No one and nothing can bring me back from tipping over the edge.
Everyday I fought a battle with every last ounce in me even though my whole body screamed at me not to and to give in and surrender.
Someone has to win this war and I have a pretty good idea of who it is.
Fighting with every atom of my being just to do a simple thing as living.
We were all once happy children with big hearts but the devil came over to a selected few and stole our souls.
My happy ending is near and though it might be a sad and wasted life I lead I want to die in peace and happiness.
For the first time I am speaking for myself instead of through the misguided quotes of books and song lyrics.
That's a good ending.
To find your voice and then die.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 3:48 PM UTC
Saturday morning were spent swallowed up in books,
Instead of surfing channels,
searching for a show to try and satisfy my thirst for adventure,
Yet each one was a satisfactory and savor-less as the last.
Instead, I lost myself in novels,
Books filled by dauntless tales
Of daring heroes and damsels in distress,
Of dreams who dared to dreams,
Of champions decided their own destiny,
Not deterred by the disheartened and the disturbed.
But these glory days faded away
because apparently growing up meant
Giving up my golden dreams
To gluttonous people who tried to play god.
I sank low into my self pity,
Sadness slowly swept over my thoughts
Sorrow spat upon my sorry face
As I slowly submitted to the cold surrender of solitude.
Soon all music became mediocre,
Each melody, meaningless.
Mirrors became mortifying, for I could see the merciless monster inside me
turn me into a mental mausoleum;
It's mocking hammered through my malleable mind,
And bombard me with a myriad of maddening thoughts.
And so I isolated myself on a insomniac island,
alone with the insidious thoughts,
Inventing an imaginary monster to
inspire my icy heart.
Alas, there crept a creature, created in the cobwebbed corners of my mind,
cold and cryptic -
A creature I couldn't control.
It began setting siege against me,
Attacking the architecture of my mental mind mansion,
Tearing through my train of thought
Creating chaos that completely corrupted and corroded my consciousness.
And the beast's name is Anxiety.
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 4:27 PM UTC
Smiles that are reflected
like cracked glass mirror.
An image of falsehood projected out.
Run your fingers along the cracks
But don't get too close
Lest your soul become ruined
by that
cracked glass mirror smile.
Yours fingers run along
like lifeless apologies.
Wishing to soothe and fix
what can't be
but once was.
You snag and trip.
Run along now.
Before the shards pick you up
and hold you.
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 4:16 PM UTC