i won't let them hear
what they want to hear.
i'll hide my fears
or write them down in
tears from a pen.
i'll drown
the empty pages with ink;
venom to the mind,
and then
i'll start over again.
poisonous lines.
while, "all is fine"
i'll say.
when in reality
the only truth my muffled words
reveal is in the silence
that follows.
and since the calm
before the storm
is my storm
and this garden
is filled with thorns,
i'll burn everything i've ever known
and surround myself with
ashes
that allow me to let go.
don't leave me alone.
ARH
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC
All I see, when I close my eyes
And dream
Is that I'm falling.
Yeah
I'm
Falling
For you.
The one who takes
my breath away
but leaves me with
more life instead,
for now my heart beats
for the girl who
leaves a sunrise
in her wake
and forms a melody
within my soul
that sings of good
still in this world
and joy beyond
what the most beautifully crafted
words could show.
The one who makes
the stars burn bright at night
and yet whose tired eyes
inspire
and make any other sight
dull,
and now when my heart beats
it is for her.
[ARH]
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 11:14 PM UTC
I gazed out at the night to find
The moon shining
Throughout the darkness:
Enveloping its surroundings
Only to pierce my mind in a way
The most stunning wonders can.
I couldn't help but remember
Your eyes full of galaxies and I
Experience a feeling reminiscent
Of the thought
Of one who's always on my mind.
There in the night remained
A moon that shone despite,
And one who's light
Reaches both of us.
And though divided at the time,
Our sight is fixated equally,
And I desperately believe we might
Shine despite the divide
If we try.
For I find that you are more lovely
Than a full moon at night,
You bring your own light.
And so do I.
[ARH]
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 2:21 AM UTC
I took her breath away
not anticipating the consequences,
now she's grasping for air
and we're both helpless.
Love is senseless.
We share the same breathlessness.
What a lovely sentiment.
But too much of a good thing anywhere
can be suffocating,
and your lungs are failing.
So don't fall for me darling,
I'll only let you drown.
[ARH]
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
You're walking on thin lines:
the ones that hold me up
to the sky.
It's fine.
I realize I will fly
regardless.
Yet
When your eyes don't shine
the night's are starless.
What good are wings
surrounded by darkness?
It's not that you're heartless,
it's just that your heart is
not quite where it's supposed to be.
It's with me and see,
I feel I should be free,
but free to go where
when my heart is nowhere
to be found
and my life is still up in the air?
I'm bound.
Life's not fair.
I don't care.
I'll continue to rise where you are,
and I'll make it there.
As long as you never stop lighting my way.
So continue to say what you say, love.
Sorry for the wait.
[ARH]
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 9:44 PM UTC
i'm about to finish a puzzle,
completing a portrait
to give me peace.
when the puzzle,
I soon find,
is broken;
there's a spot
with a missing piece.
the whole picture seems ruined
by the hole,
the hole
where something should be.
incompleteness
that once was masked
is now apparent
for all to see.
I open up the box
and find its contents
have been taken.
the piece that has been stolen
left the puzzle with no ending.
I draw out a replacement
as perfect as I can imagine,
but the hollow representation
cannot match
what once was.
I retrace all the steps I took
to get me to this point.
each puzzle piece which I had put
in order to make it work.
the last of all,
the one needed,
the one to complete me,
was given to the one who
needed it more
than I could give.
she has my final puzzle piece
and I have hers as well,
and I would gladly hand it over
time and time again.
she has my missing puzzle piece
and I have hers as well.
neither of our portraits can be complete
without the other's help.
and though this makes it difficult
to carry on as before,
I find the best puzzles require
more than just oneself.
[ARH]
Sep 5, 2014
Sep 5, 2014 at 9:29 AM UTC
You were electricity running through my veins
but the power lines broke
now I'm left in the rain;
soaked,
with only the sound of thunderstorms
around,
with you nowhere to be found.
