The wind ruffles,
The city sleeps.
This judgement isn't yours,
But is made to keep.
What does one wish?
Upon the eternal moon.
To wash away its sorrows,
With the rain of monsoon.
Aug 19, 2020
Aug 19, 2020 at 4:29 AM UTC
Journal entry #2
Curled up on the bathroom floor.
I stare down at my phone, so long, that my eyes glaze over.
Surprised I remembered all the songs that use to set my soul on fire.
Music was always my second love, and then there was you.
Already tipsy, I take a long swig from my bottle of jack and say to myself, (Rip it, its just like a bandaid just do it.)
I hit shuffle and the first song that plays is...
(H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line)
The pain that washed over me was excruciating. It made every hair on my body stand and shiver. Tears fell from my eyes as my mind brought me right back to that time, and that place, in that car, as I brought you to our home and you sang that song to me.
I remember thanking God in this moment.
I finally had you back. I remember thinking how lucky I was... Blessed.
Thinking we conquered it all.
Feeling like I had died and gone to heaven and there you were.
I felt short of breath, I felt like I was suffocating. Because I never knew such a happiness existed...never wanting someone so much in your life..
Try to see this through my eyes.
Life hasent always been good to me.
I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
But then, in walks a man I thought was sent from heaven.
Maybe, it was finally my time to be happy?
God is that you?
Too blind to see it at the time, but God was saying No the entire time.
I was blown away, what could I say?
It all seemed to make sense at the time.
Stupid me, thinking he loved me, as much as I loved him.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 1:15 PM UTC
i finally remembered what it was
to feel happy and content
instead of just "not sad"
the sun comes around more often
sticks around longer
it paints my world in colors more beautiful
than those it gives the sky because suddenly,
when my friends laugh , i can too
and i am loud again
and instead of walking, i skip
suddenly, instead of dreading the day,
i wake up to moments full of potential
and i worry less about every single thing i do
suddenly, being with people
is as invigorating as it used to be
once upon a time ago.
of course, the rain will come again
and the sun will leave with summer
and it is then, especially, that i will hurt again
but suddenly, i have hope.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 1:12 PM UTC
Absent all year round
The seasons come and go
But once again you Spring
Up
Daffodils.
So bright
Full of
Life
You rise.
Without fail.
Year upon year, a reminder of who’s gone
But that you will return
To my heart
Like a flood,
Rushing through me.
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 12:35 PM UTC
Let me entwine my lips with yours
and my fingers become your hair
Let me tremble my kiss with yours
and my teeth become your neck
Let me weld my skin with yours
and my hands become your *******
Let me burn my *** with yours
and my lust become your craving
Let me spill my passion with yours
and my love become your ecstasy
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 8:29 PM UTC
sometimes i feel too much
sometimes i feel too little
i wish i could stay in that happy place
that lies right in the middle
when i feel too much
it's a torrent of emotion
a downpour of epic proportion
and i pray for it to end
yet when it does i don't feel enough
i'm numb, frozen, depressed.
I then pray for this to end
and i'd do anything to feel again
so i'm stuck in this happy limbo
never feeling quite right
like goldilocks in the three bear's house
i can't sleep at night
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 7:11 AM UTC
We are the kids
Who want to feel alive
We want to feel liberated and beautiful and young.
We are the sad youth.
Of cutting
And anti-depressants
Praying for some one to save us
From ourselves,
When our minds are dark
And we are alone.
We are the wild youth.
Of late nights
And city lights
With our lungs filled with smoke
And adrenaline pumping through our veins.
We are the lonely youth.
Where no one knows our thoughts
And no one understands
But God, how we wish they would.
We are the hipster indie youth.
We don't do it for the aesthetic
Because this is who we are
We live our lives in black white
And sometimes, someone beautiful
Adds in the most vibrant color.
We are the wandering youth.
Searching, exploring, running, grasping
At whatever we can
That make us see
There is hope
And wonder
And brilliance in the world.
We are the youth of today
We are different
But we are human.
We are the youth.
And even if our youth is fading,
The memories we made aren't.
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 17, 2017 at 4:48 PM UTC
Focused on the reflection,
You forget your outer perception.
Body dysmorphia,
Obsession.
True projection through hindsight reflection.
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 3:14 PM UTC
Searching within may seem daunting,
But here, a secret sound-fully lies
Uncoverable when memories of tasteless words spoken can be accepted and overcome
For then, a clear mind exists.
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 5, 2017 at 6:12 PM UTC
Fondness of looks
Panders lust
Lust dreams of love
Whereas, love;
Love is content.
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 5, 2017 at 6:30 AM UTC