the sun seeped in through the cracked-open window, and i cradled your hand within mine, watching the veins and the creases of your knuckles. the sun seeped in and i whispered to you, inching up the bed and kissing at your cheek.
"we are alive and i love you to pieces."
wild daisies; your favorite drink on rocks of ice, the sea with it's calming waves and Ancient Ones. i will swim with you until you get tired, i'll drive you home and hold you until you sleep.
i pour molten silver in the cracks of you until you are all fixed.
i will not stop until the scars fade, until the night comes.
each one of your fantasies is a lock -- i will find the key,
dug deep into the nooks of my heart, my art.
Jun 12, 2015
Jun 12, 2015 at 12:14 AM UTC
you are like fall.
you make me sad --
saccharine sad so my tears taste like sugar, my misery tastes like heaven.
your leaves sink and I come undone.
your blue-grey eyes are the ocean, i drown in them.
mine are the bright of the sky, of sapphires,
and you have all of my stares. forever.
the kisses i blow may one day reach you.
they fly a path across the atlantic. across the sky, across the pedestrian roads. they sail along with the leaves of summer. the dead branches of winter.
the kisses are all yours. all of me is yours.
plant love, your seed, along the underside of my breast,
i will twist my hands in the white linen of our sheets.
let's stay up together, decaying coffee in my cup,
your stubble thick with growth.
brushes of black on our pillows from where you held me tight and i cried.
the smell of bonfire smoke. the remnants of our past,
they twirl and dance away. over now. over.
you are like fall,
i want to walk in you.
see you on the dark side of the moon.
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 3:21 PM UTC
I saw wild-poppies in your eyes
Your tongue was a coarse dead petal
Your crown slanted,
As if it did not belong on your mess
Of hair.
Within you are the souls of one thousand
Shades: ghosts, wights, spirits
Shades: hues, tones, colours
Within you
They play seance
With your ribs
Lighting buttercups from your blood
Gods take your crown
Poppies in sight of the holy ones...
**** you, **** you, I will not have my own tongue die.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 12:37 PM UTC
I was in the hospital on Sunday, I had stayed there overnight, and I was in a room with big armchairs and low lighting, which was very strange for a hospital. I was sure I could leave whenever I want, so I don't know why I stayed.
They took my blood and I don't know where they took it. I don't even know if they needed it.
All I had to do was smile at the psychiatrists and they believed me.
But nobody wanted to see the poisoned hole that had begun to infect my insides, so I let my hands lie limp and gave my mind to the stars.
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 2:55 AM UTC
****** me
in the space between your eye ball and the bottom of your eyelid
I want you to play in my blood
sweetness
I would do anything to see you smile
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 8:54 PM UTC
first kiss
18 year old, diving,
hurt.
lavish styles (of) discipline.
long stories,
instruction:
teacher and student.
(a) bar bathroom:
pure teen punished
sexually broken:
alice.
scarlet underwear,
redhead pigtails,
(and) b grade movies.
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 5:31 AM UTC
I have seen a fish being beaten and left for dead on the side of a wooden boat and I want that to be me
because in death there are extremes
and I want to contract diseases and inflict them on every
**** person who ever touched me
and I want to be made out of poison that makes people want me
more than they want to be alive
I just want to be dangerous
which is how I feel with sharp glass in my eyes
rubbing against my lids and
how I feel with sharp steel pressed against legs
god **** I feel alive and dangerous and powerful
more than I ever did before and I do reach a higher existence
and I do feel like a different person
I just want to make people sick with how much they love me
and fall apart with out me
and I am just this echo calling out for my ******* narcissus
who would love me more than his reflection
so **** it Ovid I just want this last bit of danger
I like the taste of my blood when I **** hard on my gums
I love the feel of pain I want it so bad
I want to be euphoric and I want people to want to make me ******* euphoric
I cannot live like a girl without danger when all my life I have been dangerous to all
and I burn people yes but scars only ever last for a couple months
burn scars do anyway, to me, I thought they all loved me
and would die for me
but I have not left behind that many corpses in my tread
and I am not the girl I thought I was
I am not the girl I think I am
I want to be everything and nothing
and good and bad and
I want to be His ******* temptation but I cannot have that title
so I'll be His darling stagnation because that's what I'll do
breaking up won't be ****** and suicide and blood pacts it'll be dad
coming with a van and Him looking kinda sad maybe
I guess when I leave it will be mutual
and neutral and all of the things that I hate
the things that poison my insides the worst thing I feel is neutrality
that and passivity
I cannot stand non aggressive or not emotive
I have to have everything
I have to have noise and terror every day or I cannot cope some times
I hate that life has to be like this now and I cannot be what I want
because the times are wrong and society won't accept it
when I say I do not want to talk about it it is because I feel this
this is bad and this is
the closest I will get to poisoning you
because I cannot tell you my secret desires
for you to **** all the life from my heart
pour it back in me with pieces of you
when I sleep I dream sometimes I dream about you killing me
and it is the best feeling ever I wake up and smile
I am horrid and my heart is on fire
but now you care if it hurts you stop when I say so
I see the look of the eyes of the fish on the boat
I see that look in the eyes of me
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 20, 2014 at 12:16 PM UTC
I swear I've seen tentacles growing
inside the places water goes out.
They are purple and blue and have suckers on
and sometimes I see them and shout:
They have my eyes and my hair in a lock!
And they are tying these ropes to my lashes!
And on my pale arms and shin bones I've seen
purple and blue pus-blood gashes!
Out of these cuts come more of them,
more sucker-filled fat coils of woe.
My father cries out for his lost girl
while my tentacles wrap round his toe...
Until I infect everyone in the world
until I have caused mass destruction,
I will not be happy, I will not be good,
so I continue my disgusting seduction!
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014 at 7:41 AM UTC
here
i am in the kitchen and it is tidy
for once
the noticeboard is all dated last year
cats crawl around my feet
i haven't fought in a while
and you are happy
i used to think i was doomed
i thought i'd die before thirty
i thought not eating would take me
i never thought i would live
in a house half my own
with cinnamon and a chrome clean sink
i haven't fought in a while
and i am happy
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014 at 7:31 AM UTC
in my basement i will keep them
hoards of plasma laden spawn
and at night i will sleep with them
until the radiation sickness takes me
i just wanted to be your doll
hey there baby doll gal doll princess
now i am made of iron and plasma
and the only doll i could be, well,
i thought and it made me feel sick.
geiger counter is up to 500, now
and i can feel my underknees burning
not the kind from a fire but
from a blistering heat
and i swear i could see a flash of light there.
remember the last words your father said to you
good bye love
he was never one for verbosity.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 6:48 AM UTC