[ARH]
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 8:07 PM UTC
You say you're proud you're clean today
Yet you go back to your old ways
I look at you and see it's a reflection
Of my selfish days and
I realize it's me who's changed
There's two of us inside my head
Fighting for the chance to live
A wolf inside of my own brain
No wonder it's so difficult
This war within my mind I wage
No wonder I can't even think
Straight when the two halves of my heart Decide to break apart and
All I'm left with is the broken parts
Lying on the asphalt
Freeway crashes in my head
Locomotives in my brain
Is it my thoughts or is it a migraine
It's all the same
I'm on a train
Going no specific place
Failing
Derailing
I desperately want it to be a dream
Maybe if I stop thinking
It will all just go away
Drown my thoughts with mindless
Music so I lose track of the pain
Understand
My motives aren't insane
They're just a little out of place
I look at my reflection
I can't even recognize the face
Time to make amends
Attempt to fix the broken things
Shattered pieces vaguely
Remind me of all the times my wings
Failed me
I need somebody to save
We can get a little crazed
When we don't know when to stop
And I will crack open Pandora's box
And let the contents out
Right about the hour that I find the clock
has lost it's power
Sour consciousness distracts me from the task that is at hand
Focus on the destination
And enjoy the journey
It will never go as planned
But we can plan to make it worth it
[ARH]
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 4:22 PM UTC
What happens
when we run out?
Of time
of hope
of dreams
of memories?
Of songs
of nights
of things
to look
forward to together?
What happens
when I run out
of you?
We lost the chance to know
when you ran out on me.
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 3:21 PM UTC
I lived on an island
in the sea.
Along with me
were others
who lived peacefully.
We sang songs
to remember things
nobody cared about,
all so we could forget
our complacency
with our whereabouts.
Yet we found ourselves
surrounded by the sea.
Some brave souls ventured
into the deep,
and more and more people proclaimed,
"Follow me."
Yet I believed they
were drifting in too deep.
Mindless people
were all I could see.
As for me,
I tried desperately
to cling to land
as the sand
held my memory
and my hopes
were held
in the palm
of my hand.
Both man and woman
exited the island
for promise of
betterment.
"Better to be lost
In the desert of one's
mind,
than in the
waves of the water",
I reminded myself
plenty of times.
I did not want
to fall,
fall away.
Why enter the sea
of storms,
and heartbreak?
One by one,
my brothers and sisters left.
As I saw them leave
I realized
I was dead.
With every breath
I took,
with every time
I shook.
I looked
at the reflection
in the water
and realized
I merely existed
in this world.
Did I even matter?
I decided to venture out myself,
not for others
as a sheep to slaughter,
but as a soul divided
hungering for self worth.
I would not stay here
and let my fears
consume my years.
If I failed at least I could say
I was not led astray.
I took my ship
and set out to sea that day.
I sailed all through
the night.
I sailed with no
clear end in sight.
I began to doubt
there was purpose.
Suddenly I did not want to be there anymore.
I had gone too far I had been too slow.
As the storm began I started to regret leaving the shore.
I could have just stayed down
there and wondered
without end or change.
I could have just laid down
and never floated away.
Through the fear and the hopes
I realized it's all the same.
I'd be saying I'm sorry
all my life,
and in the end
I looked towards
sinking my sorrow
along with myself.
As I gave up my hopes I heard a voice inside my head.
"What if I told you there was a promise you had made?"
The waves crashed violently into my vessel.
"What if I told you this was not the end?"
A vague memory
passed through my head
as my sinking ship
lowered to its end.
I remembered my brother
the one who had led the way.
I remembered we knew each other
and our hopes were to meet again.
I remembered what he had said.
"Follow me instead."
I regretted my inhibition
and my doubts as I drowned.
"I'll take the grave in your place."
I woke up on an island
in the sea.
I asked the man next to me
where we had been,
and where we had gone.
He said,
"This is the place you've been searching for all along,
where all your blood is washed away,
and all you did will be undone."
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 12:01 PM UTC