alanpd
I mainly upload writings I wrote while traveling, a lot of strange times of healing and reflection. Though they reflect past times, I feel though my writing has improved and this platform for gives me a reason to type them up; revise and reminisce about the different skies I wrote them under.
To love is to hate
To cry is to love
To feel is to see
Life is a choice for stability or chaos.
No bliss without chaos and no clarity in its absence.
To have peace or bliss; to trust extremity or focus on placidly.
Moments come, floating like smoke in reality. Passing before our eyes, intangible from the taint human touch.
You can shape people, mold their actions but that will only bring sickness to your life.
Love lies in people, the ones who burn bright.
Love life in their moments.
But forever remember they are just smoke, only floating by, an enjoyable facade in the passing of time; but which cannot be captured in your hands, and will flee from your touch.
Focus on your own light.
Your flame glows when others flicker.
Don’t let others get to close your fire neither be drawn too close to theirs. For your flame is unrelenting, it does not ebb or flicker and its constant light will burn those who stand close for too long.
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 9:16 AM UTC
Sometimes I feel like the darkness is never ending.
The clouds only thicken and every moment of happiness is only the diminishing sunlight peaking through the closing cracks of this maelstrom.
Nearly all things remind me of my sins, my wrongs, the people I have hurt.
But I still tell myself every day:
I am ok
I am good
I am happy with who I am
My journey
My destination
And the joy I bring into people's lives
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 9:25 AM UTC
Daydream, stare into space.
Maybe you will see a glimpse of the void, the emptiness, the infinity.
Maybe you will feel the rapture of truth rushing up from your feet to your head.
Feel all, feel full and complete, to the point it all just evaporates like dew under the desert sun.
And you are just left there with a dry mouth, a false memory of its flavor.
Maybe...maybe... you will just see nothing.
Feb 27, 2016
Feb 27, 2016 at 5:46 AM UTC
Today I will make something greater than before
Today I will be better than the person I was yesterday
Today I will try see past my deficiencies and focus on my work
Today I will learn from my past mistakes and try to better myself
Today I will accept the failure of my own self expectations
Today I will ignore the criticisms placed unfairly upon me
Today I will begin to focus on my work
Today will be like every other day
Today I will realise the future
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 12:36 PM UTC
I know I am big,
so why do I feel so small.
I feel like I never smile,
but I never see a frown in my pictures.
I feel like I never do anything yet my peers are still living at home.
It’s all ******* perspective
Just be the best you can be and be ******* happy with it.
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 3:29 PM UTC
What should you expect from your days?
Everyday, in and out.
Joy, complacency, happiness.
A man once said to me happiness was a childish concept and satisfaction was the only real goal.
Maybe he was right.
Maybe he was an old fool.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 5:56 PM UTC
So I sit on my bed and think how I fit into the world; then I realise I don't, or just remember the fact again.
I want others to be pieces that fit into me, or me to them, but I realise and remember that not how things work
I sit with my screen typing away I feel like it becomes a part of myself, a tool for inflection, all day everyday. Yep I am starting to go mad.
I hate this spinning all on my own but I know that is the one rule I can't bend to what I want. Something I think fate wants me to learn that I have to enjoy.
I don’t want to, I don't like the hard aspects of life, I just want to be a kid, and let people handle my energy raw.
I have to try stop talking to myself or maybe not, it's still fun. Though I know someone is going to eventually catch me doing it. What will they think, if I already believe I am mad?
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 8:48 AM UTC
My life is full with trouble… mostly of my own making.
My life is filled with grief, from people that I can't let go.
I shun people, I love people, both of which don’t deserve.
I see words on an old lovers wall and through the memories glean some knowledge.
“I like people who aren’t pretending to be something they are not.”
And it is all simple again.
Let the daemon rest, let some of yourself through.
Just do as you feel, not what you feel you should do.
What peace comes from such simplicity.
So bitter sweet is it all.
Feb 15, 2016
Feb 15, 2016 at 11:42 AM UTC
Death is inevitable, of others and of self.
What you can not change you should not fear.
If death holds such certainty then it is life which we should be terrified of.
Because we can shape all aspects of it, and at the same time so easily squander every moment. The greatest fear lies at the end of life not in the act of dying, but looking back at the act of living. It is when you are judged for your life, for every moment by the cruelest arbiter, yourself.
For the story you chose to write and for the story you chose to leave behind.
For how you chose to define your life and your time upon this world.
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 7:57 PM UTC
For I do lose myself down the channels of the world.
Anger, Hate and Selfishness are the vices which take hold.
I can’t see or speak sometimes for the darkness that clouds around me.
But I have to remember to stay in the light, no matter the evils that may hound me.
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 7:52 AM UTC