amber-jade
Australian
I want to be a journalist and a photographer in the long run, but until then I want to work at blockbuster and learn all I can. I'm a loner, because Isolation is bliss. Life isn't hard, other people just make life hard. However when your all alone and all you do is work you ass off to get where you want to go life is a dream. / My favourite school subjects are English, Maths and Art. I love Movies, Music, Books and Food.
I still feel every touch, every lingering kiss, your body pressed up against mine.
I hate it. I hate you.
Nights like this, when it all just comes back, this is when I want to die.
I want to get in the shower and just scrub my skin until I feel clean… But I know it won’t help because this feeling isn’t skin deep. It’s burnt into me.
I want to go and brush my teeth until it hurts and I can’t bear it any more and then keep going just to get your taste out of my mouth… But I know it won’t help because this feeling isn’t skin deep. It’s soaked into me.
I want to go and find that god **** bed and dowse it is gasoline and burn it like the gates of hell… But I know it won’t help because this feeling isn’t an item I can destroy. It’s tattooed in my brain.
I want you to go and find you and make you feel as bad as I do. I want to see you begging in tears for this to go away, and when you are all I’ll say is…. This feeling can’t be taken away.
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 9:01 AM UTC
We all talk about that inspiration,
That voice in our head,
Talking to us,
Shouting like a Sargent,
Then whispering like a butterfly,
What some refer to as their muse.
But what about that feeling,
The one you get that makes you want to create,
The one that vibrates in your fingertips,
Then starts making your brain run for ideas at light speed,
The feeling that grabs hold of your soul and brings it to life.
The feeling that begins,
Even before your inspiration is there,
The one that can last for days until you find your muse,
The feeling that wakes you up in the night,
The one that pushes you to crazy lengths,
It has no sense of time,
All it has is an intense want,
A need,
Like a baby needs its mother.
This is the thing I live for,
This is when a true masterpiece is created,
For only then do we have the true desire for something great,
Only then are we pushed to our full extent,
Only then have I experienced such a fierce flame,
Small embers which turned into a roaring fire.
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 8:59 AM UTC
Shall I compare thee to a dying cat?
Though art more helpless and more deafening:
Rough winds do shake the tassels of your curling mat,
And your piercing voice hath all to high a range:
Sometimes too loud the voice of torture cries,
And often his mute button is left in pieces;
And every hair on the back of your neck begins to rise,
By fright or by pain increases;
But thy pitchy voice shall not die,
Nor loosen it's grip around my throat;
Nor shall death come as you moan and cry,
Even when you start to quote;
As I lay me down to sleep I pray thee lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake I pray thee lord my soul to take.
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 8:19 AM UTC
Where were you?
When I needed you most.
Where are you?
When I need you now.
I'll tell you where you're not,
By my side,
With me.
Why'd you go?
Why'd you leave?
Leave me alone,
All on my own,
When I need a friend,
With a hand to leand,
You turn your back,
And walk away.
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013 at 8:49 PM UTC
Alone,
Walking all alone,
Most would feel lonely,
Some would want company,
But I strive for the lonesome ness.
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013 at 8:44 PM UTC
You traded me my innocence
For some stuff that made no sense
Until I was old enough to see
Just what you did to me
But by then it was too late
You already broke though the gate
I gave away my lock and key
Only now do I know it was stupid of me
Now I feel gross
Sick
*****
Infected
Because I left myself unprotected.
So did you get what you want?
Did you get what you need?
Because you certainly took it all from me.
Jan 27, 2013
Jan 27, 2013 at 10:53 PM UTC
And when we become someone else, someone we're not, when we slip into a different skin and act against our views and morals do we truly see the person we are, the only person we could be, but by then we are tainted with a sort of corruption, we know we'll never forget what it is we have become and that shame of turning into something so ****** something we always said we'd never be, that is the shame we hold heaviest on our souls. The shame we'll take to the grave, and even then, once we're dead and gone, six feet under, we will still suffer in silence of that time so long ago that we let ourselves down, and gave life to a beast.
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 5:18 AM UTC
I hate you so much,
It makes me sick to my stomach,
So sick that,
I wish I never had done it,
Just wanting to cry,
And sleep all day,
To switch off,
Or just to hibernate.
It's all my fault,
How could I have been so stupid,
Such a silly little girl,
Now makes me want to hurl.
Please just make this go away,
Please remove this from my stupid head,
I just want to be better,
To feel alright,
Because I know justice is too far out of reach,
So I just want to forget,
Just want to curl up in in the safety of my OWN bed.
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 7:12 AM UTC
I feel her fury pulsating through the whole house,
I hear her enraged screams bouncing off the walls,
I smell an overpowering burning scent,
I taste my salty tears running like a shower,
I see a reflection of a girl with black running down her face trying to still look like she's okay,
I feel my whole body tremble with fear,
I smell a sick powerful pride radiating from the monster,
I taste my dinner crawling back up my throat,
I hear voices in my head telling me to go, to run, to never look back,
I see myself trapped, locked in iron chains forever.
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012 at 2:18 AM UTC
I felt my heart start to race and a tingling sensation run through me
I the over powering music blasting in my ears putting me in a trance
I smelt an aroma of caramel and vanilla candles burning, fighting each other to be dominant
I taste electric tingles dancing in my mouth, running down my throat and settling in my stomach
I saw darkness taking over me, big black clouds hovering over my eyes
Then I heard my door being ripped open and the candles blew out
I felt my eyes snap open and my favourite place slowly faded away
I saw my mum furious as ever
I knew my favourite place, my state of mind, my trance was gone.
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012 at 2:10 AM UTC