she's begging to be set free,
begging to be released into the world of love, lust, desire.
begging to be liberated from the steel bars that her ribs have become.
her heart, longing to feel more than numbness,
longing for passion,
longing for tenderness that she had never understood.
to know the story behind the eyes of he who will shove her feeble heart back into her dungeon of desolation.
Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019 at 2:18 AM UTC
Do you go to bed thinking about her?
Do you wake up hoping she's still awake for you to talk to?
Do you get excited when you talk to her?
Does she make you happy?
Do you think about her when you’re with your friends?
Do you want to talk to her always?
Do you wish she was sleeping there next to you?
Do you wish you could cuddle with her and hold her?
Do you care about her as much as you said you cared about me?
Do you love her?
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 4:32 AM UTC
As he kissed her forehead,
He heard her thoughts yell out
"I love you."
And even though he said otherwise,
His thoughts yelled out the same.
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 11:42 AM UTC
The last time she said "I love you"
there was silence.
He said nothing.
And with the nothing he said, her world came tumbling down even further than it had already been.
He manipulated her,
He used her,
He disrespected her,
He belittled her.
He hurt her time and time again, but she was so in love with the idea of love that she kept coming back for more.
She didn't care that he didn't care about her.
She craved his touch, she craved his affection, and she would get it.
Only to be pushed away one final time, and realize love wasn't all it was made out to be.
The last time she said "I love you"
the silence broke her.
No wonder she's afraid of saying it to you.
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 2:59 PM UTC
I want you to be happy
But I want you to be happy with me
But I want you to want to be happy with me
Like I want to be happy with you
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC
Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.
Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.
Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 12:49 AM UTC
If you cared, you wouldn't have left me so abruptly.
But you did.
So you don't.
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 30, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
When I looked into his eyes, I saw an incredible blue green ocean of a human being.
A human being who cared.
A human being who no matter what, would always be there.
When I looked into his eyes, I saw a beautiful iris full of thoughts and desires, begging to be let out into the free world.
Gentle thoughts.
Pleasant thoughts.
Desires that would make me jump with glee.
I saw beauty.
I saw passion.
I saw a man, who was as strong as a lion but soft as a flower.
A man who could protect me.
A man who could laugh with me.
A man who could love me.
I saw a stunning picture of him and I, smiling, holding each other as we did, being so comfortable.
So happy.
He was the man who cared.
But now he’s the man who left.
When I look into his clear, grey tinged eyes, I see a boy.
A little boy.
A little boy who hides from the truth.
A little boy who will lie to you.
Who will tell you what you want to hear, so he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences,
Though he has no issue telling others.
A little boy who left you alone out in the cold, because he felt that he was responsible for keeping you warm,
And that was too much to ask from him.
Even after months of you saying to him that you were fine on your own.
That you didn’t need help.
Prince Charming turned out to be the villain.
That beautiful man was a lie all along.
He never really cared.
Because if that man who cared about me so much was true,
It wouldn’t matter that we broke up 9 months ago.
He wouldn’t leave me in the dark, while he soaked up the light.
It wouldn’t matter if we decided to stay friends, or if we decided to leave each other.
He would still care.
It wouldn't matter that we did decide to stay friends.
He wouldn’t feel as if it were a responsibility to care about me.
He just would.
And that man who he was before, seemed like he genuinely did.
But just like everything else, that was a lie too.
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 4:48 PM UTC
You never used to inspire me to write.
When I met you, I wished so badly that my writer's block would disappear and I could compose a poem of all the feelings I had for you.
But you know what they say,
Be careful what you wish for.
Because now I can't stop.
Now, the thought of you is so inspiring that all I want to do is write and write and write and write and write and write and write.
Your gorgeous tan skin and bright blue-green eyes force my fingers on the keys to keep going, until my nails are broken and my fingertips are raw.
You never used to make me feel creative.
What happened?
I fell in love.
I dove into the lake of love, heart first,
not realizing that I would never escape it.
I didn't want to escape the canal boat floating down the river of devotion so smoothly.
I should've gotten out when I could.
Little did I know that a shark lingered in that river.
A Great White Shark, ready to lunge at my exposed heart, that rested on my sleeve.
Although what I realize now is,
Sharks only live in the ocean.
The stinging pain in my chest isn't an aquatic beast.
It's love itself,
Trying to rip my heart from my chest and tear it to pieces, before my very eyes.
Love.
The destructive force that tricked me into falling for its lies.
