Clap as I destroy,
Laugh as my flames rise higher.
You love beautiful liars, right?
Is that who I have to be now?
Make you hate yourself
Become your enemy.
I don’t want to,
But you’d love me more that way.
You love me most
When my worst emotions show.
When I scream,
When I yell,
You kiss me then,
Or do both…
Never questioning why you fell.
This love feeds your deepest wounds
It’s all or nothing.
I couldn’t hate or curse you before.
I hate that I ruined your fun.
It’s too late to fix,
But I’m not done “trying”
I’ll do you wrong
The right way.
Maybe we’ll get the chance we deserve.
Yell at me for my regrets and mistakes.
Tell me I’m on your last nerve.
Love me unconditionally
Especially when I make you cry at night.
I’ll remind you of the other girl
Who never made things right.
Say you’re disappointed in me, in love,
Sure, you hate the bad things I do.
But then I’ll get on my knees,
Say the rehearsed apology I owe,
Then do a unique wrong
Harder than my last low.
I’ll say sorry again,
Awaiting your apology too
For loving me
While I forcibly destroyed you.
But you’ll still love me.
I just have to deny you,
Right?
You’ll love me this time,
And not like before,
When I didn’t know your heart,
That it yearns for the naturally cold one.
Aug 10, 2025
Aug 10, 2025 at 11:35 PM UTC
Do you hear how loud it gets when the silence devours the sound?
How lonely you really are, when there’s everyone imaginable around?
How weak you become when you fight against yourself.
How you're your own best friend, and worst enemy, but still, you want to be someone else.
The poison your demons give you, somehow brings you life.
They tell you that you have deeper wounds than those birthed by the sharpest knife.
It’s the continuous decisions that trap you in a cycle of regret.
You tell yourself that you like the dark,
but you just haven’t seen the light yet.
You tell the shadows that you’ll do better, when you promised yourself that you won’t.
You convince yourself that you’re the only one that understands yourself, when you know **** well, you don't.
You like the way you bite love.
Maybe you like the way love bites.
You crave the pressure, the pain, the game
The way it excites.
Crying feels like happiness.
Living, yet yearning to die
Balance is the key to destruction.
The truth is just a lie.
Blow out the candle.
Look into the mirror
It’s the only way to see her.
She’s not afraid of you.
She’s afraid of reality, and what you’ll see in her.
She sees you when there’s no one.
You see her when there’s everyone.
But every time you approach her, you realize gratefully…
That there’s no one.
No one… except you.
Dec 24, 2020
Dec 24, 2020 at 12:04 AM UTC
Your warmth
My habitual coldness
Skin to skin
Fast heartbeats
Unsatisfied hands
Soft kisses
Now passionately racing
Delicate touches
Now desirous grabs
Our bodies pressed together
Your hands tangled in my hair
My hands wrapped around the curves of your shape
The very shape you don’t know is perfect
You use harsh eyes to critique the beauty
Your eyes roll when I acknowledge your art
It’s okay, you don’t know yet
You haven’t looked outside to see the heavenly grace
You can’t see how you make sunsets jealous
Or how the waves quiver next to you
But that’s why i’m here.
So my lips will trace every line of you
A painter adoring their masterpiece
Until the day your eyes soften
And you feel what my hands have been saying all along
That you aren’t just a perfect picture
You’re the gallery, the sunrise, the ocean, the song.
And here I’ll stay…
To worship and to burn.
