping for air, yet I want more and more of you Your big strong hands grazing over my body, groping my ******* grabbing my face, ******* in my lips Intoxicating me God I ******* want you so bad Everything about you makes me want you You make me wet with your words You touch me and drive me crazy Your tongue sets me on fire And every time I fall for you a little more Even though my head may say no, my heart wouldn't listen And my heart's a ******* *****

0

May 21, 2018

May 21, 2018 at 7:15 AM UTC

Pretend I'm Okay

Today started the same way Get up Pretend I'm okay Dress up Look happy Happy So happy I can't stop smiling It hurts It hurts to smile It hurts to laugh It hurts to pretend I don't feel No one understands how I feel You make me feel All that I try to block I could talk for hours To you And never end the discussion About Kipling or Plath And the clowns that troll our city in the late night Politics and the Alt-right The naysayers and degenerates How we really feel All that we hide In our day to day All that we are in every way Embrace it all Swallow it all Pretend it doesn't exist As we watch the other fall It's our fault Really We should have known But how could we ignore When it felt like home Our bodies lying intertwined, as if meant to connect like the missing piece to a puzzle My head on your chest, listening to every heartbeat Feeling as if that's exactly where I'm meant to be in that very place and time Your hands interlocked in my tiny hands as you laugh and tell me it's ok They're cute Our legs tied together like twine As our lips press up against one another's With every kiss, you inhale more of me Until I cannot breathe I'm gasping for air, yet I want more and more of you Your big strong hands grazing over my body, groping my ******* grabbing my face, ******* in my lips Intoxicating me God I ******* want you so bad Everything about you makes me want you You make me wet with your words You touch me and drive me crazy Your tongue sets me on fire And every time I fall for you a little more Even though my head may say no, my heart wouldn't listen And my heart's a ******* *****

56

My chenille duvet covers me Consumes me It has swallowed me up again and let me escape To a world where the bills don’t exist My homework is finished The dishes don’t need to be done The cats are fed and fast asleep My son obeys to go to school and listen to his teachers My chenille duvet hides my reality The reality that The bills still aren’t paid The dishes are still there The homework keeps piling up The cats are at the foot of my bed, begging to be fed...again My son has yet again skipped school and tried to come home, not knowing that i am under my duvet My chenille duvet allows me to feel no pain It allows me to forget Even if for a little while Under my chenille duvet, the world is silent My feet are warm My mind stops racing My heart stops beating as if ravaged through my chest I can breathe Every day gets a little bit harder to leave my duvet My old ragged gray soft duvet I long for you during the day On the days when i am in class and don’t have my homework to hand in, because i am so tired On the days i get a call from my sons school asking where he is, when i know i dropped him off On the days i get home, and the dishes are still there On the days i get home from a 12 hour day, and realize i forgot to buy cat food again On the days i come home and cringe going up the stairs as i pray they didn’t turn my electric off again. My gray soft fuzzy duvet, I miss you Why can’t you console me all the time? I don’t want you to leave me I need you to stay and make it all go away

0

May 1, 2016

May 1, 2016 at 9:17 PM UTC

My Chenille Duvet Covers Me

My chenille duvet covers me Consumes me It has swallowed me up again and let me escape To a world where the bills don’t exist My homework is finished The dishes don’t need to be done The cats are fed and fast asleep My son obeys to go to school and listen to his teachers My chenille duvet hides my reality The reality that The bills still aren’t paid The dishes are still there The homework keeps piling up The cats are at the foot of my bed, begging to be fed...again My son has yet again skipped school and tried to come home, not knowing that i am under my duvet My chenille duvet allows me to feel no pain It allows me to forget Even if for a little while Under my chenille duvet, the world is silent My feet are warm My mind stops racing My heart stops beating as if ravaged through my chest I can breathe Every day gets a little bit harder to leave my duvet My old ragged gray soft duvet I long for you during the day On the days when i am in class and don’t have my homework to hand in, because i am so tired On the days i get a call from my sons school asking where he is, when i know i dropped him off On the days i get home, and the dishes are still there On the days i get home from a 12 hour day, and realize i forgot to buy cat food again On the days i come home and cringe going up the stairs as i pray they didn’t turn my electric off again. My gray soft fuzzy duvet, I miss you Why can’t you console me all the time? I don’t want you to leave me I need you to stay and make it all go away

35

You could never truly know pain Until you break someone's heart Tear through their callous flesh Rip them apart Soak their mind in web woven promises Forever is a long time anyway Caress them with their last good bye On knees, awaiting for the answer The one you can't bear to utter Through tear stained cheeks I say to you I'm sorry, i loved you But now we are through.

0

Feb 8, 2015

Feb 8, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC

Pain in love

You could never truly know pain Until you break someone's heart Tear through their callous flesh Rip them apart Soak their mind in web woven promises Forever is a long time anyway Caress them with their last good bye On knees, awaiting for the answer The one you can't bear to utter Through tear stained cheeks I say to you I'm sorry, i loved you But now we are through.

