you see dear, I think of you in small amounts.
in the *** someone’s had out in the open,
the husband of a friend;
but he is not a pirate.
you are the fantasy of your childhood,
about rocking boats and treacherous seas.
just this much is enough.
when I am picking tea at the supermarket.
earl grey is my predilection;
chamomile reminds me of sickness,
of hurt.
now there is a slip through there.
does it bring the calm comfort of home?
this tiny amount of you is just right.
when I see a character.
hitting save for forever,
not sharing,
because you would know.
when you see my story, and remind yourself of me as well.
do I come in waves?
similar to your weekends,
or am I a tsunami?
because I avoid the intensity,
of your eyes,
of my adoration for your smile.
just parts.
because you will never be fully mine,
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 2:20 PM UTC
Eating me, slowly,
All the way up to my stomach.
You are so kind.
Perhaps I misunderstood.
The second time,
to be this stupid.
I wish you could see,
beyond a girl you are helping;
on a ride along.
Maybe I am just there.
Not special at all.
Just a naive little girl,
turned woman,
still waiting,
for an admission of sorts.
Not quite in love, yet.
That builds,
as if pieces,
in due time.
Know you are the exception,
making me willing,
to reach it.
Though I am sure,
for you,
there is no need.
Extremely aware.
I am just another,
of your many admirers.
Why am I such a fool?
Stepping, willingly,
into the trap,
again.
Creating these expectations,
directly into my synapses.
As if constellations
building you,
slowly.
Is it strange
that I wanted to be right
this one time?
This quiet urge
to be chosen.
Hard to admit.
Oh!
You are all that
so wise, at times.
And I am just a girl,
with shaky hands ,
trying to breathe beside you.
To get near you,
be comfortable in your touch.
Not feel so peculiar,
when you open all my doors.
Wish I had more to offer,
besides a smile,
and my trust
for eternity.
Your past girlfriends,
your past crushes,
they seem magical.
Empowered.
Rich.
In every sense of the word.
And sometimes,
often.
I wish I wasn't myself.
Feeling this hard,
for someone
who is simply kind.
Apr 26
Apr 26, 2026 at 1:14 PM UTC
So I was correct,
drawing a line.
There you go,
leaving me here.
How I wish I wrote you a letter,
a poem similar as so many already written,
sent by mistake
or on purpose so you know.
It turns out we really are normal people.
A message from you, if I reveal it,
so exhilarating
we are more close than they know.
You go,
and I stay.
Would never ask you otherwise.
Life requires change.
Naturally, knowing, understanding,
I still feel my eyes water.
You were the first
to steal my heart.
Would ever chose to keep it?
You showed me care,
love,
how capable I am to give,
to receive.
I should let you be.
Still, a selfish me
wants you near.
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 6:42 PM UTC
There were boys tripping over themselves
to have me.
Do they not see?
I already belong.
One tried to kiss me,
laughed up close to his face.
Down, one more shot,
tripping, falling over you,
into the chair.
Tasted only peppermint *****
not your warmth, not his.
You were somewhere else as well.
Was it your bed?
Or did you kiss a girl, presented she was there?
Nevermind, I might throw up glitter, and my guts.
I just want true kindness,
mutual adoration,
someone gentle,
just as you are.
Or maybe I wish it to be you.
My friends say I've grown insane
to pour love, not asking for it back.
Merely happy if you are happy,
if that means being your friend.
You shall then never confirm if you have suspicions.
But I could not kiss him.
I was only thinking of you.
This guy said I was a star from a music clip,
perfect as can be,
all that to get me to touch him.
You never said that.
Contrary, you call me bright,
capable of taking on the world with stride,
still cute as button,
the tenderness of rooting for another's growth.
There is no other for me.
So I will keep pouring out,
to pour love, not to fill a cup if yours spills,
but to pour on the ocean of the love you receive.
Some early mornings,
missing you dearly,
overthinking completely
that you hate me somehow.
Perhaps you discovered my innocence is nothing but fault.
My looks, my intelligence are just not up to par.
Maybe, just maybe, I laughed too hard,
weirded you out.
Still, I urge you to keep receiving
while I am willing to give,
or forevermore remember my smile
while the light hits just right,
right across the sea,
beneath a cherry tree.
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 6:22 PM UTC