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 6:42 PM UTC
Share your secrets with me
And I'd keep them from the world
Dream your dreams with me
So that I could catch you if you fall
Tell me your fears
And I’ll be your armor
Whisper your deepest, darkest thoughts
And I’ll save you from yourself
Show me your insecurities
And I’ll give you my eyes so that you can see your perfections
Love me with all of you
And I promise I’d do the same
Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 12:25 AM UTC
If you listen close enough, you’ll hear my ocean of sadness
Crashing my joy with its waves of pain
Under the moonlight of desire
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019 at 7:35 PM UTC
You could break me twice if that’s what you desired
You could have brought me to my lowest low and I’d still put you higher
You could rip my heart out and I’d believe that it’s right
For loving you whilst you hurt me is how I brought my heart delight
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 3:27 PM UTC
One day someone will read my life in these words and fall in love
But what they won’t know is that this person is no longer here and now above
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 9:08 AM UTC
You’re in pain
I know
Partially because I’m to blame
I’m why you sit in the dark replaying all your faults and all your mistakes
I’m why you’re remembering every “I love you” and picking out which is real and which is fake
And they’re all fake. Don’t ask me how I know. That’s just the way it is
See, I wanted to love you, but I didn’t want the burden that comes with it
The burden of carrying something more special than my hands were made to hold
So when I’m done repenting, I’ll turn over my life for you to scold
But you’re not going to. You’re going to hug me and say it’s okay
You're going to say that you love me and I can't change that, no matter what I say
Because it’s who you are. Perfection at its finest
Next to your kindness is me, a shadow in my wrong
Knowing that I feel for you, even when my shortcomings feel long
I know you feel for me too. You love the code to your destruction
I bring balance. In some twisted way, you need me to function
I knew that, and yet I watched you blindly walk on the road to your innocent love’s end
I watched you dance in the dark. I saw you fall in love with heartbreak’s friend
I knew it didn't have to be like that. I knew I had a flexible position
Instead. I denied my love for you, and for your emotional death, I started the ignition
I'm sorry that I said I loved only her and not you
It’s just that my love was blinded by another
She dried my tears. You healed the wounds in my mind. Somehow neither the perfect lover
I let you meet the friendly stranger. The one known for its addicting danger
But that’s what you like, and that’s what you desire
Beautiful liar
You go deeper in the water and you love messing with fire
Oct 23, 2019
Oct 23, 2019 at 11:01 PM UTC
I celebrate myself and sing myself
Yes, me, the one living to fulfill her own expectation
The one who laughs, and sees the fun in the worst situations
With a fear of being scared, and scared of being alone
Alone, I was born... and yet alone, I am scared
Scared of things I can not control, and things I can not predict
Yet I live for unexpected opportunities and people I can die with
I don't need anyone else, and for that, I celebrate myself
But I want the presence of somebody else, and for that, I celebrate myself
For there was a time in which I couldn't separate my wants from my needs
And in that time, I remember a world of toxicity and greed
Life of the party I am
And eager to post about myself on the gram
But not the self who comes from a broken, lost world
Not the hesitant truster who dances among elements of confusion
How is it that I like being alone, but I hate when people leave
I've looked happy since the third grade and mentally aware since the eighth
I used to laugh, hoping my happiness would stay and become real
It was easier to joke around and so I avoided every chance to feel
Sports became my tattoo for happiness
Before the thrill, I used to think
That if I could smile through the rain and get over my problems
Then the storm, the rain, and the clouds will pass
But that's definitely not how I think now, and hopefully not how I'll think in the future
Because I've learned that it's okay to not be okay
And that after every missed catch, there is always going to be another
So I'll be better than I was
Now I acknowledge the past, live in the present, and hope for the future
And for that, I celebrate myself and sing myself
Sep 26, 2019
Sep 26, 2019 at 11:38 AM UTC
I tried ignoring you.
Pretending you didn't exist.
That we never happened.
It didn't work.
It doesn't make sense, but it's harder to leave you alone
I wanted you in whatever form I could get
How are you blinded from what your poison does to me
It's like you don't care
Why are you so quick to cut me off?
Do you not love me?
I want you for who you are
You say one thing, and do the next
If I only chase you, why are you worrying about those I chased?
Why is it so difficult?
What do I do now?
How do I act?
Why are you so worried about them and not us?
You know I care about you when I hate myself
You know that I pay more attention than you do to yourself
But why is your pride so big?
Why do you care about caring
That's your problem
Love shouldn't be like this.
Sep 13, 2019
Sep 13, 2019 at 1:16 AM UTC