as delta rae said,
oh baby.
it's a long way down
to the bottom of the river,
hold my hand
as she looks me in the eyes
and tells me to run
i look at her
realizing that this
this is what life really is
life is terribly unbearable
however
it is incredibly beautiful at the same time
those moments
with your favorite people
where you stop breathing
because you're so happy
moments like these are what i live for
hold my hand
oh baby
it's a long way down to the bottom of the river
delta rae was right
but sometimes
the bottom of the river isn't where you find death
sometimes
it's where you find life
happiness
or love.
the bottom of the river is only bad if you make it that.
so don't let the bottom of your river be the end
let it be the beginning
Jun 23, 2020
Jun 23, 2020 at 12:14 AM UTC
you and i.
you truly can't have one without the other.
this is for you
my first love
my first heartbreak
thank you
for putting me through that
for making me feel that
for giving me that experience.
i wouldn't be me without you,
and you wouldn't be you without me.
we don't talk too much anymore,
but when we do
it's always the most fun
thank you for always being there for me
i honestly don't think i'd be here without you
you're the best
ps. tell your brother i said hi<3
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 11:36 PM UTC
he hurt you, baby.
but you go back.
you should go back.
but
if he hurts you again,
you best believe
that
i wont stand for it
so
he better
be careful
tip-toe
whisper
be gentle
because
if he's not
you know
we wont let him get away with it
you know who you are
we know who we are
be careful b.
b. careful.
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 11:16 PM UTC
healing is really,
really hard.
but have you tried it?
have you really,
really tried?
i know what you’re thinking,
“of course I’ve tried.”
but just think.
what have you tried?
therapy? probably not.
self-care? probably not.
exercise? probably not.
eating healthy?
probably.
not.
probably not.
when you think
“will I ever be okay without them?”
what’s your answer?
probably not?
definitely not?
no?
well you’re wrong.
life goes on.
whoever you are.
whoever they are.
if they hurt you,
they
ain't
****
2020 hurt you?
yeah.
it hurt everyone.
get over it.
it will get better.
life goes on.
you will be fine.
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 11:12 PM UTC
his hair
dark and soft
i run my fingers through it, and he smiles.
his eyes
their diamond color
they send me to a different dimension.
his nose
a cute little button
with a little dent, which makes it more perfect.
his cheeks
i always want to hold them,
for they are a perfect place for my hands to go.
him
the love of my life.
thank you for giving the world color again.
i love you.
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 12:56 AM UTC
he touched me
in ways i didn't want him to
but i fought back
which he wasn't expecting.
i couldn't be mean to him
no matter how bad i wanted to
i wasn't having fun
but i know he was
and yes,
consent is still necessary in relationships.
and just because i didn't yell at him then,
doesn't mean i wasn't angry.
and yes, i said no.
loud and clear.
he didn't take no for an answer.
he told me
"it's all about what you're comfortable with."
then he had the audacity to do that to me?
he got on top of me when i didn't want him to.
he did things to me that i didn't want him to.
I'm glad my mom came when she did.
who knows what he would've done next?
and no, it's not nearly as bad as some people's situations,
but it's my experience, and i can't get it out of my head.
i hate him, i do.
i don't want to hate him anymore.
but he didn't just hurt me.
he hurt her.
and i won't stand for that.
she almost took her own life because of him.
i hate him, i do.
sometimes I get so angry
that I can't breathe.
sometimes I get so angry
that I want to cry,
but I can't.
I used to fear nothing.
I never flinched,
I never jumped,
but now,
I flinch,
and I jump.
he never hit me,
but I always felt like he would.
every time I went to hug him
he'd pull back,
and give me this look.
this look of confusion.
the second time, we were hanging out with my friends.
we were all in the bathroom because it was hot outside.
then they left.
why would they leave me alone with him?
I've never confronted them about it.
after all, they didn't know what he'd done.
he pushed me up against a wall,
trying to get me into a stall.
i told him no.
i. told. him. no.
he slipped his hand up my shirt.
I still told him no.
he shut the stall and locked it.
I still told him no.
I even fought back.
but he overpowered me.
he was bigger than me.
I'm glad my mom came when she did.
the worst thing is,
that I didn't realize what he did to me
until after he left me.
why didn't I leave?
I was in love.
that ******* idiot made me fall in love with him.
can you believe that?
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 10:06 AM UTC
i feel like im out of my body
and i know what that's called, but
there's nothing wrong with me, of course.
sometimes i don't want to be awake.
sometimes i feel so alive that i can't catch my breath.
i'm never home unless I'm with him.
which means
I'm almost never home.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 9:51 AM UTC
im
always
tired
how do i make it through every day?
i cry
and i cry a lot
but
i love
and i love a lot
i hug
and i hug,
a lot.
did you know that we need 12 hugs a day
in order to grow?
i give hugs to the people i love
and i make sure to tell them
that i love them.
because what if,
in just a moment
they're gone?
they won't know that i love them.
they must know that i love them.
i can't show them nearly enough love,
but i can try.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 9:36 AM UTC
i've kept secrets
so many secrets
everyone else's
everyone else's but mine
an open book
everyone
knows
everything
im vulnerable
but i truly hope
nobody takes advantage
of me,
and my emptiness
Nov 15, 2019
Nov 15, 2019 at 8:43 AM UTC
i can finally tell her
she will know i'm happy
but i can't forget
the things that hurt me
i must tell her
i don't want to
what if she worries
what if she tells someone
confidentiality,
right?
Nov 15, 2019
Nov 15, 2019 at 8:39 AM UTC