Its promises of joy and happiness,
devotion and fondness.
The infatuation and lust that love guaranteed was all a ploy.
A ploy to catch me in its web, waiting for the spider itself to eat me alive.
You never used to inspire me to write.
But now you're my muse.
I wish I was smarter than this.
I wish I didn't fall in love with your kind heart and your gentle soul.
But remember, be careful what you wish for.
Because maybe, if I hadn't wished in the first place,
My heart wouldn't be so heavy,
And my hands wouldn't be numb from writing endless insignificant love letters to you.
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
A flood of guilt just rushed through my veins, practically drowning me in the emotion.
I stopped in my tracks, realizing what I had just done.
I had just jeopardized everything.
I knew how I felt towards you, but now I knew that it didn’t matter how much I tried to convince you.
At this point, after doing what I did, there was no chance you would ever take me back.
And that stung.
I felt like a bee had just jabbed its stinger into the scrapes caused by the ton of bricks that had just fallen on top of me.
There was no way out of this mess I made for myself. But the saying goes, you make your bed, you lie in it.
I made that bed in May.
I made that bed when my idiotic self went back to the guy who tried to breakdown my relationship, and eventually reached his goal.
I’ve been sleeping in the bed of thorns that was once made of roses, for the past four months, and I’m sick of it.
I can’t go on feeling like I’ve shattered the glass that is my heart, even though that is exactly what I did.
I didn’t realize what an incredible person I had, until they were gone.
It took me a day or two, but by the time I fully realized what I had lost, it was too late.
Much that once was, was lost.
My emotions that suddenly roared back to life in my brain, had dulled in yours, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I couldn’t kiss you back to life, the way it happens in Disney movies.
I couldn’t talk my way out of the situation, like I do when I don’t do my homework.
It was more complicated than that.
It wasn't just me anymore.
There was a whole other person, who’s feelings had to be taken into consideration.
And at that moment, I understood.
I could comprehend that you weren’t into it anymore.
But now, it's different.
It's different in the way that I can’t handle this anymore.
I’ve tried to make it seem like I don't care anymore.
I’ve been with other guys.
But it just feels wrong.
I miss you.
And you need to know that, as soon as possible.
You need to know that I care.
I care so much that I can’t bare to see you with Mary Jane every chance you get.
I care so much that I cant contain my smile every time I notice you in a crowd.
I care so much that hugging you has the potential to
Make.
My.
Day.
Maybe that sounds crazy, but at this point, I care so much that I don’t even care.
Even though I miss you, I still would rather you as a friend than nothing at all.
But wanting you as a friend doesn’t mean that the part of me wishes there were more doesn't exist.
A part of me- a big part of me wishes for nothing but to go back to the night of semi-formal, when I realized that I had feelings for you.
I wish I could go back to that night, when I came into the kitchen and you stopped mid sentence. I wish you would look at me the way you looked at me that night, again.
I wish I could go back to the night you asked me out, and relive it over again too. To hear you say, "My god, you're so beautiful," just once more.
I wish I could go back in time to the night we cuddled in that bed, or the day of our first kiss.
I wish so badly that I could go back to being able to wrap my arms around your neck and pull you close, to kiss your soft lips again, even if it was just for a moment.
That part of me aches when I see you.
I feel it.
I feel it all the time.
I feel it when I see you, and I feel it right now.
It’s the left side of my chest, filled with anxiety and care and emotion and love.
It’s my heart.
My beating heart that I’m so glad still is beating because I would miss you if it wasn’t.
I would miss seeing your eyes light up when you get intrigued.
I would miss the overwhelming scent of your cologne whenever I see you, and how it takes so much out of me to keep up with you when we’re walking, because your legs are so much longer than mine.
I would miss talking to you, hearing your philosophies and views on life.
I would miss everything.
And I do miss everything, because right now, my heart feels numb.
But when I’m with you, it beats a mile a minute.
It’s like you’re the trigger to my heart that sets off the wild butterflies in my stomach, and the dizziness in my head.
I can barely focus around you anymore, because all I want is to lay next to you and breathe.
I couldn’t care if it was silent or if there was no dead air.
Because I would be with you, and that’s all that matters.
I would give anything to lay next to you on your John Doe scented sheets,
and stare up at your white pop corn ceiling.
I usually don't like pop corn ceilings.
But when its yours, it doesn't matter.
Because I like you, and that's all that does.
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 10:52 PM UTC