13

They creep in silence these tangled thoughts of mine. Quiet contemplating thoughts and no restriction of time The what if's and why haven't I's? They chew you up like a new found obsession Then spit you out leave you second guessing Cleanse your mind of all assurance Build you up then **** your endurance kind of glad I learned my lesson. Never let your mind control the weapon Self doubt

0

Dec 19, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 at 2:12 PM UTC

To write or not to write...

They creep in silence these tangled thoughts of mine. Quiet contemplating thoughts and no restriction of time The what if's and why haven't I's? They chew you up like a new found obsession Then spit you out leave you second guessing Cleanse your mind of all assurance Build you up then **** your endurance kind of glad I learned my lesson. Never let your mind control the weapon Self doubt

10

Stuck in that awkward state of mind Not sure what way to turn Keep it going Or let it burn Like a glowing ember on a log Walk your mind through that dense fog. ..

0

Dec 19, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 at 1:45 PM UTC

The Middle

Stuck in that awkward state of mind Not sure what way to turn Keep it going Or let it burn Like a glowing ember on a log Walk your mind through that dense fog. ..

6

If I let this go, what will become of me? Five long years and still I hurt Afraid to trust Not knowing where this new relationship will go. Should I drop this wall? No matter how hard it is to see you try and assure me I won't be hurt... I don't believe you... Only time will tell me for sure Perhaps this is something I need to endure. Please don't hurt me. I may not make it through another heartbreak... To give my all, my whole heart, to have it ripped out and tossed away like yesterday... I just won't make it through again..

0

Nov 25, 2014

Nov 25, 2014 at 10:32 AM UTC

If I let it go...

If I let this go, what will become of me? Five long years and still I hurt Afraid to trust Not knowing where this new relationship will go. Should I drop this wall? No matter how hard it is to see you try and assure me I won't be hurt... I don't believe you... Only time will tell me for sure Perhaps this is something I need to endure. Please don't hurt me. I may not make it through another heartbreak... To give my all, my whole heart, to have it ripped out and tossed away like yesterday... I just won't make it through again..

12

I walk up the stairs so slow and afraid This is not the place I used to know Not the way I remember I expect to see your smiling face waiting for me to take your hand and bring you to that place You tried to tell me that your work here was done I smiled at you and told you how silly you were to think the cancer won You were so strong so nonchalant I hope you know you'll always have a special place in my heart When I got that call that day, I swear my heart stopped your daughter loves you more than life itself I only wish I could've helped Taken her pain away All I can do is be there for her Life is short, we say this all the time make sure you love yours before you run out of time. R.I.P. Victor Ponte

0

Nov 18, 2014

Nov 18, 2014 at 11:26 PM UTC

Not the place I used to know

I walk up the stairs so slow and afraid This is not the place I used to know Not the way I remember I expect to see your smiling face waiting for me to take your hand and bring you to that place You tried to tell me that your work here was done I smiled at you and told you how silly you were to think the cancer won You were so strong so nonchalant I hope you know you'll always have a special place in my heart When I got that call that day, I swear my heart stopped your daughter loves you more than life itself I only wish I could've helped Taken her pain away All I can do is be there for her Life is short, we say this all the time make sure you love yours before you run out of time. R.I.P. Victor Ponte

19

Ashamed .... Afraid... Betrayed ... That's how I felt.. A love so pure that turned so volatile, a Molotov cocktail...stirred but not shaken. Waiting to explode in your precious hands. How does it feel now? You can only cage an owl for a moment. They were born to soar alone. You caused so much pain deep inside Those scars were nothing worse than the mental clarity you took from me. You took me away from me Chasing through the streets trying to find me again... You won't ever catch her She won't let you Not this time... No Not this time Isolated Alone Abandoned Alcoholic That's what you are... How do you feel now?

0

Nov 7, 2014

Nov 7, 2014 at 11:11 AM UTC

My voice, My strength

Ashamed .... Afraid... Betrayed ... That's how I felt.. A love so pure that turned so volatile, a Molotov cocktail...stirred but not shaken. Waiting to explode in your precious hands. How does it feel now? You can only cage an owl for a moment. They were born to soar alone. You caused so much pain deep inside Those scars were nothing worse than the mental clarity you took from me. You took me away from me Chasing through the streets trying to find me again... You won't ever catch her She won't let you Not this time... No Not this time Isolated Alone Abandoned Alcoholic That's what you are... How do you feel now?

24

The reign of My heart The wrath of my soul; bared clear and cold The strength of your disinterest. Your unwillingness to mature for sake of sanity The lies The exasperating conclusion That you are not for me. You lied. I hate that **** I'm over it.

0

Oct 28, 2014

Oct 28, 2014 at 11:05 PM UTC

lust or luck?

The reign of My heart The wrath of my soul; bared clear and cold The strength of your disinterest. Your unwillingness to mature for sake of sanity The lies The exasperating conclusion That you are not for me. You lied. I hate that **** I'm over it.

11