Hi, I'm sorry this is a little overdue.
I want you to understand how empty I feel today.
I know, I know...
Everyone gets sad once in a while
but for me,
I get happy once in a while.
My innate emotion is sadness
but sometimes I think I feel real happiness.
But I'm here to tell you about today.
Today, I had a full day off of work.
I have three jobs
and today I didn't have to go to any.
Sometimes I fear a day like this,
I fear I won't be able to book all the time up in my day
I fear that if I stay in bed for too long I won't get out of it
I fear that I will eat too much
I fear that I won't eat enough
I fear that I will have to socialize too much
I fear that I will be too alone
I fear that I will let my thoughts consume me.
And today, they did. They consumed me.
I feel like I am deep in that hole again,
that dark place I go to when I don't have distractions.
It is the moment I realize I am not happy,
I've just been distracted for the past couple of weeks.
Oct 24, 2019
Oct 24, 2019 at 12:29 PM UTC
I don’t know what I’m waiting for
To publish my thoughts.
What’s the worst that can happen?
Nov 12, 2018
Nov 12, 2018 at 1:54 AM UTC
I'll try to write a poem
Something not too often spoken
To inspire a population
Or better yet an entire generation.
The words I choose will be wise
Yet I don't want confusing eyes
So I'll try to keep it simple
And avoid my use of symbol.
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 30, 2015 at 12:28 AM UTC
She sat as she pondered,
What happens now?
Looks down at her hands
Reminisces those days
When the world once stood on her fingertips.
When all was at hands reach,
When she believed in herself.
She punches the wall,
What happens now?
Her knuckles bleed as she wishes they'd stop
Her fingers trembled as tears ran down.
She pauses.
Bites her tongue, and punches the mirror.
As it shattered, she sobbed.
What happens now?
She looks down at her hands
Cut, bruised, swollen, bleeding,
Broken.
She kneels on the red glass,
Enjoying the pain.
Reminiscing about those days,
When the whole world had once stood on her fingertips.
She wraps her hands, tries to make amends.
Picks up the pieces of her own shattered...
Mirror.
Attempts to piece it back together
But she can't.
She lays on her red pool of sorrows.
What happens now?
Looking up at her fingertips,
around at her hopes and dreams,
and mostly within hands reach,
all she sees is red shattered glass.
Cut, bruised, swollen, bleeding
Broken.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 9:57 AM UTC
I have shown my words
the folded edges of my book
the accidental rips
the mindful confusing to all annotations
the highlighted quotes
the underlines
the arrows
the connections.
I have shown my mind
the unhealthy parts
the mistakes
the mindful confusing to all thoughts
the highlighted memories
the underlying reasons
the why's the who's
the connections.
I have shown my art
the wrinkled pages in my sketchpad
the cross outs
the mindful confusing to all compositions
the highlights and shadows
the underlying feelings
the what's and why's
the connections.
I have shown my book,
I have shown myself.
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 9:40 AM UTC