amanda-woolley
Birmingham
Hi all. I am a poet of 15 years. I have been writing since i was ten years old as a way to release my thoughts and emotions. I must warn all of you that most of my poetry is dark, contains suicide and/or murder and is not suitable for those of a delicate disposition. If however blood, gore, death and sorrow are definitely your thing; then hey welcome to the dark side, i have cookies.
Look at how wonderful life can be
everyone seems to tell me
i cant blame them, its my own teaching
i wonder if they know its lies im preaching.
I dont feel happy, stuck in this flat
but of course i dont tell them that.
I tell them to fight with every last breath
I wonder if they know how much i want to embrace death.
I'm so trapped in whats supposed to be a normal life
with a nice flat, destined to become someones wife
with a few kids and a picket fence
I wonder if he knows that for me it would all just be pretence.
I just want to run away
Chase the sunset on a harley everyday.
Stop all the charade of a happy mandy
I wonder if i'll ever feel free.
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 10:13 PM UTC
I haven't been here a lot, I chose to escape this world for a while,
so I could control the feelings of hate behind my smile.
I was hurt in this world so into my daydreams I ran away,
in the shadow of the trees I hid from the harsh light of the day.
Whilst I was gone did you miss me?
Or was I just another forgotten memory?
Did my face haunt your worst nightmares?
Or did you think 'Shes gone but who cares?'
I hate this world I have ventured back too
I gave up all the fantasies and dreams to be with you.
But why should you care you ask? It's not your life thats dying,
At night in bed it's not you that is crying
I paint a plastic smile on my face whenever you're near,
and I pour sweet idolizing words in your ear.
I let you treat me like a slave because then at least I'm noticed by you,
but yet still you'll only be happy on the day my lips turn blue.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 8:54 PM UTC
Mr Peeler, Mr Peeler, why do you creep into my room at night,
and feed nightmares into my brain to give me such a fright?
Didnt your mommy ever tell you its naughty
to scare a little girl like me?
Mr Peeler, Mr Peeler, why do you hide in the shadows of my room
and why is there a stench of doom?
Why, once you've pulled my eyelids from my face,
do you run away as if you are in disgrace?
Mr Peeler why, with my eyelids did you make pretty butterflies
once you had ripped them from my eyes?
Why mr peeler did you have to be so cruel
and never let me sleep at all?
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Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
I thought I was past it, the horror and the lies,
the hurt,the pain, all the things that made me cry.
I thought I could take the humilation of bullying jibes
and still want to be alive
But last night you tore open the wounds, made me bleed
and gave me more scars that I dont need.
The pain you inflicted caused more damage then you'll ever know,
maybe to escape soon into the ground i'll go.
Your insults didnt just create new wounds you know,
but also opened up the old scars I never show.
but I geuss you just dont really care,
because you never like to play fair.
Now I'm fighting hard to stay sane,
and trying to ignore my pain.
Somewhere along the way I lost my will to survive,
now I really dont want to be alive.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 8:35 PM UTC
I hear the laughter and the rounds of applause.
Why did no one tell me there was no get out clause?
Everyones cheering because I've saved the day.
I smile graciously but I really want to say:
I'm not a hero even though I rescued you.
Helping people is just something I tend to do.
Although I'm superhuman, I am allowed to make a mistake.
I'm just so normal that sometimes I feel like a fake.
Dont look to me when you need to be strong,
or when your life starts to go wrong.
Remember this, its something I want you to know.
I'm just a girl, you're the real hero.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 8:13 PM UTC
'O' piteous hate,
'O' hateful pity.
Watch as chaos ruins the city.
Watch as I,
with gun held high,
Shoot my lover between the eyes,
and smile as he dies.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 8:08 PM UTC
It’s a Saturday night and yet again,
you walk in and act the same.
Coz you’ve been drinking as I can tell,
I'm surprised you’re not locked in a police cell.
Good old Jack other people say,
he’s the life of the party every single day.
He can drink us all to the floor,
I wish they could see you when you walk through the door.
Every day you get mad because we’ve got no whiskey,
then you start to take it out on me.
You never really seem to care,
that you’re a drunk and you’re asleep on the stairs.
I try so hard to help you to bed,
and my reward is for you to punch me in the head.
So tonight once you’ve lay down to rest,
I’ll just go **** myself, its for the best.
And the next day when you’re more sober,
And go to the bathroom to fight your hangover.
You’ll see my body on the bathroom floor,
I’ve got about 10 minutes to live and then I'm no more.
You’ll hold me so close as I lie down to die,
'Please don't leave me' you’ll say as you start to cry.
I promise i'll change, I wont ever hurt you again,
my reply? 'its too late now, you caused me pain.'
So now as I draw my last breath,
and start to wonder if there’s life after death.
I look for one last time at your face.
and with my last words I’ll say you’re a disgrace.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC
I see you in the corner crying all alone,
begging and pleading with me to come home.
Telling me you've missed me and that things have changed,
And that you'll never touch alcohol again.
Although you swear you've changed I know you're telling lies,
you should learn to hide the evidnce better next time.
Because I can see empty whiskey botles on the floor,
and ***** on your shirt as well as a ***** stain by the door.
The ties to our relationship you've just managed to sever,
because you've not changed you've lost me forever.
So now as I walk away from you and everything that went wrong,
all I can do is sing this part of a good song:
'And you can cry all you want to I don't care how much you'll invest yourself in me
We're not working out'
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 7:50 PM UTC
Two wounded healers finally able to see,
he removed his blindfold same time as me.
Shot down, scarred and battle weary
still able to march on fearlessly.
Chasewater showed an answer we didn't expect,
and showed us a purpose we won't forget.
The purpose we didn't see, the one we couldn't believe,
awakened from the moment all hope began to leave.
We thought the night held a different surprise,
didn't realise it would open our eyes.
Call it an awakening, two heros come alive,
not given what we want but what we needed to survive
We have realised who we are to each other
and have learnt now that we are more than sister and brother
We are the angel on each others shoulder whispering keep going on
we are the crutch holding up one another keeping our friend strong
We are the sword and the shield, the key to the door
both of us defeated? Nevermore
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 7:14 PM UTC
Her arms are covered in ink,
doodles of barbaric things sprouting forth, like venus fly traps ready to pounce.
and words are branded on her arms like red scars.
Ink stains that scream hateful things
Not a single shred of skin is left untarnished
the ink is a cover up of her identity.
hiding her flesh with poisonous writing
the thoughts inside finally on show.
she covers her arms with long sleeve tops
to hide the hateful ink from the world
trying to keep some dignity of her own
yet still drawing childish hateful things on her arms
her face is blank, her eyes are emotionless
as she scrawls poetry and images on her arms till she draws blood.
she is just an emotionless zombie, an empty shell.
no longer existing in this world or belonging in it.
and thats how she'll always stay, forever here in body alone but never in mind or spirit. and always the unanswered question 'why do you do this to yourself?' floats around like an unrestful spirit.
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 7:05 PM UTC