"If you find someone who turns your pain into poetry, don't let them go."
We sat under some stars the other night,
Shared a smoke and some ****** wine
You played me original melodies,
Those of which I felt were about me
Me, myself and the sick things I've inflicted on such a lovely broken heart
I can honestly say I've never wanted someone in this way
I can honestly say I've never felt this type of burning sensation when someone leaves my way
You're the most comfortable thing I've ever found, the most terrifying
I can look at you and know your heart is an ocean cove just like mine
The pull will never cease
I often have a reoccurring dream,
You're this hideous sea creature with deep eyes that gleam
The woman I was with thought you were trying to drown our boat in the crazy cove we were in
Your look tore me at the seams, I pushed her off and we walked on land as one.
I don't ******* know.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 11:30 AM UTC
A broken past molds us into what we call our present mask
and all that lingers and basks,
either feeding positive tasks or manifesting a present past
(It makes no sense, don't ask)
Attraction is distraction
Unsolvable fractions
Needing emotional extraction
Mind dribble dance
Lost in a trance, never had a chance
So used to subliminally bursting
Not used to someone witnessing me recoloring
I curl inside
I wish to hide
I crave apathy
I refuse apathy
I boycott spoon-fed darkness
But sometimes it swallows you whole
I understand the anger of an earth angel
I understand the haunting isolation when you realize you're the last of your kind
When life meets despair, inhale that coastline air
It's better to painfully breathe than apathetically impair
~ the calm after a heart wave crashes ~
Sep 13, 2013
Sep 13, 2013 at 11:09 PM UTC
My poetry blog, she keeps me warm
Souls in unison, leaking in within the same polarization
Blooming as they step out of the role of sheeple
They feel all that's subjectively real
Persevering through the heart and silly irrational fears
I don't know what I am right now
Sep 13, 2013
Sep 13, 2013 at 8:31 PM UTC
And there's beauty braided through today
Can't deal, never been too good with feels
Last night I had dreams of earthquakes
It was raining, the planet went up in smoke like a cupcake
I was rollerblading, then I was skating
I was alone but I was free
I felt that contradictory cord that bonds you with me
Chaos all around me, life was so pretty
It showed me so much of me and how scared you are to be free
Then it displayed how that's a terrifying reflection of me
Is this simply nonfiction within what I subjectively see?
~ BREATHE ~
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013 at 7:39 PM UTC
Never the luxury of a dull ache
If I felt it was safe know that I would
Heart strings displaced, never displayed
Never the luxury of a dull ache
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013 at 7:35 PM UTC
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
Human psyche
**** spurs inside of me
Why must you try me, hide from me
Yet parts of you still fly inside of me
Can't quite shake you
Not sure if I want to
Not sure if I know how to
All I know is right now there's a fae inside telling lie,
Telling me you're relevant
Telling me you're dying inside too without me
You torment me
Is this your reflection, sadistic satisfaction or contradictory affection?
Still can't shake you
Early bird gets the worm
I want to make you squirm
No mental capacity to see anything outside of you and I
how did you learn to hold me without knowing me?
Nothing physical, something transcendental yet so far from tangible
Test me
Undress me
Impress me
Digress relevance, find me
No, I can't let you have all of me
I want you to chase me, never displace me, die breathless without me
What do I want more? Your attention or affection?
Amazing flow, where'd you go?
One day someone will appreciate me and all that I think I know
Hopefully the same day I find the courage to truly display me
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013 at 7:34 PM UTC
Let it go let it shake
earth quake founded over imaginary hate
I'm still near
you're living in fear
you push, I pull, we mirror
you wear a face like I can't see beyond it
I'll stand here all day if there's something willing to give
I can't dig through asphalt,
not sure if I can handle the quick sand underneath
Scrapes and wounds as I swirl down into your spell
I just want to breathe again
I just want the undeniable to shift to what once was deniable
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013 at 7:24 PM UTC
Your grammar *****
Your heart is ******
You all too often duck,
Away from me.
I feel like I’m reading too much into this.
I really don’t think I can take it,
Falling in and out of you so frequently.
I really don't think you give a ****
Something about your gaze tells me to keep calm,
That it'll all pay off.
Where’s the reflection of that?
I don't wanna feel this right now.
A stone cold face while I watch my heart race.
Watching potential take flight into nothingness, it scares me.
We only get one chance within this dance.
I'm not demanding to intertwine,
I just want to have that vine between hearts.
One with a platonic start.
We all so often flee and kid ourselves into thinking we’re free
What would happen,
If you and me
Were to just be?
Wipe the slate clean and just BE.
My own issues don't entertain that possibility,
My self fulfilling prophecy tells me you think you're too good for me.
I’m so tempted to display a humble plea,
I feel like if I did so I would be loosing parts of me.
That may be pride speaking to a certain degree.
Once again, it's that self fulfilling prophecy.
I wish it weren't so,
Oh, I wish it weren't so.
If only I could put into words all the aspects of myself this is stirring.
It's like I'm watching a fast clipped movie containing
all the scenarios over the years that have brought my psyche to this conclusion.
No matter what I do or what perspective I view from we still end up stuck staring at this block.
I don't know how to get out of this.
Have I made an *** out of myself yet?
* scurries under a metaphorical rock *
I guess I'm done?
You won.
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
The intensity behind your eyes when you gaze elsewhere
I feel like my being is a location right now
What the **** is a human psyche at this point?
It's been too long, it's been way too long
It's all happening right now
Am I contradiction yet?
You know, it's pretty disgusting,
the amounts of you that dribble across my blog
It's been so long, it's been much too long angel
Swallow your pride,
Swallow the burn,
Walk on
His pretty broken heart,
It's no longer yours
He always had the intensity I craved
Now he's gone,
beaming what's behind those broken chocolate eyes
into someone else
One willing to match it at present time
I don't want you,
but I suppose I regret not having you
in your full dose
We were
so
*******
close
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 12:11 PM UTC
Psychobabble in progress. Waiting for the flow......
Slow and steady but I feel like a hurricane.
In order to express I have to dig,
so much under my walls with such itty-bitty living space.
I catch my subconscious thinking inspiration is a race.
Though, that frame of mind is hard to avoid in such a place.
And ostentatious race, needing metaphorical mace.
So many wolves, it's hard to know what's looking for love and what's looking to feed.
I don't understand the part of me that gets so completely chaotic whenever I try to let someone in. I tell myself it's because there's no new found security in our relationship yet but part of me knows it'll still be there once we get past it (this time I really feel like we will). I don't want to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. There's an indescribable feeling of chaos, it's beautiful, but it's still chaos. I beat myself up for acting so clammy. So much warmth under an ice cold exterior. It's so frustrating, there's walls not even I can penetrate sometimes. My own scar tissue has a lot more control over me than I thought. I'm almost there, I'm ready for it. There's just something about not having a firm foundation to stand on quite yet that kind of makes me feel like a fish out of water at times.Today I'm fluctuating between feeling beautiful and like totally chaos. I just hope he's patient when dealing with such delicate merchandise.
I have a tendency to forget that others are just as vulnerable as myself.
May 3, 2013
May 3, 2013 at 1:29 PM UTC