She holds me while I rest uncomfortably
She grabs my hand when I'm lost in dark places.
Her fiery spirit reignites the embers in my cold soul.
With a kiss on the cheek she gives me the wings
That I'll leave this dreadful mortal space with.
She makes smooth the splinters in my conscience.
When I kissed her again
The bed of nails I was doomed to fall on
Was transformed into a field of her favorite flowers.
She takes away my itch for the volatile substances I crave so badly.
She changed me.
She makes me who I am.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 8:14 PM UTC
The only part of my face that was even remotely recognizable was the space where my eyes should have been.
Years of unceasing tears had washed them away until there was nothing left but two matching deep dark and bottomless pools filled with murky black water that ****** me right in until I was swirling and spinning pulled deeper and deeper.............like water rushing down a drain, rainfall spilling into a gutter.
I was falling, flailing and there was no way to stop it.
No way to claw my back.
No way to spare myself the endless GRIEF.
I was drowning.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 12:23 AM UTC
*When I was small
I walked on fairy dust and
my dreams were as tall
as skyscrapers towering
above the universe
inside of me, was the galaxy.
I was born of the cosmos,
full of light and love
passionate in my quest to
give this to others.
But as I grew my star began to fade,
stars need love and light to survive
and deprived of both my blazing fire
transformed into weak candlelight.
At school I had learnt it was easier
to hide your light
than to stand out as different
and be extinguished in an instant.
So I kept myself to myself
at the back of the class,
knowing the answers but not
shouting them out.
I daydreamed, and doodled
stars on the corners
of my books, all the while
I could hear the universe
calling out to me to trust,
that we are all born of this
cosmic stardust.*
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
As you held my gaze to yours for the first time,
I tried to stop myself from looking away from your loving gaze.
As you held my hand for the first time,
I tried to resist letting go and wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans.
As you held my body close to yours for the first time,
I tried to calm down to stop the rapid beating of my heart.
As you press your lips against mine for the first time,
I tried to stop myself from lifting one of my feet off the ground.
As you start showing your eternal love to me for the first time,
I tried to stop myself from shying away from you as no one has ever loved me as much as you.
{ E.I }
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
Ava holds me tight in her delicate skinny arms,
And whisper perfectionin my ears.
Ava comes to me at night, she fills me with dreams and leaves a kiss in my mind.
She breaks into pieces, like a flower loess its Patals as winter arrives.
Lost I call out to her, not a whisper.
Somewhere between obsession and perfection I lost control.
All dreams were illusions, illusions which made me quietly bleed.
And now I walk a blurry path unsure and lost, where the only exit is death
.
As I slowly dig my grave, I sit and watch time fly by, as my soul run away, my existence begs for redemption, begs me not to give up, but I'm already far to gone.
Ava penetrates your mind and controls your life.
Ava is a liar
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 12:05 AM UTC