"When the ****** reaches the brain, it latches on to pain receptors and blocks them, effectively blocking pain. That is why opiates are the most effective painkillers, but the problem is that they don't just block the pain receptors. They block all feeling, just not as effectively as pain. Even movement centers of the brain are partially blocked, and that is how an opioid overdose happens, as breathing and heartbeat are slowed, and essentially, blocked."
You know withdrawals are starting when you start ******** your guts out, and you realize you haven't had a ******* dump in days.
You know the withdrawals are starting when the itches are no longer funny, no longer a silly past time while the coedine blocks everything else
You know the withdrawals are starting when you finally internalize the things you've spent the last few days, weeks, doing, to yourself, to your friends
You know the withdrawals are here when you're trembling on the floor of the shower, biting your nails too far, in between wanting to feel something, or wanting the tiny bit you can feel to stop, because it's altogether completely overwhelming you, and everything you've been blocking is released, and it hurts worse than you could ever have imagined it would when you originally blocked it because
"The human brain is too smart for this trickery, though. It will adapt to this lack of pain by increasing the number of total pain receptors, permanently. There is no known limit to how much a person's tolerance to opiates can grow. People have been known to ingest 5 grams of ****** every day and barely get high. It is an endless back and forth, of killing pain and increasing the potential to have pain, that has no limit. Addiction to opiates is hell on earth."
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 3:06 AM UTC
The first
Of January
(The first month)
I looked at two
Rectangular yellow pastel
Pills
And said
One
Last time
22 (twenty two) days
Later
And I'm still not finished coming down
Around 70 I decided
Close to 70 pills
I
Injested
(Took)
(To get high)
This month
(January)
The first two yellow pills I took I got through a trade, fair and square
The rest were stolen
From my own mother
When is a girl now a woman
And when does user become ******
Is it when their cost outweighs what they can give?
Effectively rendering a human being
Worth-less?
Or junk?
On the first day of the first month of this year I got high
(I got high (
It wasn't the first time)
Not quite the last
But this will be
Heaven willing
After this one more time
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 2:42 AM UTC
Addict.
Maybe we should all tell you straight up, before you even know our middle names
I'm an addict. Yes, drugs. Yes, I have dreams, and parents, and friends who don't take drugs, and even friends who think I'm still sober, and this relapse is just that a relapse and it'll be over quite soon I'll show you
And I do want more out of life than this. Personally, I would like to travel, but don't we all. I'd also like to get good at skateboarding and writing and dating pretty people.
But yeah, there is the whole addiction thing. So let's get it out of the way. Don't love me, honestly. It'll hurt you almost as much as it'll hurt me to watch myself hurt you, because as much as I don't want it to happen, I'll destroy myself, and if you love me you'll see it, and you can't stop it, and if you love me it'll hurt you to see me hurt, and it'll hurt me back, and it's honestly just a world of hurt where I'm coming from.
But if I get sober, and I will, I'll show you that I can be as good as all those other non-addicts running around saying no to drugs. And you'll love it. And I'll be good to you.
Our paradise is right around the corner.
Just let me take a few more hits first.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 8:44 PM UTC
How many did I take?
How many of those did I chew
so
They
would
hit
HARD
How many did I snort?
Which ones were those,
gorgeous
tiny
white
pills
How many more until I stop?
Same answer as always-
Just once more
then I'm finished
for real this time.
Then never again.
I promise.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 8:32 PM UTC
Stop.
You've had enough.
You're good man, take a seat,
enjoy yourself, more won't make you feel any better-
Ash the cigarette. Then put it out.
/more will make you better.
Drinkmore and feelless.
More and you can't hurt anyone anymore tonight
More and you'll spin into tomorrow, and arrive
dizzy and
laughing and
breathless
/Your parents love you. Stop.
They care about you, your friends they care, they don't want to see
you
like
this
put the pill down
/dontstop.
Drink another
and maybe they won't have to
see you
at all
And maybe you won't either
And you won't have to get up tomorrow
dizzy and
Breathing.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 8:25 PM UTC