telling everyone i missed you that day and then all of a sudden there you were
as if you heard every single one of my words
standing there, as if you'd just returned from the ends of the earth
i clung to you like a baby bat and didn't let go
and then after the lights went out you drove me home
sadness in your eyes
a humming car
lampposts flickering by into the night
i missed you as soon as you drove away and i hope you will be alright
Apr 25, 2022
Apr 25, 2022 at 2:13 PM UTC
little spider under the glass
who trapped you and forgot about you?
i know we've never been friends but i hate to know that you suffered
to see you like this
all legs curled upwards
Mar 30, 2022
Mar 30, 2022 at 4:47 PM UTC
today was a good day
even though the sky was a horrible white and the wind was in my face as i rode my bike
the awkward 'sorry's and smiles as i passed people on the street made today a good day
i wondered where they could be going or if my smile might have made them just half as happy as theirs made me
i rode over the bumpy grey cobbles that once might have annoyed me
but today i greeted them with joy and hope
i noticed too that the branches are just beginning to regain their leaves and that alone today planted a small happiness in me
on this dismal day, somehow i found the strength to breathe
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 5:22 PM UTC
as i fall asleep, i want to cry, for i felt a part of something tonight
my guts weren't aching and i didn't feel myself wanting to leave the room
i wasn't yearning
i wasn't waiting for something to go wrong
for one day i didn't feel like i was sinking into the ground, i sat at the table and i let myself laugh so loud
i felt a part of the earth spinning, flowers blooming and morning birds singing, i didn't dread going to sleep because i wanted to be awake as long as time would let me
it didn't feel like nobody needed me - it felt like i could finally be free
and although i lay in my bed terrified of time, i want every part of me to remember tonight
standing under the void of a sky blowing cold air as if it was smoke
the bliss of not wondering if i was embarrassing
the comforting touch of the winter air's sting
i will my all to have hope from this
Jan 9, 2021
Jan 9, 2021 at 6:16 PM UTC
we could show each other the songs we like
underneath an everlasting sky
holding hands while we fall asleep
i'll sing you a stupid song as we overlook the ever looming fog
i won't get nervous when you look at me
i'll spend an eternity with you, my ever blooming blue, we'll drift through the evergreens when everyone's asleep
like two lost ghosts who only in each other have a home
we'll never again have to be alone
pale wings and soft hands, invisible and blushing
i wish you were real
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 5:10 PM UTC
black hair and waterfalls of tears - i promise it will get better from here
you'll learn to find new paths, branches and leaves, by yourself
in the winding green forests that you both used to call home
one day there will be a small glimpse of purpose even if it's only making it until the next day
and the next day, and the next, though your body is weary, your mind is blank and your heart is heavy and grey
it won't always be this way.
the moon will look like more of a friend rather than only a horrible day's bittersweet end
you'll be more than just the person that always walks behind, never knowing the right words to say and holding in the urge to cry
there'll be a reason to get out of bed, a small calmness that allows you to sleep,
a shred of acceptance for your own soul
i promise that you don't need another person to make you feel whole
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 5:18 PM UTC
crying hopelessly by the beach
before i truly knew what sadness felt like
you rest your head on my shoulder when we got home and i didn’t move an inch in that dimly lit room
trying not to breathe, i felt like the keeper of your sleep
how sweet it was to have someone like me
in the morning we gardened as a family
throwing the ball for our dog, running inside and outside not minding too much about the sharp stones underneath our bare feet
for once i was a part of something, a mismatched family one day to fall apart
but we didn’t know that yet as we walked through the graveyard -
pink skies overhead guarding the dead
we walked our dog through here again and again
down through the emerald forest,
collecting twigs and flying on rope swings and through the enchanting trees we would soar
as we walked on towards the sea what would we have thought
if one of us just said ‘in the end we won’t have this anymore’
Feb 22, 2020
Feb 22, 2020 at 4:21 PM UTC
the air is as it was when we first met
freezing and brisk, the wind always exposing my cold face
i listen to the songs i listened to last year when i would take the bus to your house and it’s as if i was suddenly underneath the old sky
magical and new and feeling so excited to see you
but i carry on walking as the old bus passes by
i never wanted you to see me with my hair blowing crazily in the breeze
i wished to stay in the dark forever, where i was nothing but a shadow of myself
a silhouette to love, all my flaws hidden away
when the sun came up i’d be so ashamed of my face
but i’m better now and i couldn’t have done it without you
walking in the cold air feels so eerie because i’m reminded of our old selves
but it’s enchanting too and i’m so confused
i don’t think it could feel like anything else
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 10:04 PM UTC
on a freezing early-winter night we sat on a wobbly table in the place we first met. by the small bookshelf library, we took turns reading moominland midwinter to each other. my hands were ice cold because i lost my gloves but i didn’t care so much because i had love
we pointed out the pictures we liked and i felt like i fell into the moominland sky. floating and swirling past the twinkling moon, stroking the stars as i passed on by. i thought about the times when you held me as i cried, when i was shaking and couldn’t find a way to speak. you held me in the dark until we fell asleep. i thought about our adventures through the trees, and our treacherous walks in the pouring down rain
it all started on the bench in the corner
and as i looked at it softly in the middle of the night
our whole love flashed in front of me
Dec 5, 2019
Dec 5, 2019 at 6:42 PM UTC
it will soon be the last day that i look out of my favourite window
the window i turned to at night
when i had no one else but the streetlights
i watched at 4am as nothingness happened
the dim lights made me feel less lonely
i’d watch cats roam through held back tears
wondering where they would go
tip toeing under the orange glows
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 7:51 PM UTC