It’s funny, how life just decided to become what it is. How nothing ever stayed the same from what it was.
And I wanted to write, so that I could tell you what you meant.
You were not simple.
It’s funny how I allowed everything to be crushed and dismembered by you.
How my face looked when you left, how my heart tore; pieces of flesh scattered in my blue blood.
I always imagined you loving me.
But you never did,
and I assume you never will.
I felt like I had to tear the valves of my heart and rearrange the blood flow that you had previously ****** up. I had to tear and twist and rip my skin so that I could go back to the way I was without you.
I destroyed myself for you. Every bit of me was blind with the dangerous love I had for you. I couldn't breathe, without your acceptance. I couldn't feel without you saying it was ok.
I was trapped under you,
the pressure large enough to shatter the earth
large enough to make me feel the smallest I could have ever felt.
enough to where i was in your hand, I was in the palm of your hand and you crushed me with every ounce of force you had.
I don't know how I escaped.
But I’m glad I did.
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
2 years apart yet
2 lines you gave me.
After two bottles
of heart that
incapacitated me.
2 people,
no more.
2 lives
tangled for
2 hours
and more.
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 4:32 PM UTC
There is water
in my chest.
It's taking a lot of space.
I'm afraid
that there won't be enough left.
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 4:22 PM UTC
I spent a week
feeling weird,
and drowning
in what seems like
nothing.
and then I spent a day
thinking,
along with a feeling,
that maybe nothing
was something...
but probably nothing.
But the next day
I stopped thinking
and feeling
and I decided not to care.
Sadly, we all know, that is quite dangerous.
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 4:20 PM UTC
I think I fell back into my addiction this week;
I woke up in the night
thinking of your voice.
I popped three this morning
and listened to your voicemail.
I couldn't help myself.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 12:28 PM UTC
People say that when we experience the bad
we make a change so we can move on and forget about the past.
Well this piercing hurts like a bad bruise,
and I guess I only got it cuz I needed something new,
not related to you.
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
I should have noticed you were bad for me
when I kissed you
and you tasted like a bad cigarette.
And when I held you
instead of you holding me.
I should have known you wouldn't love me,
just by the look that you gave them.
I should have ran away from you,
instead of towards you
and crashing
into
you.
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 9:04 PM UTC
My darling
My darling
I am craving self-destruction once again.
Louder than love
I crave the end
Breath me in for once I may be dead
Destruction may find a way to win
Again.
Leave me,
Destruction will be my comfort
Darling you won't have to
anymore.
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 9:51 PM UTC
If you wanted to find my heart
You would have to find the door.
And the door would be made of words and ideas
That you would have no idea what they are good for.
So I suggest you leave me now
If you aren’t ready for a challenge
Full of traps, attachments, and strings
Because I guard the door too hard
And for that I know true peace
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 2:05 PM UTC
Your names are in bold,
By the way,
Just if you were wondering.
You guys seemed to have a common sense of things,
Like knowing me,
But not knowing all of me
Or not particularly caring about me
And how you all somehow
Ended up
******* me.
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 3:25 PM UTC