Stop, mind.
Please stop racing.
I don't enjoy it,
All these memories you put me through.
I thought I had forgotten,
But I could never forget.
Stop, eyes.
Please stop seeing.
I don't want it,
The constant knowledge.
The reassurance in the mirror,
Pathetic, hopeless.
I will never matter.
Stop, heart.
Please stop beating.
I don't understand it,
The fluctuation of flutters.
Excited and light,
Heavy and dead.
It never makes sense,
It's never the same.
Stop, skin.
Please stop bleeding.
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 11:07 PM UTC
I have everything I'd ever need to feel that I'm of use.
I've even nearly come to terms with all my life's abuse
You rescued me from myself and the harm that I would do
But why do I feel so alone while standing next to you?
You made me many promises, kept every single one
You love me despite seeing the hungry wolf I've become
Encouraged me to chase the fire burning through my lungs
But that fire's nearly out, and I'm stuck in the web I spun
I drew lines from my blood source, not just one, not two, but three
You try to understand, but only offer sympathy
It's always been within your reach to feel happy and free
Someone like you should never love a person like me
You've ignited sparks within me that give me more of a bite
You never raised a hand at me, we never really fight
And in telling me you love me sprouts me wings so I can fly
But this darkness I'm surrounded with will never turn to light
I have everything I'd ever need to feel that I'm of use
Still I know that I am useless, and this path has fallen through
I hope you know the only one I've ever loved is you
Yet I'm sick of being followed by shadows you never knew
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 7:49 PM UTC
The smell of decay rests thick in this room
As the beautiful roses change their hue.
They die silently, nearly unnoticed
Until the stench is unbearable.
A death not cared for,
Nobody shall grieve them.
But they had screamed so hard and so long,
Their voices drowned and muffled throughout the petals,
Never heard, never listened to.
Now presented as a forgotten thought,
A last-minute backstory,
A wasted effort,
An unheard memory.
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 4:29 PM UTC
Sometimes you can't see
When in certain perspectives
All of your progress
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 5:53 PM UTC
When you come out from hiding,
I will be waiting
And we can both throw aside our masks
But never for too long.
And we can either end this or start this
Our engines burning, tired,
Cold
But never truly real.
They'd never have guessed this,
We'd never have attempted,
But I've always known,
Swept away with the wind.
The gore doesn't match your clothes
As we cut deeper into ourselves,
Closing into discovery,
But no one ever knows.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 3:52 PM UTC
Cold steel cuts so deep
A world of insanity
Death will release me
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 4:04 PM UTC
Stuck inside these walls,
A hope once held forgotten,
I become nothing.
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 6:03 PM UTC
It follows me and reminds me
That I'm not really here.
There's no escape from the
Thing that I most fear.
It beckons to me with its
Breath drawing near.
I struggle ahead as I
Pretend not to hear.
But then it engulfs me
And I disappear.
Goodbye to the life that
Was once held so dear.
I've entered a new hell
Since the last one ran clear.
Awareness is excruciating
Year after year.
But why do I feel
When existence is sheer?
It follows me and reminds me
That I'm not really here.
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 10:09 PM UTC
The emptiness swallows me whole.
It uses no teeth or razor blades,
But it rather engulfs me all in one piece to fully feel
Only the sensation of darkness,
As well as my sanity leaving,
As life all runs together in a dull, stark,
Meaningless dead end.
I have no business here.
Nobody wants me here.
And so the emptiness,
Ever so inviting,
Consumes.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 8:41 PM UTC
There could have been better,
Than the beast I've become.
Maybe someone with motives,
Whose hopes weren't undone.
There could have been better,
Than the person I am.
Maybe someone with passion,
And experience first-hand.
There could have been better,
Maybe someone who's loved.
Not held back by fear,
Who can grow far above.
There could have been better,
But I hardly exist.
I'm eaten by pride,
And constant loneliness.
There could have been better,
But that is not me.
I'm drowning in emptiness,
Washed up by the sea.
I'll make room for the better,
Give needed space to succeed.
But I am empty of value,
In the blackness, I bleed.
There could have been better,
I'll fall into shadowed seas.
Drown away disappointment,
My hollow life will cease.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 7:37 PM UTC