Oh what a fair maiden
you have proven to be.
When the light hits just,
just right, it does show me.
Show me what? naught but
a shy person, a scared woman,
a hopeful person dancing
on moonlit silver, me a fan
of the way you move.
So please tell me Alice mine,
why do you stay when
you could go and be fine?
All I can ask, is please
stay a while longer with me.
Because I love it when you
say my name breathlessly
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 4:37 AM UTC
It's a leap of Faith, to trust you.
I don't trust easily.
I don't connect with people easily.
I disconnect from those around me.
They don't understand that people hurt the most.
They say it's love, or rejection; it's rejection- not love.
They say it's words.
But it isn't, it's the people.
Because people reject, people speak those words.
So how can I trust those who might hurt me?
How can connect with those who have or will?
It's easier to disconnect, to seperate myself from reality.
That's why my nightmares are reality.
I don't have nightmares about the things that go bump in the night.
That doesn't scare me, not anymore.
You can't escape reality.
All you can do is pretend it doesn't exist.
Like most of the things that go bump in the night.
But at least those aren't real.
And the things that are, they happen in the day time too.
But they're easy to ignore, to pretend it's not an issue.
At least, when you don't deal with it.
You say you are a monster?
But I can still take that leap of Faith.
I can still trust you.
I can still connect with you.
I can't disconnect with you- I'll cling to you.
Because for me, those are hard to find.
I'll be scared when you show that you're a monster.
I'm still scared anyways.
I'm scared of the reality that you will hurt me.
You'll hurt me with words, or with rejection.
I can pretend that you aren't the monster you say you are.
I can pretend that you aren't capable of it.
I can pretend because I have no proof.
It's not that I don't believe you're capable- everyone is.
It's that I don't believe you will.
You are no more a monster to me than Beast is to Belle.
Belle is as much a monster to Beast as Beast is to the world.
Belle could have hurt Beast, she could have rejected him or said cruel things.
But she didn't.
You are my Belle as much as I am your Beast.
Because I know you can hurt me.
I know you can say things, or reject me.
But yet, here I am, and I've taken that leap of Faith.
Because I trust you.
I trust you to not be the monster you say you are.
I trust you not to scare me.
I trust you not to hurt me.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 8:16 PM UTC
I feel the tears slip,
I feel the tension grip,
and the I know it.
The knife will slip,
as the tears do fall
down my face and
hit the ground, I
realize that this all
is for nothing but pain.
It hurts, this life,
like the beautiful touch
of the knife as it gains
purchase in my skin.
Another starburst
of pain as the blood flows.
Soon these people will
have to call a hearse.
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 21, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC
**** YOU, YOU THINK
THAT BECAUSE YOUR OLDER,
THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING?
ALL YOU ARE IS A WASTE OF INK.
INK ON A PAGE THAT DON'T MATTER.
FOR SO LONG AS I BREATHE I WON'T
CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY.
**** IT, I AM THE MAD HATTER.
AND ALL I HAVE IS THE RAGE
AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT,
AGAINST THE FADING OF DREAMS,
AGAINST EVERY SINGLE CAGE.
AND NOBODY EVEN ******* CARES
BECAUSE WE ARE ALL ****** UP,
BECAUSE WE ARE ALL MONSTERS,
ALL YOU'RE DOING IS WASTING AIR.**
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 21, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
I am fading away,
Floating on the winds of time.
I am not me, no way
for me to say I am who I twas'.
I wish my story was over,
then I would not have to pretend,
that I was always happy,
I am too ******* tired to end.
And people think this is
a downward spiral,
but they don't know, this
is one facet of who I am.
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 21, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
maybe it was your brooding eyes
maybe it was your veins
maybe it was the fact that i can't stop imagining you with
your hands scraping at my back
because when i'm with you,
i can't help but feel like i'm radiating
visions of you running your lips down my back
keep me awake
and i can't ******* sit still
let me taste your ivory skin
let me feel your eyelashes under my lips
because, **** without you i suffer
and i'm greedy with my touch
because i can't seem to get enough of you
no matter how much i grab
bite
kiss
lick
even thinking about this makes me shiver
**** me with no regret
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 11:49 PM UTC
1) you're going to need to know how to stop slurring and how to walk straight. be able to say the alphabet backwards when you're even close to unconsciousness, know when to stop ******* driving.
2) sleep will be either the most evasive or clinging lover. when you are awake for six days, write. when you are about to sleep for two, make sure you are on your side.
3) when the money is gone, you need to learn how to leave your body when they enter it. eventually you won't be able to feel a thing. but know that when you're sober she touches you a year later, you won't be able to feel it.
4) ******* won't be as good as getting high. don't feel like a genius when you wake up and have that idea.
5) your lovers and friends will all be addicted. drugs will become the only **** or interesting thing to you. years later, you'll still crave the taste of opiates on her tongue.
6) some of them will die. you won't be able to cry.
7) instead, you will be completely numb for weeks and you won't be able to tell the difference between the dope and the pain.
8) the dope will eventually become the pain.
9) it will never **** the pain.
10) lose all self respect now. lose all timidness.
11) don't forget you will lose all freedom in your search for it.
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 11:01 AM UTC
Am I mad, I ask.
To have no heart,
It is too much of a task,
I always depart,
because it is not my heart
not no more.
It has always been a part,
of the world around me, forevermore.
I laugh too loud,
I shout too everything,
my smile too proud,
the world do bring
too much for me.
Too much temptation,
too much to be,
too much hesitation.
I gave my love to all,
But my soul was not mine,
it is enough to make me ball,
so with more and more lines,
I hope to tame the monster,
with no heart and another
soul, to keep it from her,
because I am but a cur,
whose heart belongs to one,
the soul to the other girl,
because they give me fun,
theirs at but a single curl
of a finger. So **** me please,
so that I do not have to stay
away from both, I need release
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 7:35 PM UTC
My body Screams for release,
It begs for never ending peace.
One cut and rest forevermore,
or a quick lay, bones on the floor.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 1:39 AM UTC
It is just another lonely night
where I sit with a pen and try
to forget my feelings, might
I finally just disappear now?
can I just have to not feel this
war to actually give a ****
to not succumb to the bliss
of apathy? How badly I want
to not have to fight for you
guys, because none of you
would care if I stopped, who
would actually stop me if
I gave up fighting to care for
anyone? who could be able
to stop me from cutting once more?
I don't even remember why
I stopped, all I know is that
I can't, it would hurt... my
friends, or family, or somebody
but I cannot even remember who
I am not supposed to lie to
I am not supposed to... to
what, exactly? to not want
to sleep once more, or drink
or why I find it hard to breathe
or to stop it all within the blink
of an eye, to fade from your
sights, and just.... fade into
the crowds once more, a friendly
stranger, god I want it to woo
me to sleep once more, that knife
against all of the fake strife
that I call into my heart once more.
I fight for people to be in my life
yet I forget why I even bother
anymore, all I know is I... need
them for something, a reason
that makes me not try to bleed.
my closet friend wants to hang,
chill with old man grim, and
no one will talk to me 'cept
the brother who others brand
a monster of rage and anger.
not without me talking to them
first, did you all just stop wanting
me to be in your lives? all of them
to busy or have to hard of a time
to see me? to even try to talk to me
is a great struggle, so I have to lie
or you would all leave me to be
but I cannot get this voice to say
I would hurt you all if I vanished,
or if I died, but I am losing this war
once again, soon to have banished
my empathy, my heart once again.
and I know that if I am asked about
this poem, I will just say its all good
and I can make you all believe me bout
it, because my facade is to good
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 12:07 AM UTC